I have an elderly relative B (in her 90s) who recently phoned another relative C to say her husband D (also in his 90s) has been bullying her, and has on two occasions hit her.
B and D have been married for 70 years so not a new relationship. I asked C whether she believes B as B had a stroke 10 years ago and can become muddled/confused. She said she can’t be certain but it wouldn’t surprise her (she knows the couple better than I do, and for longer).
B and D are currently living in an assisted living flat but really need 24 hour care in a proper nursing home. We have tried many times to help them move to one, showed them around several places etc and at first they agree but then back out. When I say ‘they’, it’s generally D making the decisions as he is more mentally capable than she is. Their plans are all over the place and they change their minds every month or two on what they would like to do going forwards.
I would be grateful for any advice, I’m very worried about B and must take the allegations seriously but equally D is incredibly elderly/frail (more so than she is physically) so I don’t know what to think.
Thanks in advance.