Moving to Assisted Living/ Retirement Village Flat

My parents live in one of the extracare retirement villages. They bought their place but there is a big mix of rented and bought I think. They absolutely love it and it is a bit like the Thursday Murder Club! There are big charges each week but then it covers all the bills. They are so happy there it's been worth it.

[quote Cameleongirl]@Choux That sounds ideal, I'm so glad your parents have found such a nice place to live. The restaurant would be a bonus for my Dad, they have Meals on Wheel and can still cook themselves, but he doesn't enjoy it!

@PermanentTemporary I don't think it's really that Dad doesn't like people coming in, it's the house and garden itself that worries him. He doesn't want to take responsibility for anything anymore, despite having a cleaner and gardener. He wants to be looked after! My SM's health is worse than his now so she really can't share the mental load, IYSWIM.

I don't fully understand why he feels this way, but he's elderly and unwell, so I just want him to be happy.[/quote]
Maybe he could upgrade from a cleaner to a home help . My mum has a combination of a cleaner plus a home help who comes in to help cook /shop/ take her out. It works very well.

My friends who have parents who have moved to retirement flats have loved it and wished they'd done it sooner.

That's good to hear @Porridgeislife - and totally makes sense. The planning has given my Aunt a new lease of life (and me more grey hairs!), but she's excited to move somewhere that she can make new friends, and where some lovely shops/cafes are a hundred metres away.

M & S - I understand - charge 1% of the sale fee which goes into a sinking fund for the development. I think that's fair enough, if you know upfront. We are buying this re-sale through an independent agent, although I can see that M & S have a couple of re-sales on the same site, and the prices seems to be significantly higher. I suppose if they have someone paying the service charge until the property is sold, it's no issue to them, and I suspect they're also protecting the prices of the new development down the road.

No specific recommendations but there’s good evidence from “older” markets (Australia and US) that retirement villages keep people out of £££ care homes for much longer as the accommodation is so much better suited to their stage of life, and they are much less socially isolated which contributes to decline.

As others have echoed, some of the flashy developers are very greedy with their fees and I would avoid situations where you need to pay a huge exit fee, service charges AND to pay the developer/operator to sell once your relative moves out of the unit.

So with my Aunt having made the decision to move, we looked in detail at nearby 'villages' - two that would be suitable - and the one village has two McCarthy & Stone developments.

The one is new build - pretty glam, massive resident's lounge and bistro, 24 hour care and a huge service charge. She was totally overwhelmed by it - although it quite appealed to me!

The second is around five years old, much smaller, and there is a lovely GF flat available - lovely, bright and sunny - and her offer has been accepted. All happened so quickly! Much 'softer' resident's lounge - but lovely and well kept. No 24 hour on site presence - just office hours - but emergency pull contact, and she's very happy.

So the hard work begins! Toby jugs anyone?

Look carefully at how the finances work. Especially charges for care and what point they become “
Too much to stay here “ as it’s not a care / nursing facility.

This move is easy. The next one won’t be.

Also when they do have to leave / die how do you sell the flat. On the whole it’s a bit like static caravans - you sell through the building company and get little bsbk PLUS the service charge continues when the flat is empty

@BlondeDogLady That sounds fantastic! Just looked and sadly none near us. Brilliant that your Dad is so happy though.

www.extracare.org.uk/?

My Dad moved in to one of these Extra Care Villages in 2020. It is lovely. It's very modern. On site, there is a restaurant, a ballroom for shows, a carvery, a bar, a gym, and a little shop for provisions. He has made lots of friends to drink with and watch whatever shows are on.
Each flat has it's own front door, and is self contained. The kitchens and bathrooms are super modern. He has a huge balcony to sit on in the summer. There are red pull cords in every room, in case he has a fall (he's not that unsteady tho). Every morning, he needs to call a number by 11am, to "check in" - if he doesn't do this, a person is at his door to check he is okay.

