Argh... Any one else feel like Cinderella?!

I am Young Carer support worker with the UKs largest Carers charity. I think I understand the definition of what a YC is better than you thanks. Educate yourself and it may increase your empathy.

That was to @hangsangwitch

Given I took that definition from YOUR website, perhaps you could be less condescending?

Well said.

Can you stop derailing the thread @Tipsyturvychocolatemonster ?

Are you and your argumentative friends on this thread MRAs?

Can you get direct payments from your council for your Nan or some kind of care package funded by ss?

Could you get a cleaner once a week just to help lighten the load a bit or a dog walker ? Some charities offer a befriending service for the elderly too

You feel like Cinderella, because - well, you're being treated as Cinderella! You live where you live to serve the needs of another person. Your days revolve around the tasks serving the needs of that other person. It doesn't sound as if you get recognition for what you do - would it have killed your mum to treat you to afternoon tea too? Or did she reinforce all the household tasks waiting for your attention?

OP, how did this state of affairs come about? You say you can't work, is that because you have no time to work due to your time being devoted to your nan's care? If so, how was it decided (and by who) that you would sacrifice your financial independence for others' benefit?

But it does. By every definition used by social care and anyone who works with Carers. Educate yourself, it might make you less judgemental.

You are so WRONG!

"No it’s not. It’s a young person who helps to look after the person."

The Op's son has met whatever criteria her Council has laid out. So not really for you to decide otherwise.

I think the reason social services have names her son as a young carer is because this will enable him to access special support and activities - such as trips out places . This may be helpful for him if his mum and grandma are caring for his great grandma . There is a special charity which works with young carers to give them these extra opportunities. Hopefully this is the case here .

You are so wrong. I am a Support Worker for Young Carers with the UKs largest Carers Support charity. A young carer is any child who lives with someone who has additional needs. This could mean a sibling with a disability, a parent with a serious illness or MH issues, a grandparent with dementia. It is NOT about hands on care necessarily. It is recognised that a child living with someone with additional needs has more school absences, lower educational attainment and can also suffer more from poverty and isolation.

Can you really not comprehend that a child living with a sick grandparent, seeing their mother working hard to care for them is not affected by that? How sad.

the op did say the 8 year old helps

No it’s not. It’s a young person who helps to look after the person.

I think people are just concerned about an 8 year old boy having to help out looking after his great grandparent when there is two adults already doing it . If your mum is getting the allowance could your grandmother live with her giving you free time so you could rest or get a job?
or get part time carers . Sorry must be very difficult.

Thats not relevant. A Young Carer is any child who lives with a family member with additional needs, sibling, parent or grandparent.

A child is defined as a young carer if they live with a family member who needs additional support. They may not do hands on care, but their lives, friendships and education are affected by their caring role. This is recognised by charities and social care professionals.

@MemyselfandI2019 I know that now but not when I first posted (cross post). My opinion is different and I think those who the need the support form carers association etc are different to you son. But as you say that's not up to me or what this thread is about xx

I’m so sorry you are getting such a hard time on here OP you sound lovely

A lot of people on this thread are talking about something they know nothing about! My dss was classed as a young carer as his mum was an alcoholic, it did not mean he was responsible for looking after/caring for her but it was acknowledged he did not have a simple home life. With being a young carer he had access to support and groups and things at school were also put in place so he could leave the classroom etc with his YC lanyard.

Op I'm so sorry you are being questioned. People don't know the reality of living with someone with dementia and the toll it takes on family life.
Big hugs to you all 💙

OP if you are doing the night shift, could your mum do the days and you catch up with sleep whilst your DS is at school?

Why are people deciding on behalf of the Op's council whether or not her son is a carer?

Because they're argumentative dogs with a bone.

Hugs and sympathies OP!

Do you have dreams of a career? Maybe it's time to put Nan in a (hopefully lovely) home and you concentrate on yourself?

Why are people deciding on behalf of the Op's council whether or not her son is a carer?
Have I missed a post where the Op outlined her son's contributions & family circumstances in detail? Has she asked for advice on this?

Fuck sakes.
Op I'm not surprised you are feeling wrung out. Caring responsibilities & being skint tend to go hand in hand unfortunately.
I hope you have a chance to treat yourself whether that's with a peaceful cup of tea, a favourite snack or chat with a friend.