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Elderly parents
Original poster

How often do you see your elderly parents?

60 replies

Septemberintherain · 13/11/2022 10:55

Whether they are just elderly or have additional health/care needs, how often do you see them and do you do much to help them out?

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 13/11/2022 11:59

What do they need you for? Is it something that you could get carers in to do?

Original poster
Septemberintherain · 13/11/2022 11:55

I live in the same village as my parents. They are both 80, dad is in good health but my mum has Alzheimer’s.
I pop in and see them at least 4/5 times a week and help them out.
DH’s dad lives 2 miles away (DH lost his mum 2 years ago), FIL is in good health. DH sees him once a week and tells me that I see me parents way too much.
Its difficult because they need me and just being around the corner makes me feel guilty if I don’t see them.

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 13/11/2022 11:18

I'm an hour away and work full time. I go up every 2 weeks to fill mum's pivotell and sort anything that needs sorting, possibly take her out. She has a carer popping in daily just to check she's OK and weekly check the fridge as she forgets how long stuff has been in there and doesn't notice stuff that's rancid or mouldy. Other than that and not knowing what day it is she looks after herself OK and isn't physically frail "just" has dementia.

WhatHaveIFound · 13/11/2022 11:17

I speak to my mum every day and when things aren't manic at work I see my parents every couple of weeks. I know my mum would prefer that I went more often but work has just been so busy this year.

I do all their online purchases and take my disabled dad to his hospital, dentist & doctor's appointments plus I cut his hair too. He has carers twice a day for personal needs.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 13/11/2022 11:16

I visit twice a month and stay 3-4 nights. I’d love to be able to pop in weekly or even a few times a week (they could do with it from a mental health point of view - they are both depressed) but they moved 3 hours away when they retired.

rookiemere · 13/11/2022 11:10

I see my 84 and 89 year old DPs around once every 4 weeks. They live an hour away. If there were health issues or they needed support I'd go more often, but thus far they have been pretty independent.

VerifiedBot2351 · 13/11/2022 11:09

Sadly only a couple of times a year. We are at opposite ends of the country and the cost of hotels for us to visit them is prohibitive. I feel really guilty that I’m not closer to help, but it is how life has panned out.

ApolloandDaphne · 13/11/2022 11:09

I live 20 miles away not 29.

ApolloandDaphne · 13/11/2022 11:08

I see my 82yo DM weekly although this week I am seeing her twice. I love 29 miles from her. I don't really need to help her with anything at the moment. My DB lives close by and probably sees her more and helps her a bit more. My 14yo niece likes to go round and do chores for her gran in exchange for a little pocket money. All in all I think that's enough for the moment but she is very able and independent.

Katyy · 13/11/2022 11:06

Hi. I see my very elderly mum twice a week. She has carers 4 times a day as she is a falls risk due to heart problems. She looks after herself very well mostly, unless she is unwell.
The biggest problem we have is she is very lonely. She would love more visitors.I’m in my sixties, still work part time and look after grandchildren. I find twice a week more than enough. I do her shopping, bills, appointments etc.