What do you wish that your parents has put in place when they were still fit and healthy?

Just a central folder with all the info about accounts, pensions insurances, utility providers, passports etc and any passwords for online stuff. I have it all ready if I die but my relatives dont seem to have it ready in reverse.

Plus a list of any family items of importance.

My father's wishes were like the three day funeral games of a Roman Emperor.

POA is essential but passwords were a big stumbling block as dad had capacity when he died and mum has dementia. She can’t remember her own account details let alone accounts he set up for her. A year after his death I think we’ve finally found everything!
Clear out the clutter! 15 years worth of household accounts stored in no particular order made it difficult to find things like my mums National Insurance number.

My friend who is in her 70s has had similar problems after the death of her husband. Everything was on his computer and she is barely computer literate. It took a lot of unraveling.

My grandmother had mostly filled in this book which my parent have subsequently bought and partially filled in. It basically takes you through all sorts of things to consider - including who needs to be told, where any money is banked, what they would like to happen etc.

I've been writing this message for ages now, so off to read what people have posted in my absence!

Making sure they have a current account. My friend used cash for everything and had a pass book. It took 18 months to sort out a current account, when he had to go into care. It was so stressful that I've still not entirely forgiven him. And he isn't even my parent!

I'm actually doing all this now, I'm getting my house ready to go on the market in the next couple of months so I'm doing a radical declutter. I declutter every few years so it's not too bad but we're moving from two houses into one bungalow so this time it's radical. DP is doing the same at his house, it's a lot of work, I can understand why an older person would be apprehensive about tackling it.

I'm in my 40s but have health problems and so does DP so it makes sense to do this now and get settled into a suitable bungalow while we still working and have options, rather than waiting until we have to move and dealing with this then. We can buy a property now that needs a new kitchen for example, but someone my mothers age is likely to be less keen on tackling bit jobs like that. My MIL struggled to find a bungalow that was ready to move into and in her price range.

All my important paperwork is in one filling box but it's due a sort out, I find it useful to have one place to put things together and it's easier to find, but before I move I'm going to go through it and move everything onto a concertina folder with labels.

Making sure things like utilities are in joint names is something I learned when getting divorced, the last thing you want to be doing when your partner dies or loses capacity is dealing with companies like BT who want to speak to the account holder. I've added DD to things like pets insurance policies.

You should feel no guilt about ordering a very large skip.

To my last post.

Does someone know where to find all the documents they would need to either take over your life from a POA point of view or wrap up your life as an executor?

All utilities bills so you can contact them easily without trying to be a detective of who they are with.

Phone, broadband, mobile company.

All savings accounts including old ones and any bonds and investment accounts. Bank cards so they can't be used fraudulently.

Location of keys. Some people have safes for jewellery or important documents.

Pensions.

Insurances so you know who to contact for house, car etc. For the house if that person dies you can get them to continue to insure the house whilst you deal with the estate/probate.

Also documents like passports, driving licenses, car log book. For things like passports and IDs it is important that you can locate them and destroy them if they are no longer needed as I understand it helps to stop fraudulently use by others.

Wills and hopefully they will have discussed wishes with the executor.

(I didn't have to worry about this for DM) passwords, email accounts etc.

It's amazing how much paperwork there is to deal with either as a POA or an executor. My DM told me about everything which made it so much easier to deal with when she went into a care home under end of life careand then quickly as the executor of her will.

A list of where the money is so you know who to contact
Special family stuff if there's any. Medals etc. anything else special so it doesn't accidentally get chucked out.
Birth and marriage certificates.
Anything they'd like done at their funeral.
I had 12 days with my DDad before he passed - we knew he was dying - and some we knew about, other stuff we didn't. It was a great help.
I know they say you shouldn't do this, but I kept a note of all his passwords so they wouldn't get forgotten.

My mother wrote down her funeral wishes when she was barely 70. The hymns she wanted, specified she didn't want coffin carried.
My sisters would STILL be arguing about the format if she hadn't done this!

My husband has written a guide for our executors/each other
Details assets, including where house deeds are kept.
All bank accounts.
Pension plans, with reference numbers
Contact details for our solicitor, investment manager.
Contact details for all beneficiaries of Will.
Basically everything you need to deal with our estate after our deaths.

Also ask them what music / songs / flowers / coffin they want. That helps.

Its awful isnt it. I know just how you feel.

