Can fil be forced into a care home?

It's really hard. Both my DM and my MIL have had dementia.
My DM was very good at seeming to have capacity as she was very good in the moment, but had excellent coping strategies around her memory loss but it only took being with her for maybe half an hour for you to realise she retained virtually nothing. I had to fight unsafe discharge from hospital several times. Health staff are under pressure to move people on. My MIL is still alive and in a care home - dementia and poor mobility, she can't walk unaided but keeps trying. She's had a broken hip since living there.
Is the home your FIL wants to go back to suitable for adapting to make it easier? Everything on one level for example. Would they be able to afford carers if not eligible? DM really does need to stand firm though which is difficult..

We use the discharge to assess pathway, 2-4 weeks NHS funded in a care or nursing home, gives patients chance to settle then another assessment of needs is undertaken and longer term care needs established. The second assessment involves nurses/carers, social workers, relatives and the CCG.

Is there anyway you could get him into a care home for respite or just rehabilitation of some sort
often once someone is in a care home they rarely get back home again

What happened with my dad is mum called an ambulance every time he fell (because she couldn’t get him up by herself) and he was usually taken into hospital so he was in and out constantly, once within a few minutes of being deposited home, until everyone realised it was bloody ridiculous and he was discharged into a care home.

Sounds like fluctuating capacity, I'd ask for decision specific MCA, in my experience patients with that history (dementia/Parkinson's) at best have fluctuating capacity but I'd obviously have to see his noted to make an informed decision. If he was my patient I'd be very worried about him going home and there would be a strong possibility it would be a failed discharge.

@fluffycereal a diagnosis of dementia does not mean that somebody lacks capacity, it depends how severe it is and on a decision by decision basis. An adult is allowed to make unwise choices if they are able to retain information and understand consequences of said choices/actions.

Really this. If he is judged to have capacity then he will be able to return home. However, MIL cannot be forced to care for him. It is best done by her not being there on his return and everyone, especially the ward staff and the social worker, being aware of this. Tell his GP too. If possible, I would get some relevant email addresses and put it very, very clearly, follow up with phone calls.

I'm 24/7 carer for my husband but I'm younger, he does not have dementia and it is my choice. I've seen too many brave older spouses destroy themselves trying to cope, in a way the cared for person would not have wanted in their real personality. Good luck and I'm sorry, horrible situation.

I'm a specialist nurse in the discharge team at a large hospital and employed to make decisions like these in conjunction with SW's a Best Interest Meeting might be required if no resolve can be found. I feel it would be in his best interest to be placed in 24 he care with such high risk of falling. A decision specific MCA (mental capacity assessment) would be needed.

You say he is being 1-1 by a HCA in hospital other wise he gets up alone and falls, is this because he forgets he will fall or just because he chooses to and understands the consequences, ie that he could fracture something. If he is forgetting how can he be deemed to have capacity and be safe at home. If he is choosing to do so but is fully aware of what is going to happen, is he able to verbalise what he would do if he was alone at home and he fell, ie how would he get help (presuming his wife would not be there). If he truly has capacity he cannot be stopped from going to his home but hopefully would agree to a care package. If there is any doubts about capacity then a best interest meeting needs to be arranged by the hospital with relatives and relevant MDT there.

My late DM received continuous care funding under the NHS in similar circumstances - she had dementia and was at severe risk of falling. She actually fell while in hospital and broke her hip, before she was discharged to a nursing home.
(I had a huge row with her SW who was adamant she had capacity and could go back home as that was what she said she wanted. He hadn't read her notes correctly. Or at all, really. )

Aargh carer breakdown not cater

This, and he has a diagnosis of dementia so I would imagine an assessment would find he lacks capacity now.

These are both vulnerable people with needs to be assessed. They cannot disregard FILs wishes. But if MIL is suffering from cater breakdown, and is staying with you or someone else to be cared for herself, this may force a reassessment of FILs needs, as they would then be responsible for returning him to home alone. They may the suggest interim or respite care, in a care home. If it is a good home, take it from there.

MiL needs to go and stay with relatives or elsewhere for a while, and tell whoever it is that there will be nobody at home to look after him.,

The alternative is a 4 times a day care package, but you can almost guarantee that he won’t fall when carers are there. Frail elderly neighbours of ours, one of whom was often falling (we had endless calls for help) now have 2 carers 4 times a day, plus a hospital type bed has been installed downstairs. Something like this might just about be enough.,

It really doesn't sound as if he actually does have capacity. Could you ask for him to be reassessed, taking into account the physical risks he would face in his own home?

I really did not rate the hospital social workers. That's putting it mildly.
Is your Dad's hospital or social services? Maybe MIL also needs some kind of assessment to make it clear that she isn't fit enough to care for him.
Be persistent and keep copies of all contact.

My father ended up going to a care home straight from hospital in the same situation as you describe with Parkinsons disease and a nasty fall. My mum didn't want it although she was struggling and he didn't want it but it was deemed to be in his best interests. If the hospital say it's the best thing then also make sure you ask about continuous care funding. I thing that's what it's called but the social worker should know.

Make it VERY clear to the hospital that MIL is not coping at home and is unable to cope with him at home to the point that she is going to go stay with relatives if he returns home.
Hospital will do their absolute best to sort it.

It could happen under an adult welfare situation if they feel he isn’t safe or possibly vulnerable and potentially homeless. Social work would need to prove it along with medical reports. It’s not always down to having mental capacity.