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Mum was on good form this evening

This morning even...

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere

That sounds so lovely.

We're home now. Mum was on good form this evening and now we're back and I'm decompressing am feeling a bit more positive.

Tbf I'm the foodie and like being in charge of all that so although someone else washing up would've been nice I enjoyed most of that and probably wouldn't have let anyone else in the kitchen anyway.

We all had a lovely afternoon nap followed by Strictly, The Wheel and all the cheese and a cracking game of Cards Against Humanity which mum is scarily good at.

It was never going to be perfect this year and initial whinge aside it wasn't too bad really.

I took the opportunity to drop some of the traditions that meant a lot to mum, she didn't even like sprouts and never had room for the Christmas pudding but we had to have them. This year they have joined the bread sauce and the stockings on the list of things I used to do but now don't. I can't believe I used to do two different stuffings, three veg and two different potatoes. It's a much easier meal now I'm not plating up things we don't eat.

This time last year I was on my knees after trying to get the NHS to do something about mum's likely UTI and watching the weight drop off her as she forgot to eat. Looking back I can't believe what I coped with back then.

I am wondering whether the sainted brother has called in to see MIL, he's had a three month absence and even she's running out of excuses for him.

DS took me to see mum yesterday morning. She hasn't seen him for 18 months. As soon as she came in I told her he was there so she didn't need to try and remember who it was. She was so happy to see him. She kept repeating "I am in shock! I am in shock!" She held his hand and smiled at him the whole time.

When my uncle visited her on Christmas Eve she asked him to take her presents home to keep them safe so I was afraid she would do the same for us. I bought her new slippers and she was thrilled with them. She was also really pleased with the sequin cushion and, a last minute idea, a sequin slap band which I said was a bracelet. She isn't at the stage of needing a fiddle muff but she liked stroking the bracelet and seeing the contrast between the colours of the sequins.

There were only 6 of us for lunch and it was lovely. I had no idea that Christmas could be relaxing.

Mum was at my sisters Xmas eve evening
Then here yesterday afternoon
No idea when my brother will grace her with his presence 🙄

We had a much better day than I’d anticipated. Got dm here, after 2months of not leaving the house. Dd was a superstar, wheeled dm home via some fab Christmas light displays.
Happy Boxing Day all.

We had a really lovely day. DM came for lunch and stayed until DH dropped her off with my brother at 5. I’ll pop up to hers with some leftovers around lunch time. We had some games in the afternoon(charades etc) and she joined in.
I usually prefer Boxing Day though. No pressure, lots of leftovers and time to play/read/try out presents.

Nice start to the day at home with DD and the cats, then round to mums where I did everything all day apart from Mum making a coffee at about 8pm.

Having asked her not to mention L, she raced to show me the chocs he'd given her before even asking how I was, and continued to mention him multiple times over the course of the day. Christmas Dinner conversation included a monologue on the inadequacy on the men on her widows dating website.

Luckily the bulk of the L convo was directed at my best mate while I was cooking so I just shut myself in the kitchen and cranked up the Michael Buble.

We're still here...plotting our escape.

Had a nice day yesterday 🎄
Dc very grateful for their gifts, dh loves his Head torch 🤣 I got some nice gifts too
Mum came for lunch and then we played some games
Pretty chilled day
Dh and dc are going to pils later - I'm not. I no longer chose to spend time with my mil after her behaviour in the summer.
So I'll go for a walk and go and see mum
Hope everyone's OK

Happy Christmas everyone.
So glad it's over for another year.
Always an endurance test!

Christmas moments to all of us. I've done the day out from the nursing home with dm. So exhausted I ache all over. 4 hours' driving. It was great, I'm really happy I did it and now I get to collapse into a bath.

Staff member at the home who mum clearly adores - my God she likes men - said briskly 'now you've done it you can do it again' and I just wanted to lamp him.

I can relate to that Mere, I have high frequency hearing loss and if I’m in a crowd of more than three often find it easier to zone out. DM really struggles with her hearing aids (doesn’t help that she keeps fiddling with them).

I hope everyone has as peaceful a Christmas as is possible at the moment.

Re elderlies withdrawing from socialising I think that is common at a certain point, it's one of the advantages of DM's care home that company is built in, even if not always the idealised company she would like. I have often found myself acting as DM's social proxy and still do to an extent, I have written cards carefully to all ex-neighbours who keep an eye on her house and all social club friends she met post DF's death (she had none before) so she at least gets cards - and when I am allowed to meet the other residents finally post pandemic regime I will put some effort into being charming.

I am stationed in DM's old home near her care home for a month, not the most enchanted Christmas ever but it's fine and it's finite (i.e. I won't have to do it for ever because my remotely-located job will end, hurrah, not hurrying DM's demise) Her topic of conversation today was wanting to purchase a memorial at a local burial ground, very Christmassy.

Enjoy your holidays, your cosy Christmases, celebration of wrangling your oldies into some sort of festive mood or relief at not having to deal with them this Xmas, wherever you are right now.

🪳 Merry Cockroaches!

We made it to Finland. We decided to just do a driveway present swap with ILs on the way to our pre flight test and not go in. Bloody good job wedding, FIL had a positive lateral flow 2 days later. Sent off his PCR today so goodness knows when he will get the result. He feels fine and MIL is still negative though.

I would feel a bit uncomfortable with used swabs around even though, as you say they were probably negative.

When I saw mum earlier this week we were in the hallway with a Perspex screen but when my uncle saw her this afternoon she was in the dining room as normal.

She sent back the chocolates and cushion he gave her because she has nowhere to keep them. I am not expecting her to want to keep my presents for her either but I have to try.

My son is visiting with me tomorrow. He hasn't seen her for 18 months and I'm afraid it will be quite a shock to him.

I know exactly what you mean about the hollow feeling afterwards. That's a great way to describe it.

Words Yes, to probably being sort staffed... I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. They may easily have been a person down and once you were with your DM, the person may have gone back and tidied. Granted, not the best, but the stuff to complain about is when they appear hungry or thirsty or are wearing dirty clothes.
It is a struggle visiting. My DSis absolutely dreads it

Went to see DM this afternoon to take her to the cemetery to visit Dad’s grave but she was really poorly- shivering in her dressing gown in front of the fire. Managed to speak to her GP who thinks it is probably a UTI and prescribed antibiotics. She’s meant to be coming here for lunch tomorrow and to my brothers for tea but I can’t see her being well enough. We’re only a mile apart so I can easily pop up to see her. My brother is going to visit this evening so I’ll get an update then.

Just back from the care home visit. I took some flowers and a card. She seemed pleased to see me but it's hard to know what to say really. Had that familiar, empty feeling I get after most interactions with her since leaving home decades ago. Then felt guilty. She is a demented frail old lady after all.

Some quick advice. Visits are held in a dedicated room and we are told only four a day permitted. I arrived at the appointed time to see another family still in the room. When eventually I was allowed through to do my lateral flow, the table was strewn with used swabs and other testing paraphernalia. I thought this was a bit much to be honest, although presumably they were all negative!

I thought about writing to the manager about it but I don't want to get the staff into trouble, and it hasn't happened before. I expect they are short staffed, especially on Xmas Eve.

However, if the staffing ratios are resulting in that sort of slip up, then perhaps the management should be aware. The home has recently changed hands.

Should I leave it or not?

Double cockroaches all round.

🪳 🪳
happy Christmas everyone! Thank you for your friendship and humour.xx

Merry Christmas to you all. Managed to get mum home last night from hospital (without any medication or discharge notes etc)but at least she's home

Here's a picture of our tree this year - the lemon tree at the side of our balcony. Seasons greetings all x