Cockroach Cafe 🪳Autumn 2022 🪳

So sorry for your loss @OnthePiste . Take care of yourself.

@Badger1970 I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how helpless you can feel in that scenario and its awful. I hope some better support is in place for your dad ASAP.

@OnthePiste so sorry for your loss, but it does sound very peaceful in the end. I hope you can take comfort from that

funnel I don't find menopause a hidden topic...nothing seems to be a hidden topic really.

I understand no one wants to seem like they're being unkind about elderly parents but then I wonder if they are able to forget it more easily. I do think there's an element of people valuing family life more than I do as well.

Emma I’m glad this thread is of help. I consider the topic in the same bucket as menopause - seemingly invisible in the general population but if you find the right group of people you suddenly realise it’s a really common issue that lots of people (women) are dealing with. In my case a chance remark after my Pilates class brought out everyone’s elderly parents story - not surprising really as so many people in my class are women in their mid-50s.

Have arrived at mum's after a week of break from her

I think she is behaving oddly, may be anxiety, may be attention seeking.

I understand anxiety as I have been in treatment for years. But it's genuinely hard to tell which it is. Add in the possible effects of stroke and it's really hard to know what's happening.

it's such a relief to be able to vent here. Someone said on another thread there's almost a veil of secrecy around elderly parent problems, I certainly don't feel I can share the frustrations IRL.

@OnthePiste I'm sorry for your loss.

@Badger1970 thinking of you x

Thank you everyone for your kindness. It helps.

@OnthePiste I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss. It's a comfort to know that your Mum went peacefully and I hope you're looking after yourself now

OnthePiste big hugs to you.

@OnthePiste sorry for your loss x
@Badger1970 thinking of you x

So sorry @OnthePiste Hope you get some time for you.
@Fantasea Hope your neighbour didn't overstep at Xmas
@Badger1970 sending hugs

@OnthePiste sorry for your loss, very hard even when you know it's coming Xxx.

@Badger1970 thinking of you Xxx.

@OnthePiste I’m so sorry for your loss 🌺🌺
@Badger1970 thinking of you.

@OnthePiste I'm sorry love, endings are hard even if expected and peaceful.

@OnthePiste @Badger1970 sending best wishes and in particular peace for Badger’s dad for his final days.

My mum is coming home today from her stay in the assessment centre. She’s perked up considerably during her hospital stay and DB and I are glad we blackmailed her in to going to hospital before Christmas. She’s got the standard 4x daily carer package, new home equipment and on a new medication regime and we have a diagnosis for her underlying issues. DB and I have tentatively identified a Plan B if she declines again at home. On the face of it, positive progress, let’s hope we can make it work.

@OnthePiste 💐and hugs.

@Badger1970 What a stressful situation! Sending 'strong and calm' wishes to you.

@OnthePiste sorry for your loss

@OnthePiste thank you for telling us. I hope there's not too much business and that you can rest.

@Badger1970 just hugs. So sorry you're both going through this.

Mum slipped away peacefully yesterday afternoon. I had woken up very early and had a very strong feeling that it would be the day she left us. I got to the hospital first thing and stayed all day. I played her favourite music and talked to her about all our memories as a family. The chaplin came and said some prayers for her which was a comfort, he was a lovely man. I am so glad she is at peace now.

@Badger1970 what an awful situation, I do hope he calms, I would try and have a meeting or phone call with the CH manager so see what they can do to manage your poor dad's care better.

@Badger1970 so sorry you are all going through this

That's just miserable @Badger1970. They took so long to send him, giving mixed signals. Panic is an awful feeling, so wishing you both some peace and calm. Sometimes goodness just appears from the most unlikely places. Peace and calm to @OnthePiste as well.

Badger is it possible he's refusing tablets because he feels unable to swallow?

Is the nursing home equipped to do things like syringe drivers?

sorry for the factual questions, seems essential to get meds to him to ease the path. I really feel for both of you.

I’m so sorry @Badger1970 🌺

Badger1970 This must be so awful for you.
My dad passed away in a side room in hospital with me my husband and my brother by his side.
He was sedated and pain free for which I am forever grateful.

Please push for some medication for him. I’m just so sad for you x

The move to the nursing home has been too much for Dad, he's now bedbound and filling with fluid. He's breathless, scared, and in an unfamiliar environment as are we. I don't think I've ever felt so panic stricken in my entire life. Poor Dad is scared, tearful, horribly confused and really agitated. He is refusing tablets and it depends on the nurse on duty as to his care. Two are lovely, one really really isn't and there's a language barrier with the other. Community palliative care are back on board but they can't visit until Friday.

This isn't where he should be dying