Boredom

It's the "yes but" game isn't it?

www.navgati.in/games-where-all-players-lose/

Family tree (or you do it and try to get all their memories from them while they are still compos mentis)
Boom Radio - can't recommend it enough.
Jigsaws
Go for a walk every day
WI or U3A
Volunteering

Are they together all the time as well. It really is boring not to have time apart as you have less to talk about. I remember this from lockdown.

OP, you are not their Entertainment Convener! This is not your problem to solve, it is theirs. Stop setting yourself up to fail - you are just in an endless loop of making suggestions which they then reject.
I have been retired for six years, and all my
friends and I keep active with a variety of hobbies and interests, from bridge to photography, fishing to table tennis, volunteering, church, u3a, holidays, seeing family etc.
Just tell your DPs that if they won’t go out for fear of covid, they will have to find ways of amusing themselves at home - there is no magic solution that you can provide.
A slight concern is that stopping social
activities can be an early sign of dementia - you might need to keep an eye out for deterioration on that score. But otherwise, let them get on with it.

My parents at the age of 75 have just taken up Bowls. They really enjoy it and have met up socially with other members as well.

Same as I’d tell the kids, only boring people are bored.

it is a persons own responsibility to find pleasant and meaningful activities for them to do. Don’t try to fix this, it is for them to fix themselves

To be honest I feel the vast majority of older people get like this. Their hobby becomes moaning, about the state of the country, the neighbours, how no one visits them etc.

Tried this with DM. Basically she wanted me to drop everything, emigrate 🙄and sort her life out for her (aka live with her and sit and watch TV). I did have some sympathy because she'd spent years looking after people (us as children and then her DM) and was at a loss what to with herself, but she was solvent, healthy and mobile. But nope, all that was up to me to sort out 10,000 miles away.

There are on line volunteering options as well. Do it.org.

What's their financial situation like? I suggested to my dad that he returned to work as he was only on state pension and very small workplace pension. He now does two days a week at a supermarket and seems much happier, its physical work so he's happy pottering around on his days off.

Mum is difficult though. She's unwell and has never had any hobbies. I've given up making suggestions to her. She's only happy when we take her out for the day but seldom do as we have to pay and her walking is so slow it limits where we can go. She also purposely makes things difficult (I. E will not budge from her very limited routine then complains we don't visit).

I think volunteering would be good for them.

Or have a look at local age UK website for things near you, there will be guided walks, coffee mornings, men in sheds, walking football.

If they like walking, I'm sure their will be a walking group local to you. One near us meet via coach so go further out. Look at meet up it's just not for youngsters or just Google.

Join your local u3a group www.u3a.org.uk/ there will be lots off group activities out there.

If determined to not go out then knitting, crafting, puzzle books, jigsaws, model making, play video games, diamond painting, cross stitch, paper flowers, scratch art, paint my numbers, rock painting, colouring, board games. Take them to your local hobby craft I can never go there without coming out with something to add to my to do collection.

If they say no to all that, then tell them to shut up and stop moaning if there not going to try something.

I came on to suggest volunteering too.

Do the like dogs? What about the cinnamon trust? If they like walking we have a group of volunteers who clear overgrown oaths, fix styles etc. Libraries are usually calling out for volunteers

have they looked into u3a?www.u3a.org.uk

What about the app "Meetup", there are online events, outdoor simple walks etc. Even if they did something once a month...?

My DPs are the same. Pre covid they would go out for lunch say once a week or so with friends, now DM is refusing to go out or let DF out. It's very sad and I don't know what the answer is. I could try and force the issue but sense DM couldn't cope and selfish as it may be, I prefer to retain their current fragile equilibrium as it's less work for me.

And if they reckon they’re too old, they’re not. Our oldest volunteer is well into her 80s, and my father was into his 90s when he stopped doing energetic volunteering.

If they’re fit and well, most volunteer groups will be crying out for volunteers. I don’t know what it’s like in the south, but in the north, if it’s not a statutory duty of the Council, then it will now be being run by volunteers, from parks to public libraries.

I've been ill in bed and discovered there is lots of really good stuff on BBC Sounds. Probably other podcasts etc.

If they wanted to, they could have themselves a nice routine:

• listen to episode of chosen podcast/programme
• have a chat about it
• find out more about the subject under discussion
• tell you about it when you visit or speak

I have no amazing ideas for you, OP, but mine are getting the same way. Additionally, DM is less mobile these days so even getting out to the shops doesn’t happen so often, and there is little to do in their small town anyway.

This ! Otherwise you will just get frustrated in trying to make suggestions/include them in your life etc. nothing is going to change unless they come up with a solution. It’s not a you problem it’s their problem.
Agree with pp - some people are negative Nora’s and revel in moaning. It’ll get you down unless you turn it back on them.
Basically their problem, they need to find a solution and only then will you be willing to listen and help if needs be eg sourcing items on eBay / directions to a group session etc