Page 21 | Cockroach Cafe 🪳Autumn 2022 🪳

MereDintofPandiculation · 2022-09-25T18:58:44+00:00

Welcome! I’ve taken advantage of the relative quietness recently to have a good “spring” clean. And also install solar panels and get in a good supply of logs for the stove. Come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through. For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So 🪳 mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

Tupperwarelid · 18/12/2022 09:34

@chesterelly1 sorry for your loss and thinking of you x

DahliaMacNamara · 17/12/2022 21:08

So sorry, @chesterelly1 . You've been through so much, and your DF even more.

MissMarplesNiece · 17/12/2022 19:20

So sorry for your loss, @chesterelly1 .

OnthePiste · 17/12/2022 19:08

chesterelly1 · 17/12/2022 14:09

DF passed away this morning. He kept saying he wanted to live and he gave it a bloody good try. 2 different cancers, numerous blood transfusions, 3 hospital stays, chemo, C diff, sepsis all since August. I am glad we are both off this rollercoaster.

So sorry for your loss but glad he is at peace now. Look after yourself ❤

Badger1970 · 17/12/2022 19:01

@chesterelly1 I'm so sorry, take care of yourself

EmmaAgain22 · 17/12/2022 18:13

Sundayscented · 17/12/2022 12:43

Our local Council has a "lifeline" service. The elder wears a pendant and if they fall they press it and the lifeline team will come and pick them up. Dad used it loads and they were very, very good and rapid.

There is no team in my area, or mum's, or her friends. They alert friends and relatives to deal with it. I have honestly never heard of an actual team being in any area, sounds amazing.

Mum5net · 17/12/2022 18:13

@chesterelly1 So sorry. Hope you all get a chance to take things slowly and no more stress for a while.

EmmaAgain22 · 17/12/2022 18:11

chester I am so sorry, I didn't see your post yesterday.

I am horrified he and you had to go through all that. Water too cold. FFS.

May he rest in peace now. Hugs to you

Fantasea · 17/12/2022 17:21

@chesterelly1

thesandwich · 17/12/2022 16:29

@chesterelly1 🌺🌺🌺

Original poster

MereDintofPandiculation · 17/12/2022 16:07

@chesterelly1

OP posts:

Original poster

MereDintofPandiculation · 17/12/2022 16:06

Sundayscented · 17/12/2022 12:43

Our local Council has a "lifeline" service. The elder wears a pendant and if they fall they press it and the lifeline team will come and pick them up. Dad used it loads and they were very, very good and rapid.

For a lot of Councils the way it works is “if they fall they press it and the call handler contacts you to come and pick them up”

OP posts:

PermanentTemporary · 17/12/2022 14:36

Oh @chesterelly1 I'm very sorry. Glad for no more hospital time and horrible treatments and needles and worry, but very sorry that he's died.

funnelfan · 17/12/2022 14:23

chester, I hope you find peace.

chesterelly1 · 17/12/2022 14:09

DF passed away this morning. He kept saying he wanted to live and he gave it a bloody good try. 2 different cancers, numerous blood transfusions, 3 hospital stays, chemo, C diff, sepsis all since August. I am glad we are both off this rollercoaster.

Sundayscented · 17/12/2022 12:43

Our local Council has a "lifeline" service. The elder wears a pendant and if they fall they press it and the lifeline team will come and pick them up. Dad used it loads and they were very, very good and rapid.

EmmaAgain22 · 17/12/2022 10:38

Thanks for the tips on helping someone up

funnel I'm hoping to go the old fashioned way with a massive heart attack or something!

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 17/12/2022 09:19

When my mum fell in her tiny ensuit toilet (mobile home) the paramedics had to drag her out but they said that if she had been at a slightly different angle they would have had to take the wall down.

Original poster

MereDintofPandiculation · 17/12/2022 09:17

I suppose if she falls and is okay, then it's just the figuring out how to get her up again. I think the basic thing is you don’t get her up, she has to get herself up. Basically encourage her on to hands and knees. Bring a chair in front of her, hold it firm for her as she puts her arms on it pushes herself up. Have another chair behind her to sit down. Don’t rush the process.

if she can’t get herself up, you’ll need two trained people. Don’t risk back damage by trying it on your own.

OP posts:

funnelfan · 17/12/2022 08:35

I think it depends on how much strength your mum has, but there are techniques out there for helping to get fallen people back up. One involves bringing a chair to them and they get themselves round in stages using the chair to get themselves to kneeling.

Long decline vs short sharp illness v all the messy alternatives in the middle. I think it all boils down to: Mortality eh, who designed this and thought it was a good idea?

EmmaAgain22 · 17/12/2022 01:00

funnel sounds similar to my mum in terms of age and frailty.

Sadly I think things have changed a lot in 5 years. People are having terrifyingly long waits for falls. The reason mum got an ambulance quickly was because she hit her head, passed out and is on blood thinners.

I worry about her falling again but I suppose if she falls and is okay, then it's just the figuring out how to get her up again.

Jeez. I can't bear the thought of losing my mum but there's a mercy in not having a long decline.

funnelfan · 16/12/2022 23:59

@EmmaAgain22 she called them out simply because he’d fallen and couldn’t move him, even though he wasn’t a big man he was a dead weight when he fell. The emergency services always said that it was exactly the right thing to do. I got the impression that they didn’t mind those kind of calls at all because they were simple, and mum would insist on making them a cuppa and offering them all the biscuits in the house. Dad hated it because he was always afraid they’d insist on taking him to hospital, but the only time they did was when he was clearly having another stroke. This was five years ago now so I’ve no idea if the policies are still the same.

Mum is in her early 80s.

EmmaAgain22 · 16/12/2022 21:14

funnelfan · 16/12/2022 21:05

It is a worry isn’t it. When dad was with us, he would fall (he was wobbly due to stroke) and mum would either have to wake a neighbour or call an ambulance. The paramedics would pick him up, check him over and put him back to bed.

Did she call the ambulance to pick him up or because he'd hit his head?

I do know a couple of neighbours we can call but I'd be reluctant to do it. I suppose if it happens, there's no choice. She uses a zimmer now for night time loo trips but the last fall was a stroke so a zimmer wouldn't stop it.

how old is your mum, if you don't mind me asking?

funnelfan · 16/12/2022 21:05

It is a worry isn’t it. When dad was with us, he would fall (he was wobbly due to stroke) and mum would either have to wake a neighbour or call an ambulance. The paramedics would pick him up, check him over and put him back to bed.

EmmaAgain22 · 16/12/2022 20:31

funnel glad you got some help. Two of mum's falls have been night time loo trips. It worries me, I wouldn't be able to get her up again.