Siblings want to put mum in a home

Either way, it's not relevant - the DSis cannot look after mum 24/7 if mum refuses carers and nebuliser. I think that's why the other siblings also agreed!

And frankly most families do not expect to be paid hundreds of pounds a week to look after their mum.

She last posted over a week ago. Possibly she thought on what she read and realised that her sister couldn't be expected to carry on providing care if her mum refused help.

You think they were providing full care without any proof at all. They might just have been popping in and making a cup of tea every few days.

Well, your sister got an extension as payment for looking after your mum for 7 years. My fils care home.was 1500 a week, so it would have cost you all around 550,000 for that 7 years. An extension sounds pretty good value.

I have sneaking suspicion that we are not going to get any updates on this, I feel like OP has abandoned the thread,
Why do I always let myself get invested in these threads, I never learn 😤

From OP's second post:
Mum has been in hospital recently for short stays and sis now wants to put her in a home as she says mum at risk of falling and she can't be at home all day everyday. Mum is mentally fully functioning although speech not so great now. Drs have advised mum needs nebuliser at home and for safety, to wear an alarm round her neck. Mum has refused. Sis says she has offered to get carers to help but mum says no. Other 2 siblings now agree she should go into a home.

Certainly, mum now needs more care, but is refusing options other than DSis doing it. Other siblings agree re care home.

Well if sister works and mum has refused carers etc during the day. I guess you think the blue fairy will step in 🙄

How do you know she doesn’t?

We don't even know how much care the sister has provided. It might be she has provided no care and wants her to go into a home because of recent care needs.
As usual this thread is full of assumptions.

The point is @Tirednest she didn't need to go into a home 7 years ago and doesn't need to now.

@Tirednest I'm not being horrible. From what the OP said her mother gave the sister all the money from the sale of her flat to build a granny flat, not extra rooms in the house. If the sister didn't want to 'look after' her she shouldn't have taken the money and used it for her house. She should also have thought about what would happen to her mother if she needed to go into a home. To put her in a state funded home when her mother has essentially paid for her to improve her property is disgusting. If the OP had said that her sister was going to put some money towards her care then I might feel differently.

How horrible.

Her sister has looked after her mum for 7 years. Your mum made the mistake of giving it all to your dsis, she should have made some financial provisions for you. I expect they thought it was a great idea at the time.

If your mum had had to goninto a home 7 years ago you'd have lost all the house money anyway.

For taking care of her elderly mother for 7 years?

Your sister is an arsehole and needs to be told what a horrendous human she is.

That might not* be seen as unreasonable, I meant

@MereDintofPandiculation

As I said it depends on circumstances , intention to give away money, proportionality (amount gifted compared to costs of building granny annexe) and what could reasonably have been anticipated on her needs for care at that time.

But if she paid say £30-60k for example for a granny annexe to be built and then lived in it for 7 years, with support of her family living there, that might or be seen as unreasonable nor a bad return. If she gifted £200k then that may raise questions about intention. These are complicated questions.

Case work

@Pencase
I thought they removed the 7 year rule for deprivation of assets

You're talking cross purposes

It's nothing to do with an exact number of years, it's the intention at the time, timescale and what could reasonably have been anticipated about her needs.

Deprivation of assets is when you give away your assets to avoid paying for care you could reasonably have anticipated you'd need. And how that money was given away.

So paying for granny annexe in a relatives house to be built so you could live in it for a long while- if all your money went in that - is unlikely to be a misuse of your your funds -as seven years of living there is a long time and her needs have only just increased. It depends on the circumstances as there are variables.

For eg Only living there 3 months before needing residential care, might be seen as having deprived yourself of a lot of money disproportionately.
Gifting large amounts of money to rebuild the house not for your benefit if you reasonably could predict you would need that money for your level of needs at the time might be considered a deprivation of assets

The most important thing here is, no matter how much your siblings want to put you mum in a home, they cannot. Social services will not even visit unless your mum consents.

Contact AGE UK for advice about care home fees. Your sister is mistaken if she thinks she won’t have to pay. Ask for a leaflet from AGEUK on depravation of assets. This charity is wonderful.

This. Hopefully you are going in daily to help your mum and sister.

I thought they removed the 7 year rule for deprivation of assets

You couldn't argue deprivation of asserts over someone that lived in a granny annex for 7 years Is that opinion or based on actual cases?

This ^^

You couldn't argue deprivation of asserts over someone that lived in a granny annex for 7 years

OP if Mum moved into Dsis's home 7 years ago that's a long time being cared for and a lot can and does change in that time. She's refusing to accept help and expecting Dsis to care for her more than was originally agreed

It depends on what legal documents DM signed when she gave her DD and your BIL the money for extension on their house - ie. I suspect she did this without going on the property deeds. They can decline to have her back if so. It would be a lodging situation with resident LL

Some people make very unwise decisions about doing this and don't have expectations that match their family's or staying there forever even if they develop very high care needs that require a care home

With capacity she can decline to go into a care home but she can't force her DD to continue to house her if she has no legal part ownership of their property. The money before would likely be seen as a gift until they signed documents otherwise

She can apply for supported sheltered housing extra care scheme but if her needs are at residential level she won't be offered a place so residential may be her only alternative