How do dementia patients eventually die?

My dad had what was probably a ‘good’ end to dementia, relatively speaking. Diagnosed in 2019 and went quite quickly downhill in covid, but still living at home at the end of 2021. He woke one morning and was sort of locked in - no reaction to anything. He died three weeks later. They never did really establish what happened, but suspected some kind of angina. I’m angry and sad that he ever went through any kind of dementia, but relieved that he didn’t suffer for a long long time. Lots of hugs and love, op.

Please don’t feel guilty for wishing that @stirling - it’s ok to wish for the best for your loved ones both in life, and in death. It’s the only thing we’re all guaranteed in life and I think we’d all say we’d rather go in the most comfortable and peaceful way possible.

Im so sorry to you all who have posted your experiences on this thread. I have been there myself and feel like to lose your loved one to Alzheimer’s/dementia before losing them physically is the cruelest of things.

My mum died due to aspirating food. Sorry op.

Chest infections. It runs in my family unfortunately, I'm hoping euthanasia comes around before it's my turn.

My friend's husband has had dementia for the last 10 years or so. He has never known. He has gone into a sharp decline recently and is sleeping most of the day and not even awake long enough for a drink. He is comfortable and not in any pain and there are meds ready in case he needs them.

Until covid, he was entertaining everyone with his life stories - sort of like groundhog day where you have the same conversation slightly differently each day. Since then he hasn't remembered much but has been happy and easy entertained, as long as it is within his routine.

Hopefully he will pass away quietly soon 🤞

My DD had pneumonia, he stopped eating and drinking so they sent him to a nursing home where they did end of life care. He came off all drips and still took two weeks to go. Two weeks without water
He wasn't aware of much after a few days. He had repeatedly said he wanted to go, he hated being incontinent etc. Alziemers is a horrible, horrible thing, sorry for anyone going through this.

My grandma died of her underlying heart disease. She'd been in a care home 3 months from when she stopped being able to stand (as in her brain was unable to send messages to her legs). She had dementia almost 10 yrs.

Just as an aside. If the person with alzheimers live alone, the house need not be sold. Consideration could be given to letting it or selling and buying an investment property to let to raise the funds for care. This helps protect some of the capital.

@AStar98 it says usually. Because usually people with alzheimers have or develop comorbidities. Not all do.

Thank you OP for starting this thread. 💐to all of you with loved ones who have died from/with or are currently living with dementia. MIL is 87 & diagnosed just over 1 year ago. In reality I think it probably started quite a few years back.

By the time she received her diagnosis, the consultant said she had moderate dementia. I had been gently saying to DH for at least 18 months prior to diagnosis that I had concerns but I think it was harder for him to acknowledge. She has continence issues & her appetite is noticeably reduced.
She lives in sheltered housing site for over 55's but there's no warden or similar DH is an only child & we live some distance away (& for a variety of reasons, cannot move to be closer too her) FIL died almost 17 years ago so there is no one else on hand who can help out.
Following a fall that put her in hospital & an assessment by social care, we arranged live in care. Social care would only offer 4 calls per day but with us being so far away and her already having had several falls, we wanted to have peace of mind that she wouldn't be on her own and would always have someone to help as well as be company for her.
She has a savings bond specifically set up to pay for care but there's only about 6 months or so of funds left to carry on paying for a live in arrangement. She is still aware enough to insist she wants to remain in her own home & it's breaking our hearts to have to consider putting her into a home but the reality is we will have to start the process of selling her house and are mindful this might not happen quickly. I feel very torn in wanting her dementia to progress quicker so that she isn't cognisant of what's going on but equally mindful, that it's an awful thing to wish for, especially for DH.
Having watched DFIL suffer with brain injury induced dementia for over 5 years, it was a living hell. 😪

Same as many others OP, DF started vomiting something horrible (never found out what that was) but his muscles were so weak he couldn’t clearing so he got pneumonia. It was successfully treated at first but then SALT said his swallow had gone so they stopped treatment and he passed away a few days later from the pneumonia. He was comfortable in hospital and it was after years of decline and he was left unable to really speak, recognise people, keep himself clean etc.

