Dementia and Broken Hip

55 replies

WhereAreMyAirpods · 19/02/2023 07:33

Dad has had dementia for around 5 years now and has deteriorated fairly rapidly over the last 18 months or so. Had a call from mum late yesterday afternoon, he'd had a fall, couldn't get up. Ambulance was called (and arrived quickly), DH and I dropped everything and jumped in the car - we are 2 hours away. Long story short is that Dad has broken his hip and needs an operation today.

Surgeon was careful to stress the risks of such a major operation in a man who is weeks from his 79th birthday. Mum wasn't really taking that in. I got the impression that they are expecting Dad to be in for weeks. He was very confused in the hospital, did recognise me when I arrived but was extremely agitated, shouty.

Not really sure what I am asking here. Anyone else had a parent go through similar? I'm not sure he'll ever be well enough to return home to be honest, the mobility issues coupled with the dementia might be just too much for my mum.

OP posts:

halfshutknife · 19/02/2023 08:18

WhereAreMyAirpods · 19/02/2023 08:01

I'm just packing a bag to go back for a few nights. Mum is capable and does not have cognitive issues but she is equally elderly.

There is no "good" outcome here. Dementia is such an awful condition. And selfishly, I am struggling myself at the moment with a horrendous menopause, anxiety, insomnia...

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel shit without feeling guilty and make sure you try what you need to to keep yourself well. Protect the carers.

Original poster

WhereAreMyAirpods · 19/02/2023 08:14

Thank you@Wrongsideofpennines . Mum seems to think he'll be home by the weekend. 🙄Some management of expectations needed I think. He is in the regional major hospital close to home and the surgeon we spoke to last night said that he would probably stay there for his rehab.

Spoke at length to my brother last night, we had both been speaking over the previous few weeks about getting social services in to assess Dad and to look at options for giving mum a bit of respite. This admission is certainly going to force the issue which is not a bad thing. We need to think about Mum's mental health and quality of life too.

OP posts:

Wrongsideofpennines · 19/02/2023 08:02

I'm sorry this has happened to your dad. I have experience of working with people with dementia and following fractured hips. My own grandma had dementia and they delayed the surgery for her btoken hip in the hope she would stabilise a bit more prior to anaesthetic but unfortunately she didn't but she was 93 so a fair bit older.

Unfortunately the stats about recovery post hip fracture aren't great but that's usually because of people's other health problems and previous mobility levels. 79 isn't that old, and although sometimes the dementia can deteriorate because of hospital stay, being out of a familiar environment etc, sometimes people do well because they can't remember they're not supposed to be able to walk.

Once he has had the surgery they usually try to get them on their feet quite quickly. Depending on how he does they might just rehab him at the hospital or move him to a specialist unit or care home. This probably will be a few weeks. It might be that he needs some formal carers to return home, or that a care home is an option. The hospital social Work team should guide you through that.

But right now I would focus on supporting your parents through the operation and seeing how things go. Your dad was probably in a lot of pain and because of his dementia struggling to manage/articulate this so that's why he was agitated. Take him in some familiar things - pjs, clothes, blanket, usual razor, aftershave etc to try and reduce the confusion of the hospital environment.

Original poster

WhereAreMyAirpods · 19/02/2023 08:01

I'm just packing a bag to go back for a few nights. Mum is capable and does not have cognitive issues but she is equally elderly.

There is no "good" outcome here. Dementia is such an awful condition. And selfishly, I am struggling myself at the moment with a horrendous menopause, anxiety, insomnia...

OP posts:

halfshutknife · 19/02/2023 07:38

I'm so sorry this has happened.

It's a tricky one. The op to fix it could make him deletions and accelerate the dementing process however if treated conservatively the pain and meds can do the same.

Where I am they have scrapped hip precautions which was always the trickiest part of rehabbing someone with a cognitive impairment post surgery.

I think the consultant will have explained the mortality rate to you but I suspect the alternative is fairly similar in terms of qol.

I hope your mum and dad are doing ok.

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