My mum died suddenly, before she could be described as elderly. But she had a lot of secret bank accounts and my dad has had to go round all the banks with the death certificate asking if she has an account with them! So simplifying bank accounts etc would be my advice.

If your parents own a business make a decision about what happens when they die. DF was in the antiques trade. We did a few fairs after he died but we had little knowledge or inclination to continue with it and probably sold the stock for a fraction of its worth.
Take photos of valuable jewellery to accompany the will if they are to be divided between various family members.
If their property is a private rental find out who the landlord/agent is. We had a family member living at the far end of the UK who had rented privately for over 50 years. We had one weekend free to clear the house when she went into care and trying to track down her landlord was a nightmare. In the end we redirected the post and cancelled all her standing orders/direct debits and wait for a response.

Going though similar with PIL, both have been put into homes due to health conditions. But there is no PoA, no one can access banks, pay bills, sell the house that needs to be sold to pay for care costs.
I have been telling all my friends to get PoA for parents as this is a nightmare and a costly one.

Had the conversation with my parents this week, they are putting PoA in place next week. I'm dreading any thoughts of sorting out their house. It's full of stuff!
I plan to give my kids POA as soon as it's possible and will have all paperwork sorted.

Try to get her to do it now. My mum was fit and well 2 years ago. As was my stepfather.
We helped my MIL complete her POA by downloading the application on an ipad and completing it with her, then printing the completed thing off which she then went through with a friend of hers that she trusted.

Yes yes yes to POAs in place! I think it should be compulsory for every adult over 40 🤣😂
I’m currently sorting my mum’s estate out, luckily she had a will but unluckily it was poorly written! I’m also dealing with my stepfather who has severe dementia, no POA, no legal Next of Kin, therefore no access to his money, no way of selling mum’s house to help towards his care home fees. It’s a bloody nightmare. They had taken out equity release in joint names so its now solely on his name, but the house was held as tenants in common and he only held 20%, which is less than the ER balance!
My next job is to complete an application to the court of protection for guardianship for him. Luckily he has a will so when he dies everything will be straightforward - fingers crossed.

My dad was amazing when his health started detoriating. He organised all the disability aids in their home, stair lift, riser chairs for both him and mum, wet room, health visitors/hospital appointments, induction loops, walking frames etc in advance of really needing them.

He decluttered the whole house, and his filling system with household, pension, insurance, DLA paperwork, bank statements, warranties, etc was perfect. Contact names for his friends and our extended family. Which meant dealing with all his affairs was straightforward.

He even scanned in all the old family photos and arranged them into albums for us.

My mum is relatively fit and generally has capacity but she's getting a bit forgetful and has a few online security scares lately.
I've gently been getting her to share her accounts and passwords with me and we've spoken about PoA so we'll be doing that in the next couple of years.
She's also got her funeral plan paid for.

I had to sort out my dads paperwork after he passed. It was in a plastic plant pot.
I must admit once I'd organised it all the companies I spoke to had a bereavement line which made it easier to deal with.
I also did probate which isn't too difficult.
My plan is live into a bungalow around 65. I'd like to say spend all my money but no doubt someone will complain I should be making sure I can pay for care if needed.
Condense bank accounts, pick my music and write my own eulogy because it's bloody hard when there is no one left to ask

Paperwork - finding if documents such as passports and driving licence and bus pass.
finding pension/ benefits/national insurance numbers and paperwork. Finding stuff to deal with household bills such as water, electric, gas etc. paperwork related to cars, income from pensions, shares, bank accounts, savings accounts, premium
bonds etc. finding a will if they’ve died. Rental agreements, mortgage documents, land registry and house deeds.

just a few of the things I had to find and sort. @Gwenhwyfar

My mum hopefully won’t die in the next 20 years, but she has done the following to help us when she does:

• paid for her funeral
• wrote a will
• wrote a list of all her bank accounts etc and rough amounts of money
• gave both my brother and I POA
• put all her relevant documents in a safe
• gave us the password to the safe and told us where to find the key

she has also told me she doesn’t want me sitting about grieving and feeling sad. she is ready to die when God decides, she has had a good life and her children have grown up and she has been blessed with grandchildren (who are a pair of “wee shites” apparently as they are both very assertive: but she does adore them)

im still not ready for her to die though and don’t know how ill cope when the day comes.

What does sorting out the paperwork actually mean?

I have a relative[learnt a lot from him], that when his parents had both passed, thought they had put all the paperwork in one place.
Well they had! Except it was missing the house deeds. They were never found.