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Elderly parents
Original poster

Struggling to realise,that I can't have a normal chat with my mum

33 replies

bizzey · 13/08/2022 23:42

It is such hard work .
She overtalks me.
Miss hears me ...so makes things up.
I then repeat the correct version...and she say I am having a go at her

Ohhh there is loads more to say

But I just feel I have lost my mum.

I went to her house tonight and it was such hard work.

I couldn't just have a normal chat with her .
She is 83.

OP posts:
Original poster
bizzey · 14/08/2022 00:25

No I agree with @Lentil63

I need a wake up call !
We lost my dad 5 years ago ...and I would have loved to have sat in the garden with him tonight beging ...well him !

I need to know how to deal with this .

I am a very practical,get on with it person .
A fixer.

How do you deal with someone who needs emotional support...when you just can't give it ?

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 14/08/2022 00:17

@Lentil63 that's supremely unfair of you with that guilt trip.

Lentil63 · 14/08/2022 00:16

You haven’t lost her though.
There are no words to describe what I’d do to have one more conversation with my mum. She had dementia and I identify with what you say but please lay aside your frustration. You only have one mum and despite my mum’s advanced dementia I always felt we had a connection.
Treasure these moments.

Original poster
bizzey · 14/08/2022 00:14

She wanted me to water her garden.
We agreed at 7pm.
At 6.30pm I went up to her house.
She had already done it and a next door visitor was helping put the hose away.
She made out she had no help at all to do her garden .
( Don't even go there on the hose pipe ban !! We have not got one YET!)

OP posts:
Original poster
bizzey · 14/08/2022 00:09

I should say...
It is my issue that I am trying to deal with ,not my my mum's issues .

OP posts:
FayeGovan · 14/08/2022 00:08

Yep. Thats why i started the elderly parents section about 11 years ago. Its heartbreaking and i had no one going through similar to share it with. Im sorry @bizzey

Original poster
bizzey · 14/08/2022 00:02

Getting worse over the years,so I know it is not a UTI or other things .

Just felt it so much more tonight.

OP posts:
ked89 · 13/08/2022 23:51

This sounds very tough! Feel for you. Has it been like this for a while now?