Long story short, my dad died earlier this year. My mum and dad were together for over 60 years. I am in my late twenties (adopted) and I am a first time mum with a young baby.
I am struggling. I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown at times. My mental health is fragile and I am on antidepressants for OCD.
My mum relies on my sister a lot to go shopping, doctors appointments, the vets etc as my mum doesn’t drive. My sister wasn’t working for some time due to an injury but she is due to start a new job soon and will be working from 11-3.
I am trying to encourage my mum to join groups for social activities, she won’t saying it’s not her thing.
My sister and I have been sorting out mums finances, council tax, broadband and tv etc as it was all in dads name. I feel like every time I visit my mum; usually at least twice a week, she asks me to do something/ sorry something out. I absolutely love my mum, but finding it more and more difficult.
I am so worried my mum will depend on me more when my sister starts work and I don’t know how I’ll cope. I feel like as I’m adopted I’ve always “owed” them and often feel guilty.
When I have tried to explain things to my mum she gets defensive and upset and tells me not to start. For example, I don’t trust her dog and I don’t want the dog around my baby. She was telling me that it’s fine and the dog only needs to smell my babies foot. I have said multiple times I don’t want her around my baby and she seems to disregard my boundary setting.
This year has been a rollercoaster. I just don’t know what to do with myself.