Is all care just "palliative" from here?

29 replies

Dustyblue · 09/01/2023 15:26

I've just been reading through this section on MN; my heart is literally heaving for what you've all been through.

My FIL is 80, vascular dementia, we had to intervene (his partner was in denial) and bring him down to us from another state (we're in Oz).

He's had a rapid decline and is now mentally gone, no idea who anyone is. We did the usual things of putting up family pictures with name-labels to remind him- he can't recognise his wedding picture or say who his children are. You get the idea.

He's had a catheter in place for over 6 weeks now, and they don't seem to want to do anything about it. He's had urinary problems for years, wouldn't be surprised if he has prostate cancer. They won't even do a PSA blood test to check.

Am I right in thinking they're just trying to keep him eating, moving and comfortable? Is that why the doctors don't bother?

Not that I'd want him put through extensive treatment, no point, but is that why the staff are moving so slowly?

Nasty fucking disease this is.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dustyblue · 09/01/2023 15:46

Thanks so much.

We have Enduring Power of Attorney and all the necessary documents.

I think part of the problem is that he was admitted to the place just before Xmas. If anything admin-related is going to stuff up, it's at that time of year, right?

@Fedupofdiets Thank you, what you say rings true. AFAIK, a simple PSA blood test could tell them a fair bit about his prostate situation and is largely non-invasive. Then again, you probably wouldn't treat it, I'm thinking.

OP posts:

CuntingCMS · 09/01/2023 15:37

People with advanced dementia are unable to consent to medical tests or possible treatments / surgery etc . Often tests are not undertaken as no treatment could be consented to anyway .

Fedupofdiets · 09/01/2023 15:34

I think some of it depends on what the treatment would be if it was cancer. Say it was, or even a benign prostate he may need surgery (TURP) and the recovery could be fatal for him. Higher risk of chest infection, reduced mobility leading to increased frailty and acceleration of his decline in general. That said there is mediation that can help with prostate problems so a PSA test should be a basic non invasive measure of there being something wrong / treatable.

PoinsettiaPosturing · 09/01/2023 15:29

He could realistically live like this for another 2-3 years, vascular dementia is a cunt of a disease but it doesn't mean health care professionals can ignore his discomfort or urinary issues

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