He has a cleaner once a week, and I do his Asda shop on-line for him (I am not local to him - he wanted to stay in his home town, and luckily this care facility was nearby).

He half owns his flat and rents the other half. When he dies, the facility buy the flat back, you don't have to "sell" it yourself. The facility does most of the paperwork and they work with a solicitor who specialises in this type of property.

There are several Villages in the UK. Thoroughly recommend.

Oh that sounds much more likely to be successful than my Mum's experience. Best of luck, I hope they find somewhere nice.

Buy in services for them, if they can afford, less hassle than moving

So pleased to find this thread!

My Aunt is in her late 80's, very independent and still driving. But looking ahead, we both feel that it would be sensible for her to live in a home on one level. Also, when she stops driving, she will need to be near some shops or at least on a bus route.

I have a feeling that we'll look, and then she'll decide to stay where she is. Her neighbours are great and would help in an emergency, but are not the 'pop in to check her out every day' type - and why should they be!

So my plan is to look at the options of flats and retirement complexes, let her see some options and take it from there.

Thank you for the advice on slow re-sale/service charge - that's obviously something to be aware of.

My parents in their 80s live in a rented 2 bed extra care apartment owned by this company. www.housing21.org.uk

They have been there almost 4 years. They moved there as my dad was in declining health and wanted to have more support around. There are lovely managers during regular office hours plus carers in the building 24/7 for planned care appointments and they go to any flat if the emergency cord is pulled.

On-site there is a restaurant, hairdresser, church, residents lounges, plus small garden with benches outside. They younger fitter residents and the mgrs organise social activities - coffee mornings, bingo, afternoon teas, singers with a buffet or hot supper. The vicar of the church organises occasional minibus trips to tourist spots within about 20 miles of the development. I thank my lucky stars every day they live there.

I worried when mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's that they would say she might need to move but they told us it was a home for life. When she started to wander a bit, they put a sensor on the door which alerts the carers if it is opened in the middle of the night so they can go and find her. The one thing I know does mean they say you may need to move to a residential home is if you are at risk of falling.

It's not in an expensive part of the country so maybe some cost more but my parents fully self fund and it's about £170 a week rent plus council tax and electricity. Hot water and heating are included in the rent. Previously they owned a house - the building is about 10 years old and well maintained so dad likes not having a constant list of jobs to do.

Just a quick one re the service charges if you buy the property - check what the situation is if the flat is vacant. I've had a few friends now whose own parents have passed away and we're unable to sell the retirement properties very quickly. They still had to pay the full service charge each month out of the estate until the property sold, and there was barely any inheritance left in the end. It was heartbreaking for one of my friends, as she knew her DM would never have signed up for that had she known that was a risk.

DH grandma lived in one for 4.5 years and it was great for her, she was a council tenant though so rented. A relative of a friend of mine also lived in one, hers was purchased though. She passed away 12 months ago though and they are having real trouble selling it though despite it being in a good area. I would rent rather than purchase unless you know you will have no problems selling on.

needing residential care at all (I know in MN land it's virtually inevitable but actually I think it's about 15% of over 80s live in a care home) The two aren’t incompatible. If everyone spent 1 in 6 of their over-80 years in care, then at any point in time 15% of them would be in care.

I’ve read elsewhere that 1 in 3 need care some time in their lifetime, and of course some people spend a good deal more than 1/6 of their over 80 years in care.

Renting is working ok for us so far but we found a lot of the rentals were the older properties quite dated or extremely overpriced newer properties which cost as much as a london penthouse! They are also often very small with little or no storage. If your parents have lots of possessions it can be hard to get rid of things. Rightmove is your friend here as you can search by retirement home on the filters. Look at prices for sold properties as well to get some idea of what's happening in their area to prices.

Having read Richard Osmans "The Thursday Murder Club", I can wait to move into one myself!!

Definitely go and have a look at a few. They are better to move before they 'need' to whilst they can adapt to a new way of life.

