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Elderly parents
Original poster

Not fit to drive…but what to do?

67 replies

Eek3under3 · 12/09/2022 14:53

Family member (mid 80s) is not fit to drive. Medical issue that would automatically mean they are not allowed to drive if declared to dvla, along with total disregard for other road users/ pedestrians.

Lives rurally and relies on car but is (literally) an accident waiting to happen. Multiple people have witnessed them mounting the kerb, parking on junctions/ blocking the road, actions that have caused various other vehicles (including a bus) to swerve into oncoming traffic.

wwyd? Feels like a moral obligation to do something…but what? Has been spoken to a number of times but gets v defensive. Even if they were anonymously reported to dvla I doubt they would stop driving.

help!

OP posts:
Original poster
Eek3under3 · 12/09/2022 16:47

Thank you @KangarooKenny that is very useful.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 12/09/2022 16:47

GP won’t report as it would stop people seeing them, apparently.

Original poster
Eek3under3 · 12/09/2022 16:46

Should have said, I don’t mean to come across as if the socialising is more important than risk to life. That is my main concern and reason we need to act quickly to prevent something happening.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 12/09/2022 16:46

It was a couple of weeks, I was surprised how fast it was.
It was a letter sending them to a certain medical person. It wasn’t far away, quite local. That person told them not to drive while they had tests, and that their insurance would be invalid if they did. That was followed up with a letter informing them that their licence had been removed.
Try and find out their insurer if you can, then you can inform them if they lose their license.

Original poster
Eek3under3 · 12/09/2022 16:42

Thanks for all the comments. Report to dvla is the route I think we will go down. I don’t know why gp hasn’t already done so (but I also didn’t realise they did this).

It will cause a HUGE fallout. They go out 3 times a day in the car for a hobby/ socialising with friends, so the practicalities of food shopping and getting medication are not an issue, but I don’t know how we would get around the other bits. The distances are relatively short so I don’t think a taxi would be keen (they would need to come from the nearest town which is 15 miles away), for what are 5-10 minute journeys.

I think step 1 is an anon dvla report. @KangarooKenny do you know how quickly the respond/ what they actually do? Is it just a letter in the post?

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 12/09/2022 16:33

Report anonymously to DVLA. It works.

thesandwich · 12/09/2022 16:32

Once mil got to a garage, filled up but couldn’t remember how to pay her family contacted the local police pcso who told her she could no longer drive.
can you set up a taxi account/ community transport etc?

bigbluebus · 12/09/2022 16:31

If they have a medical condition which means they're not allowed to drive, why has their GP not already reported it to DVLA?

I think you need to inform the GP and/or DVLA and work on a plan to assist relative in continuing with their day to day activities without their car - eg find details or any community car schemes, numbers of local taxi companies, various delivery services.

tentontobias · 12/09/2022 15:56

I agree with just taking the keys off them. Otherwise there is a risk they'll kill themselves or someone else.

icelolly12 · 12/09/2022 15:46

Can you set up weekly online food shop for them and prescription deliveries etc? What do they currently use the car for?

Cats4life · 12/09/2022 15:44

Remove the keys, imagine if something happened.

Was there not something recently on the news an 82yr old mowed down a cyclist and didnt even see him

bilbodog · 12/09/2022 15:40

When my DF had dementia over 20 years ago we took his car away.

midgetastic · 12/09/2022 15:40

How would you solve the reliance on the car ? You need solutions

forrestgreen · 12/09/2022 15:39

Ask the gp to report the condition to the dvla

MrsWooster · 12/09/2022 15:32

I would contact the doctor and express my concerns.
how rural are they – is there access to a local taxi account or similar which may soften the blow of keeping them mobile?

Knotaknitter · 12/09/2022 15:21

At the very least, report them to the DVLA. You could also contact their doctor with the hope that the doctor spells it out that they shouldn't be driving. It might be better received coming from an authority figure. Maybe then focus on getting the car off the road for the winter in the hope that it never goes back out in the spring. That was my strategy, over the winter it had no tax or insurance and the MOT lapsed and then it was all too much trouble to get it back onto the road.

Driving was the one thing mum and I argued over because she saw it as her freedom but I saw that her perception of the world around her had changed. If you can't recognise the butter in the fridge will you recognise a cyclist at a road junction?

Knittedfairies · 12/09/2022 14:56

My friend removed her dad's car keys (then helped him look for them...)

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