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Elderly parents
Original poster

Mum lost her appetite and has stopped eating

63 replies

Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 19:19

I am just wondering if anyone has any advice?

My mum (in her 80s and lives alone) lost her appetite a week ago and has eaten very little since. For example, today she has eaten half a bowl of cereal and half a banana. She tried to eat a biscuit earlier but said she couldn’t face it. She doesn’t have a bug or anything.

She is on several very strong painkillers (patches) for a broken hip due to osteoporosis. She was on amitryptaline as well but stopped that a couple of days ago. She is also very tired, sleeping a lot and has the shakes (doesn’t normally have a tremor). I called the GP out mid week and they came to visit and said she looked well and was sprightly (she isn’t). Every time I ring she sounds weaker. I am scared she is going to have a fall or lose consciousness or something. I am two hrs away and can’t visit more than once or twice a week.

She is currently having people in from SS for 15 mins morning and evening to check she has got up / gone to bed alright, but this service stops in a week. I don’t know what to do - it’s like she’s given up on life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 21:20

Yes she has SparklingLime . We arranged that when hospital discharged her. They said they could only offer this 6 week rehab package then we’d have to find carers etc if further help was needed. When she broke her other hip, they came and fitted another stair rail and gave her some mobility aids. She has one of those buttons for emergencies on a string round her neck.

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AnneBrontesaurus · 03/04/2022 21:19

One thing that helped with my mum's appetite was when I sat and ate with her so it was social as well as fuel. Can you get any help from a charity or employ someone locally to spend time with her?

I feel for you as I only see my aunt once a month due to distance and she eats the bare minimum in spite of carers' visits. The only time she ate well was at my mum's funeral!

Leah2005 · 03/04/2022 21:18

Please get her painkillers checked. I was convinced my df had given up because he couldn't go out. When they were changed it was like the difference between night and day.

Notwashingup · 03/04/2022 21:18

Friend is a home carer. She leaves small plates out for her clients with small tasty things on to tempt them. A couple of squares of chocolate, ritz crackers, berries, cubes of cheese etc, I always thought it was a good idea. Hopefully it’s just a side-effect of her medicine.

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 21:15

I don’t think she is constipated - she takes Movicol to counteract the effects of the painkillers.

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SparklingLime · 03/04/2022 21:13

Has she has a full social services needs assessment now that she is home? I think this would be more in depth than the one done to allow her home from hospital.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 21:12

Urine checked a couple of days ago - all clear. She was on the amitriptyline for 3 weeks, GP advised to stop due to drowsiness and loss of appetite.

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jalopy · 03/04/2022 21:10

The painkillers might be causing constipation. That would affect her appetite.

hayley013 · 03/04/2022 21:09

Has she been taking the Amitriptyline long? I take a small dose of 50mg a day for nerve pain and if i miss one night, I feel really awful by the next afternoon, no appetite being the worst

bellac11 · 03/04/2022 21:05

Urine infection?

Also my mum is on ensure and mirtazipine for depression although doesnt seem to be improving her mood but is making her eat at least

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 21:03

That’s interesting about the red plates - thanks Leah2005

@user1471453601 yes, that is what my gut is saying. I think she is just giving up. She was just regaining her independence after getting over the last broken hip. She had started seeing people again after 2 years. Now she is back to square one. She is religious and would probably see dying as a release. She was never overweight, but now she is definitely under weight.

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Ilikewinter · 03/04/2022 21:02

user1471453601 , this happened with my MIL aswell, used to be a size 14/16 and was less than 6 stone when she passed, it was a shock to see her so thin.
OP, i would recommend trying to see if you can get carers to visit

user1471453601 · 03/04/2022 20:52

@Zippsbuttonsvelcro, this sounds so much like my Mum before she died. She fancies nothing to eat and however much we tried to persuade her, threaten her, ect, nothing g worked. Three years or so before this she wore size 16 clothes,by the time she died, she weighed under six stones.