We found for MIL that there were limited options for rentals and that this is mostly due to restrictions on leases preventing owners from renting rather than an actual shortage of vacant properties. We considered buying but were very wary after reading/hearing nightmare stories.

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-10182583/The-retirement-home-scandal-wiping-life-savings.html

Some retirement homes have service charges as high as £800 pm and that has left the owners with little chance of selling as the service charges put people off.

Look carefully and you can find some better value resales on the retirement market with better lease terms. But you then may have to be willing to refit kitchen bathrooms etc. It does also depend on location.

Many retirement homes are very overpriced and simply don't retain their value as there is always so much competition from yet more new build retirement homes being built by developers taking advantage of cash rich older people happily downsizing. Remember that even after death the service charges will still be due so if it takes a long time to sell (very likely) the service charge must still be paid.

Its such a a shame because there are great benefits for elderly people having the security and company living in retirement homes. I would say do lots of research, try and find a nice resale property or well priced rental. Use rightmove and see what is resale values are like and also if you visit, talk to the residents. We found that people were lovely and friendly and often in the communal areas there would be somebody happy to talk about what was good/bad about living there.

I wonder what it is about 'people coming in' that your dad dislikes. If they end up needing support there will be 'people coming in' anywhere. My mum hated having the warden on site because she felt like she was being watched - which tbh she kind of was... my mum also hated that people in the development would say hello to her... but she is the most antisocial private person in the world.

Mum moved to a light touch supported living flat - there was a warden on site in the mornings and a handyman available who would do as much gardening as you wanted, but no other support. Ground floor 2 bed flat. It was the most spacious of any we looked at, most were frankly miniature and poorly built. One had a longer walk indoors from the front door to the flat door than my mum had from her door to the local supermarket, and was north facing and horrible to boot. This particular development is very posh and sells easily for high prices. Not all do.

The bad side is the service charge of 5k a year, which is a lot on my mum's income, and mostly that my mum hated it from day 1. I think if your parents are in their 80s don't get too invested in this move because they may well never find the 'perfect place' and tbh they're right, as it doesn't exist. Don't force the move if they're not fully ready to go. If your Dad gets in a tizzy about a heating issue he will find a move unbearably stressful. Could they pay more for some kind of appliance service or house maintenance contract?? No real idea if this exists!

Re rental Vs buying, buying was def the right choice for us as mum was sure it was going to be her long term home and she was relatively young when she moved in albeit in poor health so the possibility of renting for 10 years + seemed financially less sensible than buying and having the asset available, but like I say you do need to do your homework thoroughly on the terms of the lease, service charges and how resale works if going down that route. Rental does give more flexibility although do think about whether they def have enough capital to fund rent and bills for the rest of their lives or if not whether their pensions +/- any benefits would cover it. My mum's scheme is pretty popular and no-one seems to have any issue selling when they move on and there is a longer waiting list for the rented/social housing flats than the owned ones but obviously this will vary place to place so you'll need to find out if that's the case at the places local to you, also what controls there are on rent increases, I think for the HA owned ones it's similar to social housing and highly controlled but private facilities may reserve the right to jack up the rent significantly each year so watch out for that.

Re future planning, I would highly recommend looking at a place that has 'extra care' available as a 'step up' or that has evidence of successfully supporting residents that have higher care needs (likely to be the more expensive but possibly less swanky places that fund a high level of management presence over and above things like swimming pools), some also have a linked care/residential home on-site although TBH if one or other of them ends needs up needing residential care I'd want the flexibility of choosing the right home for them at that time rather than feeling tied to the on-site one. That being said many many people do manage well in their own flats with care coming in especially in a suitable sheltered housing set up and with the support a retirement community offers, and don't end up needing residential care at all (I know in MN land it's virtually inevitable but actually I think it's about 15% of over 80s live in a care home) so IMO it's more important to make a plan to keep them happy and healthy at home than to worry too much about planning for care home eventualities...