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Elderly parents

Hand hold

52 replies

strokefil · 07/12/2022 23:20

Wise MN I have NC for this thread. Probably need a bit of a hand hold too if that's allowed.

FIL in his 70's was admitted to hospital yesterday afternoon and we had it confirmed that evening he had suffered a severe LHS stroke. He was treated within the golden hour with the clot buster treatment which we were grateful for given the current wait times at the local A&E's (he was taken to closest to incident hospital rather than transported to his 'home' hospital) which is a 45min car journey each way along with having to taxi MIL too as she doesn't know the way. I've already suggested that DH he gets her to drive tomorrow so she learns the route.

They've since done more tests and have added atrial fibrillation to his diagnosis. His speech is unaffected however he it is very scrambled.

They've also told us today that they can't do anything further at the moment and it's a watch and wait situation as any further treatment just now could cause another stroke or a heart attack. If he manages to rehab in some form they've prepared us that he will most likely need a wheelchair for mobility and need adaptations at home.

He is NBM and has a NG tube / fluids at the moment as he doesn't have a safe swallow reflex. He has had B&B accidents, I'm surprised they haven't catheterised him?

I have no idea how to support DH with this. He is in bits. My dad passed away from a catastrophic heart attack so I've never had to deal with the aftermath of a parent being unwell.

I'm trying to stay positive and hang onto the hope however I know it's going to be a very long and difficult time ahead.

We have also found out our IVF round has been successful (4 weeks) so trying to manage that too as don't want to tell anyone about our 🫘 🧬 before 12 weeks at least in case things go awry.

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 08/12/2022 08:15

Oh and it might be just a little early for DMIL to drive today, she's likely to be in shock still Flowers

PritiPatelsMaker · 08/12/2022 08:14

Huge congratulations on the IVF @strokefil

Watching and waiting is awful, we were in a very similar position with my DGM, who incidentally did recover almost fully.

I think all that you can do for your DH so early on is anything practical, like making sure he's fed and has snacks for the Hospital and to listen.

It's likely that once DFIL is discharged from Hospital he will either go to a Rehab Ward or a Care Home for a few weeks. I would encourage this if you can as they often get physio to make them stronger for the transition to home.

Do keep posting as well, the experienced MNers in this section can help you navigate each stage from talking to the Doctors and Discharge Clerk, to organising an OT visit and applying for Attendance Allowance once he's home Flowers