This is what it boils down to. She is in a care home because she can no longer live safely alone at home (several falls, almost completely immobile, dementia beginning to set in).
She has been there since 1st December. My brother and I, who are both in our 60s and live 1.5 and 2.5 hours drive away, signed a big sigh of relief and hoped the endless phone calls and problems would go away when she moved in.
But ... NO! She is not happy in the home. She tells me every phone call and every visit. She said she wanted he and I to visit her at the same time so the three of us could "talk things over". I have agreed to go - very reluctantly - but what for? She can't go home! I am getting to the end of my rope with her endless complaints. Because she is getting forgetful she literally writes a list to tell me. It will be more of the same tomorrow. I'm completely dreading it and so resentful of all the worry and stress this causes me. My teenage son and my husband are also at low points right now, I don't need this on top of everything.
I just want her to appreciate what she has and accept this is her life now. It is an extremely good care home, very expensive, very comfortable. It is the place she said she'd want to go if she ever reached that point!
The stress is making me depressed. No doubt my brother too.
How should I approach it do you think? Any ideas?