We tried fortysips but she wouldn't drink them. But she did have issues with her bowels and ended up having a large chuck of them removed.
She took antidepressants for a week, but didn't like them.
I hate to say this, but I now think Mum was ready to die. So she did.

Leah2005 · 03/04/2022 20:47

I also spoke with a dementia specialist at work the other day and we were talking about appetite in the elderly. She recommended that food is put on red plates as it's the colour the brain processes best in later life and helps to spark recognition around food. Use ribena in drinks, tomato ketchup in food.

Leah2005 · 03/04/2022 20:43

My df (age 85) fell and broke his pelvis in November. He was taking codeine for the pain and ate and drank very very little. I was convinced he was going to slowly drift away. His painkillers were changed in February as Dr didn't want him on codeine as it is addictive. He put him on paracetamol and the change within a week was astounding. He was back to walking and then drove his car after a fortnight. It was the painkillers that were stopping his appetite, they messed up his bowel which further put him off eating. He was living life in a complete daze. I would read up on the painkiller your DM has and see if changing it might help.

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:38

Agree it’s more about calories now (ironically, she has eaten healthily her whole life).

Thank you for the link LargeProsecco. I am going to read that now.

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Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:35

@HeddaGarbled

I think the care needs increasing, possibly temporarily, possibly permanently. 30 minute visits would give them enough time to give her something to eat. Tell social services she’s not eating.
I think you are right. I have been contacting care agencies with this in mind. The team she is under with SS is supposed to be a rehab team who are just supposed to watch while you care for yourself. They only come in for 6 weeks then you are on your own.
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LostForWords2021 · 03/04/2022 20:33

It might be worth talking to the go again for a low dose of AD.

Yoghurt, custard, fizzy drinks, hot chocolate plus the above. It's more about calories than nutrition at this stage, isn't it?

Maybe talk to ss and see if a more robust care package can be put in place or pay for private care?

LargeProsecco · 03/04/2022 20:32

www.bda.uk.com/resource/malnutrition.html#:~:text=When%20someone%20has%20a%20poor,for%20people%20who%20are%20malnourished.

Here's some information which might help.

It doesn't sound like she is eating & drinking enough & is at risk of being readmitted to hospital.

HeddaGarbled · 03/04/2022 20:28

I think the care needs increasing, possibly temporarily, possibly permanently. 30 minute visits would give them enough time to give her something to eat. Tell social services she’s not eating.

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:27

@moonbedazzled

Could you arrange to have some nice hot meals delivered to her to tempt her appetite? Nothing she has to cook herself, but something that are already hot so she all she has to do is eat.
We have talked about this but she doesn’t fancy anything at all. She has an abundance of prepared meals, snacks, fruit and biscuits in the house. She just doesn’t want any of it. I have tried to explain the consequences of not eating and told her just to try and have a small snack every couple of hours, but she could even face the idea of a digestive biscuit earlier. Today she told me she has stopped drinking tea and has just been having hot water. I told her to go back on tea as it least it has milk and sugar in it.
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rosiebl · 03/04/2022 20:23

I think I would gently suggest again that going to your sisters with her own room and en suite might be a nice little 'holiday' for her?

Original poster
Zippsbuttonsvelcro · 03/04/2022 20:21

She was only on the amitryptaline for about 3 weeks. Just had one before bed at night. She discontinued two days ago, but they helped her sleep for the first time in weeks. I have been on them before too (short term) and found they made me very drowsy so stopped taking them.

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moonbedazzled · 03/04/2022 20:19

Could you arrange to have some nice hot meals delivered to her to tempt her appetite? Nothing she has to cook herself, but something that are already hot so she all she has to do is eat.

TakingTheLowRoad · 03/04/2022 20:17

That is worrying. How long was she taking amitriptyline? I found the side effects (loss of appetite, tremors etc) very bad. It took me six months tapering to get off them