Why do we (as a society) do this?

The advance of medicine is marvelous but also cruel as it does prolong the suffering. It's awful to witness.
Sending hand squeezes and deep breaths to carry on 💐

@Zoopet

I'm so sorry to hear what your mum (and you) are going through.

I've had similar experiences of witnessing family members decline, and for that reason I've decided that were I ever on that path, I'd go to Dignitas.

The option to end your life with dignity at a time of your choosing, should be available for anyone who can give informed consent.

Hopefully it'll never come to that, our family history is such that the body seems to give out before the mind so I'm just hoping it'll never be an issue

Have you watched the film 'The Father' with Anthony Hopkins. He won an Oscar for it I think. It's absolutely heartbreaking. About a man with dementia. I don't want to be alive if I get it, or if I'm so infirm I need to be hoisted. It's inhumane and pointless.

It's not just Parkinsons and care homes either. My nan had gruesome ulcers, for decades. They stank, they were agony. She became housebound, then double incontinent. She still had her marbles and sometimes was able to enjoy aspects of life but the indignity and pain and boredom really wore her down, and my poor mum who filled in for the "care" provided. When the pain became too much, she was put on morphine. She would hallucinate and get very paranoid. She was trapped in her home, and my mum felt she had no choice but to quit her part time job to care for her. It scarred my childhood and ruined my mum's life, although my mum put up with all kinds of awful behaviour with very little complaint. She did pray an awful lot.

My nan was taken into hospital a few time, eventually she stayed - for several months. For some reason the NHS decided forcibly feed her and medicate her, which was extremely upsetting to watch as she tried to fight them off. She just wanted to die, I believe. They said she was too out of it on morphine to know what she wanted or needed.

It was an utterly horrific experience and it scared me and my mum witless. Pray to God when I'm old I escape that fate. My mum, bless her, died of a brain aneurysm. Very quick. I would take my mum's sudden demise over decades of suffering with almost no quality of life, any day.

I don't know why we treat older people this way. I think there's a theory that any life is better than no life, and that we should preserve life because there's a chance people might get better, or new drugs make life worth living again. I think there should be more choice, as some people really don't want to go through that amount of pain and misery with no end in sight.

I agree too. My work takes me into nursing homes. Many of the residents I have known for years and I know their younger selves would be horrified. I have reservations about euthanasia because I fear families would put pressure on their relatives to save nursing home fees. I would believe anything of families now even though tye majority are loving and caring
Most of the residents are being kept alive on a cocktail of drugs and, as long as they get some pleasure or have some quality of life, I think it is money well spent. Once they have no life left I think we are forcing a long, slow death on them with the nursing home owners being the only ones to benefit

Totally agree, once someone's mind has gone, what's the point? Who'd want to live like that? And it's so painful for the family.

Unfortunately, by that point it would be too late to consent to euthanasia so it's very difficult. There definitely needs to be some progress in this area, as many say, you wouldn't put a dog through it, it'd be "inhumane".

My mum's told me to bump her off before putting her in a care home! I'm not sure of the practicalities of that request however

I'm so sorry for you. It is an awful situation to be in.

I'm so sorry. It's so hard. It is truly awful.

I completely agree. Euthanasia should be available. We wouldn't let a dog suffer the way we allow humans to suffer.