My lovely mum has died and I feel nothing.

It's normal in my experience. I lost my lovely dad unexpectedly in February and barely cried at all. It sounds an awful thing to say,but I cried more when my horses have died than when my dad died,but it's true.
It hasn't hit me yet. I've been so busy sorting everything out since he died,every lunchtime,weekend and evening is pretty much taken up with it,that I haven't had time to process it. I think that my brain knows that until everything is resolved,I can't afford to lose focus and truly mourn him. The pain runs too deep at the moment for me to cry.
OP and Bloodywhitecat I'm thinking of you both.

I think it’s normal. It took me ages to feel anything when my DF died. I think it’s shock tbh . I don’t think I even cried at his funeral. I remember feeling removed from everything and very very tired though.
Then months later I woke up in the night, in floods of tears and sobbed my heart out . It was kind of a relief to start feeling grief.

We have just had my mum's funeral (1st July) her passing came as a huge shock. I got the worst phone call ever from the hospital saying my mum had passed. I have shed many tears since her passing and funeral. Like you I now feel nothing. I talk about my mum to my friends and how she passed. I now feel like nothing has happened as though Im going to see her soon and that she's away on a holiday or something. Surely this isn't normal :(

Quite normal. My much-loved mother died with me at her bedside, two years ago, and TBH I haven't really cried at all. I feel like the grief is seeping through at geological speed, one droplet at a time.

When you think about it, bereavement grief is a complex emotion. What is it for, evolutionarily speaking?
Love for your children helps them grow to adulthood and pass on (your) genes, anger and fear can galvanize you towards fight or flight when danger threatens.
But grief? What does it do for us, exactly?
I've heard it argued that it persuades fellow members of the group that your attachments are strong and you'll be helpful as a friend or ally... but surely they see how you behave to others when they're alive, which is more direct evidence?
So, grief is a bit of a random punt on behalf of Mother Nature - let's try having this new class of emotions and see where it leads - and that, I think, is why it doesn't always manifest in an expected or understandable way. Maybe Mother Nature teamed up with your subconscious and said,
"She's cared for her mum right up until the end, people saw her do it, I think we can skip the crying option, what do you think?"
But of course they don't bother to send a memo to our consciousness, so we end up sitting dry eyed and self conscious at the bloody funeral, wondering whether there's something wrong with us, worrying that we've turned into some sort of unfeeling monster!
OP I sympathize, but as with a lot of things, as long as you do the appropriate thing, it doesn't much matter what you feel. Just KOKO and - take care of yourself.

Firstly I’m so sorry for your loss

Definitely normal. When I was a kid my Great Nanna did everything for my mum, me and my two siblings to have nice things. My mum was a young single mum on benefits and really struggling a lot and my Great Nanna sent us on holiday twice a year, bought our coats and uniforms for school all so my mum could heat the house and put food on the table for us. She would never see us go without and would say she’d rather pay for us to go have a week in the sun than sit home with her money waiting to go to her ungrateful kids (my grandmother and great uncles) when she finally passes away. I absolutely adored her and she was truly the most significant happy memory of my childhood. I found it really hard to cope with when she got sick, I was only 13 at the time but I refused to believe that she was going to be gone for good. When my mum phoned me to tell me she had passed away I said okay and hung up the phone. I just sat there and couldn’t muster an emotion even if I tried. In the two weeks leading up to her funeral I didn’t cry, didn’t leave my room, didn’t speak to anyone. It really was my first ever experience of being completely and utterly numb. I didn’t cry until her funeral. I cry to think about it now and I remember trying my absolute hardest to sing the hymns but all I could do was have a complete and utter breakdown to the point that my grandad had to take me to the back of the church to calm me down. It was like it all just stayed locked away until that exact moment we walked into the church.

Totally normal, just let you mind and body do what it has to do, grief finds it's own path for everyone.

How you grieve and what you feel is how you should grieve and how you should feel. There are no rules and no right ways to deal with your loss.

To have a good death is the greatest thing anyone can hope for, being with her to the end binds the love you have. She will always be with you.

OP I am so very sorry for your loss.

