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Elderly parents
Original poster

Potentially upsetting question about death.

82 replies

Chocchops72 · 08/01/2023 07:30

I’m not sure how to word this so I’m just going to come out with it.

how do frail, elderly people in nursing homes eventually die? When every ‘natural’ cause of death is denied to them?

My MIL is 85, aged advanced Parkinson’s, dementia and osteoporosis. She is immobile, very frail, doubly incontinent. Any time she is ill, a dr is called - most recently for a chest infection where she was prescribed antibiotics. Is this what happens now? She is just kept alive (existing) at all costs?

i don’t have much experience of the end of life, I don’t know how it happens.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 08/01/2023 07:40

Surely antibiotics for a chest infection would be palliative care, not keeping her alive. The chest infection wouldn’t be her demise so antibiotics given to make her comfortable?

Emanresu9 · 08/01/2023 07:38

I agree with you, it's an enormous moral problem. Personally I wouldn't keep a pet alive like that let alone a beloved family member. I believe your husband as next of kin can withdraw treatment and it would be the kindest thing

Mehmeh22 · 08/01/2023 07:38

Was going to say.....

You probably can have a DNR if you have legal powers.

KangarooKenny · 08/01/2023 07:37

Have a word with the home about end of life care.

autumn1610 · 08/01/2023 07:37

Sorry just to add they were her advocate as such legally as she had dementia and they were allowed to make decisions for her

autumn1610 · 08/01/2023 07:36

I think you can request for them not to be treated I know my dad did that with my grandma

Mehmeh22 · 08/01/2023 07:36

You'll know if she's coming to the end because she will not be able to eat, if she has dementia. At that stage, they tend to just keep them hydrated but not feed them because they have lost the function to eat. Its a HORRIBLE disease, having seen my grandmother go through it. But slow death usually happens when they go off food and only want very cold things like icecream or ice cold water.

Sorry for all this though. It is horrible

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