McCarthy and Stone rent or buy?

Hope you get it sorted OP - I know it's taken a weight off my mind knowing that my Aunt has people around her, and a home she can 'manage'. It's made my life easier as well as hers, and we didn't have the distance issue you have - she's gone from 4 miles away from us to 5 miles, so really not significant.

You should know that from our experience it's not her who can't manage the mobile, it that stupid phone that's stopped working again!

Yep. Very well spotted. Failed again!

Name change fail? Are you the OP

She calls me a lot and worries about the smallest things. She is lovely btw but the house is clearly becoming a burden for her. I live 100 miles away and she doesn’t do technology. Has a mobile but doesn’t use it.

She is not going to buy. Will be 5 mins from me if this comes off.

My Aunt (88) recently bought a 6 year old M & S one-bed flat, in a small development next to a lovely little town. She had lived in her 3-bed semi for 60 years, and the only toilet being upstairs was becoming a real problem. We tentatively mentioned a retirement home and she asked me to look into what might be available. The flat she has bought is fabulous - door into the garden, nice communal lounge and in one of the smaller developments.

We know they are not easy to re-sell and also that M & S take 1% of the resale price, but thought these risks were worth taking to give her the best final years possible. The company had a dreadful name years ago, but they've had to get their act together, and have so far been reasonable.

So far, so good.....

Is she coping at home? Does she actually want to move?

At 90, you've left it pretty late to uproot her. Agree with the PP above that it would be a massive upheaval and you might find it has the opposite effect that you are trying to achieve.

I would be wary of buying from McCarthy and Stone

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-10182583/The-retirement-home-scandal-wiping-life-savings.html

www.theguardian.com/money/2019/nov/16/flat-retirement-builder-value-mccarthy-stone

Buying worked well for my in laws. They owned a property (mortgage paid off), and it made much more sense to sell it and buy one of the retirement flats than it would have done to sell their existing property and then pay rent for years which would eat into the money they sold it for. I guess it depends how long they stay there for though.

What has changed that you feel you need to suggest to her she should move when she is 90? If she is managing OK then it is probably better to leave things as they are rather than uproot her. I worked as a SW with the elderly and it was not unusual for such a major upheaval as moving to disrupt the person's well-being to the extent that they went from coping to not coping. Some became confused as nothing was familiar and everything was in a different place. Some simply become depressed and throw in the towel.

Do not underestimate her attachment to her home, even if it might seem impractical to you.

It sounds as though she has all her marbles is mobile indoors and is coping. Is there really a need to suggest to her she move?

There are lots of things that can be done in her own home - a lifeline pendant, aids and adaptations from the LA via their OT - moving should be an absolute last resort. Personally I think it would be wrong to even broach the subject with her. When, and if, things change, or if she brings the idea up in any way then you will have this info ready to hand; but I think you should leave her be. She may be old but she is living her life her way.

Even if we struggle to sell it when she passes away I would not regret it because she is happy there and gets lots of camaraderie from the other residents. Would she not get those benefits by renting?

My 90 year mum is currently living in a McCartney and Stone apartment she bought about 5 years ago (from new) and she loves it. It's been the best thing ever for her. Even if we struggle to sell it when she passes away I would not regret it because she is happy there and gets lots of camaraderie from the other residents.

Chippy take a look at this website: housingcare.org/

That is interesting.

We just wouldn’t want to rent and then have to leave once sold. Having to have viewings etc. Definitely what we don’t want to do.

We rented for my Dad. Incidentally, he's been in his flat for nearly 6 years and it's been on the market the entire time. It's the ex show flat, in the back of the building with a lovely view of the gardens and very quiet so if any flats there did sell it'd be his! It did worry me initially as they only offered a 6 month contract and told us it was for sale... needless worry!

Money is not an issue.

Could I chip in here. Are there any legitimate websites where I can see relevant retirement rentals near me? Not interested in buying as parent is just too old.

I agree with rent. We are being pushed from the rest of the family to move mum (alzheimers) and dad to a retirement home of sorts. We have the LPoA and are digging in by saying no. If they move and dad (very poor physical health) dies either during the process or shortly after then mum will have to go into care and we have a property to shift that we already know wont be going anywhere for a while and with the maint charges it could be a disaster. We could be swayed to rent and this thread has confirmed what we were thinking so thank you all.

Definitely rent. My mum is in similar and it's such a relief to know that maintenance isn't her issue. She no longer wants that responsibility. Also she recently has new carpets put in and needed the doors altering. I was surprised to find it was covered by the maintenance contracts, so no cost to her.
I've heard similar stories of them being a nightmare to sell too.

My friend had to sell her mum's place when she died. It took over two years and she still had to pay all the considerable charges on the retirement flat until it was finally sold.

Was a nightmare for her and caused considerable stress at the time too.

Renting would be a lot less of a problem I think.

I'd rent aswel , I'm saying that as an employee.

Rent

Definitely rent at that age. I was looking into renting when me dad was still relatively independent - doing his own shopping but struggling with cleaning and getting in a mess in with medication. He then had a sudden (almost overnight) decline, on to 3 carers a day and nursing home 3 months later. It’s frightening how quickly needs can change at that age.