However you feel is "normal". Don't worry about how you "should" feel. Just be hugely kind and forgiving of yourself and however you feel and take good care of yourself

I didn’t cry at my Dad’s funeral, I held it together , talked to people, basically kept going , and then when I got into the car to go home (a long drive) I cried and cried and couldn’t stop.
I found similar with my Mum. I was also with her when she died and I had focused on caring for her and not going to pieces. I found that the grief hit me in waves. It is normal to feel numb and blank at first, you will feel different things as time passes. Look after yourself and treat yourself gently, looking back the first year can be a bit of a blur and you are vulnerable . Anniversaries and Christmas can be a painful time. It is a huge thing to go through , I am so sorry OP.

I think when somebody has lived a long life, it can sometimes feel that they completed everything they needed to do, and that everything they had to give was passed on.

That doesn’t mean there will be no grief at all and that they won’t be missed, but it does make their death easier to accept, and the loss less painful.

When my grandmother died I felt enormous relief. When my mother died I literally collapsed. Our reactions vary so much depending upon the circumstances surrounding the death and our own situation at the time.

Be prepared for your grief to evolve. It isn’t a static thing. It will get better and worse

Oh, I'm so sorry
I won't bang on about my dad's death but you feel how you feel, it's fine. Ignore any perceived "shoulds" or theories. Everyone is different.

Some people cry, I'm a relentless bloody crier and I wish I wasn't. Others say it's good to cry.

I think you do you. If you want to do normal things, if you want to do a bunch of admin, if you want to batch cook, go for a run...just do what you need to do.

I am with mouthful in that the love doesn't run out. It still has power after the person has gone.

And here's some polite online stranger love for another vase

I think it is normal. I remember feeling sad but not heartbroken when my dad died. I went to work and carried on as normal. It hits me in small doses.

Yes this is really normal. You need time to process what's happened and your head to work through it. If it makes you feel any better it took a good week or so for the grief to hit me after my dad died. I felt numb to start with and then it hit me, and I cried a lot. And then it got easier, with days of sadness thrown in amongst other days that were fine. Even now, 7 years later, I'll still have a wave of grief wash over me when I come across something I know my dad would have been interested in or that we would have discussed but I now can't do with him.

It's normal. Shock and coping can have that affect. Grief comes in waves.

I grieved before my Mum died and then was numb when it happened until later.

Op so sorry for the loss of your Mum. . I lost my darling mum six weeks ago and I didn't cry much the week she died, just on and off and second week I too felt numb, nothing. I think it's kind of disbelief. Hardly cried until the funeral then after that, last week, it just hit me. I started my own post just before mum died and the support I received was fabulous. Can't believe MN could he so lovely.

Just take it a day at a time. There seems to be no right or wrong way to grieve. Just let your body do what it wants.

RIP to your mum, she sounded like a great person and you an amazing daughter.

Completely normal, my DH died at the weekend and I am numb yet carrying on as normal. I know, at some point, it will hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'm sure it is. We all deal with things differently and at different times. You may suddenly find yourself feeling emotional or crying on a walk, or in the car, in the supermarket, or anywhere out of the blue. Or you may not cry for months. Right now your body is doing what it needs to get by and possibly just to get through the funeral stage. It doesn't mean anything, right or wrong. If the numbness still persists later on, just talking about your mum with a close friend might help - she sounds lovely and you must have shared so many good experiences and memories.

I think it's normal, you are probably still in shock. My lovely mum died eight months ago and I felt very similar to you, I didn't cry very much and I was worried that I wasnt grieving "properly".
Everyone grieves differently and I find that eight months on, the grief can unexpectedly overcome me like a tidal wave out of nowhere, much more intense than after she first died.
Look after yourself, rest as much as you can

You might find the funeral is your trigger point . After the death of a loved one There is so much do so and organise . The funeral can made it real / final .
Sorry for your loss.

Yes it's normal. Go easy on yourself and allow your feelings as they come. Very sorry for your sad loss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I felt the same and it lasted for a while. My mum was amazing and I was with her at the end. She had a short illness (only 66) but she was in no doubt about how much we loved her and I still feel like the love from her hasn’t ‘run out’ if that makes sense. Your mum sounds so lovely and I send lots of love.