Cockroach Cafe - come and try our new sunroom

It's bloody annoying, Opal.
I wouldn't so much mind the random crap if it was healthy random crap, but it seems deliberately malevolent to try and encourage your grandchild to overeat or put your son in law in hospital.

What it /feels/ like is that because she is a substance abuser, she wants /us/ to become substance abusers.

Am pretty sure that no one is that malevolent and it's just me being grumpy, but I'm wary of it.

You are there to fulfil whatever need she has, such as accepting crap from her with enthusiastic thanks to make her feel better.

Love your tree Opal - mine doesn't show so well in photos being in a dark room, otherwise I'd share!
I'm not actually self-isolating, I might add, we're all fine. It's just easier than explaining to staff who don't need to know why I'm making their job harder!
I think the thing that particularly gives me the rage is that DH has acquired a food allergy - possibly as a result of Covid over the summer - and there is something in preserved food (sulphites? maybe?) that gives him asthma attacks. So tinned things are off the agenda. He almost ended up in hospital a few weeks ago.
Random shit from the shops? Almost all, tinned and packet foods, likely to trigger an asthma attack.
She told DS he was getting a tummy the other week, so she bought a ton of junk snacks for him. (Which have all gone in the bin, which I hate doing, but they're not even nice things that we could donate to the food bank - they are nasty, cheap things without any nutritional value. 15p bags of onion rings crisps, kind of thing.)
She doesn't buy anything at all for me because I won't take it, but then I'm a graceless bitch.
I dunno, it's almost as if she doesn't think we're actual real people....

Do what you're doing...put those boundaries in place and stick to them.

Our tree

Merry Christmas 🎄

Oh @MrsRussell of course it's your fault. This is the Bad Daughter's room after all. Isolation is a must and the hospital can sort her out. I do hope that it doesn't spoil Christmas for you.

Evening all. Had my third jab yesterday so haven't got out of my pyjamas today, but going to the beach tomorrow.
Probably no surprise to learn that mother is drinking AGAIN. It's my fault this time apparently because when I went round to mend her TV - which was doing the "no signal" thing - she'd bought a pile of random weird stuff from the shop for us (think tubes of coriander puree and tinned olives, that level of weird) and I looked at it and said, "You've been drinking haven't you?"
So my fault, because I called her on it. I made her feel guilty, apparently, and I'm a bitch and I'm cold and I don't make her feel loved.

We were supposed to be going shopping on Monday to buy my Christmas present. This will also no doubt become a pity party when she ends up in hospital (AGAIN) but it will be "I couldn't even buy her a Christmas present!" rather than "I chose to drink vodka to the point where I was lying in my own shit for days too drunk to get to the toilet, rather than buy her a Christmas present"

I will lay a pound to short odds that the hospital will ring me on Christmas Eve wanting me to pick her up. I shall be self-isolating, sadly, and unavailable and very unfortunately now she isn't going to be able to come for Christmas dinner because we've asked one of our friends who's going to be on his own instead.

I am bloody RAGING.

I imagine my mum would want to be resuscitated even if it meant hooking her up to a monster truck with jump leads.

We had more arm related drama last night but touch wood it looks a bit better today and the infection site seems to be improving too.

We also have an appointment to look at our local Abbeyfield in the new year.

My dad has a Respect form from his last hospital admission that says DNAR and no critical care.

What you said about the DNR made me think: I know my mother does not want to be resuscitated, in fact she really does not want to be here any more and would be very happy to just die in her sleep or have a sudden cardiac arrest. If I turned up at her house one morning and found her dead in bed, I would be sad, but glad that she got the death she wanted.

But in other circumstances, I wonder how hard it would be to insist that any paramedics or doctors (or even well-meaning first aiders) did not to try to resuscitate her? I have LPA for health and welfare and I am very aware of her wishes.

Spoke to a doctor on mum's ward this morning. No real information on how she is. He asked when she was formally diagnosed with dementia. Well never. She's been in and out of hospital for years and it has always been taken as fact that she has dementia. I was pressed on why I thought this... well because.. everything.. flummoxed. Going in to see her later

@freshcarnation What an evening! I hope things settle back down into what passes for normal and you never have to go through that again.

Oh my goodness fresh. Hope you get a bit of rest for the next day or two?

OMG, what a day for you all - @freshcarnation @MintyCedric @Opal8
Sending you all hugs 🤗

Thanks Minty. Banging headache today due to lack of sleep and all the drama. It occurred to us that mum has a DNAR yet the 999 operator was telling me to start chest compressions when she wasn't breathing. I didn't think to question it, but suppose It would have been best to say no retrospectively. Anyway. She did start breathing again, so irrelevant really.

Blimey freshcarnation

Hope you're bearing up OK after all that. What a nightmare.

Hello all, had a long night last night with mum. Her carer rang at 5 to say she was unresponsive in her chair. Went round and unable to wake her. Rang an ambulance and whilst on the phone she stopped breathing. We managed to drag her onto the floor and she started breathing again. Still unconscious. Ambulance came super quick and she was stirring but not talking. We suspected a stroke and I went in the ambulance with her. Massive backlog of ambulances at hospital and the doctors and consultants were visiting the ambulances to see the patients in situ. After a few hours I said I'd go home as there was no change and still in the ambulance. Gave mum a kiss and she opened her eyes and said 'goodnight dear see you tomorrow'!!!

Assumed she must have had a TIA and be recovering. This morning doctor from hospital rang and said no sign of recent stroke on scan and all tests normal so far. Big mystery. She's been kept in.

It was OK actually. A bit stuffed though. Mum was quiet as usual but seemed to enjoy it.

Glad you're OK sandwich hope the appt goes well.

Opal I hope this is one of those occasions when you're dreading something but it ends up being fun.

I have just called mum who is still obsessing over her arm.

Not content with what she has been told by a paramedic practitioner, 3 GPs and the orthopaedics dept at the hospital in the last week, she has had a phone consultation with a private GP this morning who was completely flummoxed but suggested A & E ' as they can investigate more thoroughly than the OOH GP' (who I'm sure would have sent her on Saturday had she thought it necessary).

She's then taken herself down to the pharmacist who's advised that just a small tweak in her blood thinners may well fix it. This is exactly what we are waiting to hear from the surgery about, so she has chased them up and is waiting for a call back.

I am currently under a blanket with a aromatherapy candle on, some classical music and a log fire courtesy of YouTube, mentally sticking my fingers in my ears and doing 'lalala I'm not listening' whilst wondering if it's too early for a glass of wine.