End of life question - sad subject

Hi op I really don't know what to say but just to say I'm thinking of you.
It must be very hard, very weird and very sad.
I have no experience of being with someone when they pass but often see threads like yours and think gosh what do you do, how do you cope.

It must take enormous strength in the face of the unknown.

Sending hugs to you both xxxx

Sorry op, it must be so hard for you and your family.

No one can say how long.

My advice would be to try to not focus on or take any notice of the numbers on things like oxygen saturation monitors because at this time his body will be shutting down and it will not be accurate so it’s not giving any meaningful information.
Look at your dad instead. Does he seem calm and peaceful, is he sleeping and settled? Does he look comfortable and pain free?
That’s what matters, not numbers on a machine.

I'm so sorry. Where is he? Could any of the palliative care staff help advise? Not the doctors. Staff who are used to spending a lot of time with end of life patients.

Just before my Dad died, we had Marie Curie night nurses at home and they were well able to say 'I don't think it will be tonight' 'he doesn't have long left' and 'you'd best get anyone in the room who wants to be here'.

I’m a nurse and I’ve worked in a service providing end of life care for a while now. I work in the community so we don’t have monitors on at all, but we do look for other signs that death is imminent. Saying that, the honest truth is that you never truly know when death is going to happen until you’re right on the cusp of it, and even then some people take you by surprise.

If there’s anything you’d specifically like to ask please feel free to, but I know there’s a good thread in AMA which has lots of information about end of life care.

Take care of yourself

I'd echo talking to him, hold his hands. Tell him things about your life, things you remember about him, happy times.

I'm sorry OP.

@SunsetSkies11 hold his hand tight and talk to him. Talk about all the good memories you have and how much you love him. X

@SunsetSkies11 firstly, let me say that I am thinking of you OP.

My dad died in July last year, shortly after my first baby was born. It’s horrible to see them like that.

From experience, we were given the news that he was receiving end of life care on 4th July, his birthday. He passed 8 days later on the 12th July.

I am going to go into detail here, so please only read if you feel ready.

I don’t know too much about oxygen levels as dad was at home, however he stopped eating and drinking as he couldn’t hold anything down and my mum would rub a wet sponge on his lips.

His voice gradually lost its strength and became weaker until he couldn’t speak. I would say this was 2 days before his passing.

The day that he passed he had his eyes open but he wasn’t really looking at anything. It was as if he was looking past you. He was unable to communicate at all.

He died peacefully that evening.

I am sending you all of my love and strength at this difficult time. Please feel free to message me if you would like to xx

Oh so sad - sending a virtual hug. My lovely mum took a couple of weeks to slip away even after she stopped eating. Feet and sands getting colder are a sign that it's coming

I'm so sorry. I don't know the answer to your question, but also lost my dad with dementia to a stroke, so just wanted to respond.

The waiting is awful, you don't quite know what to do with yourself do you? I played my dad his favourite music and just held his hand for hours until he peacefully went.

For me, the only relief was that he was free at last from the hideous dementia that had already taken his personality, his humour and his spirit.

Take care of yourself, so sorry.