@RosesAndHellebores C+P from livescience.com

Although Alzheimer's disease shortens people's life spans, it is usually not the direct cause of a person's death, according to the Alzheimer's Society, a charity in the United Kingdom for people with dementia. Rather, people die from complications from the illness, such as infections or blood clots.

My MIL died when her brain deteriorated to the point where it could no longer send the messages that her body needed to keep her alive. Right up to the and she was eating well, while showing no other real signs of awareness of anything. It would have been easier all round if she'd stopped eating, as many do.

These posts are so sad to read. You wouldn't allow an animal to suffer like this; when my beloved elderly dog died recently we knew when she had had enough and she was put to sleep peacefully and painlessly, before she lost all her dignity.
I hope the law on assisted dying for humans changes soon.

I have an advance decision in place already and it says that once I lose capacity palliative meds and comfort measures only. No meds for blood pressure, no antibiotics, max pain relief. I don't want my family to watch me waste away without any dignity. I hope you have an advance care plan or ReSPECT in place for her. Hugs.

My grandma stopped eating or drinking much of anything, then had a series of strokes. She slipped away in the end.

My mum was in a care home. The incontinence service provided pads/pants. The staff took them for other patients who needed them but didn't have them provided...so my mother was left mostly unchanged. My dad started counting the pads at every visit, twice a day, but he couldn't stop the thefts. I hope that's not happening to your DM.

Just echoing others and sending a handhold @stirling your mum shouldn't be drenched in urine, how is her skin and has she ever had a continence assessment?

So sorry to hear this OP I was a nurse for years. Generally they stop eating and then die of related complications. Usually chest infections.
Make sure there is a TEP....treatment escalation plan in place. These dictate how the family would like the end to be I.e no resuscitation, no antibiotics or hospital admission and yes to painkillers. That way life cannot be extended for months or years.
I made sure my son was aware of my wishes and I will do mine shortly. I'm 60 and don't want any interventions.

@AStar98it most certainly is a killer unless a different disease intervenes before its end.

It depends on the type of dementia. If Alzheimer’s, it basically eats away at the brain, leaving increasingly larger empty space. If the person doesn’t die due to illness, they end up unable to eat, drink and eventually breathe.

These stories are so sad. With advances in medical care and sanitisation, people are living longer. It is almost as if the body 'outlives' the brain.

I too hope that one day the laws will change to allow people, whilst they are able to have a choice, for degenerative conditions like this.

I’m so sorry. It’s so hard isn’t it💐…

My experience with my aunt aged 85 (and in perfect health apart from dementia) was pneumonia. She passed during the night just before Christmas and it was very peaceful. She said that the room was very bright and the staff went to get help, when they returned she was gone.
My aunt was very happy, she still knew us, had no idea where she was- but she loved her food and the company. It was a lovely nursing home.

Your mum should not be left in her own urine if that’s what is happening…

It’s a terrible disease.

I’m sorry your going through it OP. My Nan died with dementia, spent her last couple of years in a care home, vaguely knew who we were thankfully but she stopped eating and ended up in hospital where she died a couple of days later. She also had bowl cancer and she suffered badly with diverticulitis and had a stoma bag at the end.

We lost my MIL to it last year as well, 4 years in. She wasn’t eating much, she could physically swallow but she couldn’t figure out how to use the knife and fork anymore and FIL was an utter bastard who refused to get carers in for her and barely helped her eat, he would put a plate of food in front of her and walk away. She had what we think was a mild stroke, was in hospital for a week, came home and refused to eat. My SIL said to her, mum if you don’t eat you’ll die and she said I know so it was a conscious decision for her at the end and she lasted a week after coming out of hospital.

She didn’t really know who we were, she kicked my 3 year old who was playing on the floor, kept getting confused with their patterned rug trying to pick things up from it and used to wander round the house and hit out and be verbally aggressive if she got frustrated which is the total opposite of how she was before.

like other posters have said, it felt like she’d gone a long time before she actually did. We were relieved that she’d passed and we’re finally able to mourn loosing who she was not the person she became.