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Original poster

Power of attorney and spending money

108 replies

Siriisatwat · 19/11/2021 19:17

Hi,

I’m in a bit of a state at the mo, my dad is in hospital. He clearly has some form of dementia but so far hasn’t been assessed (he lived 3 hours from me until I brought him to stay here a few weeks ago so I could help him).

He’s had quite a rapid decline over the last week.

He’s only got two changes of clothes with him. I cannot afford the petrol or time to do a six hour round trip to pick him up more. And to be honest, he’s lost a lot a weight in the last few months so all his clothes are hanging off him and he doesn’t like spending money so all those now too
big clothes are years old.

I’ve been trying to take him shopping but he will not spend a penny, he’s always been tight. I finally managed to get him to buy some t shirts last week but the next day he made me return them as he wanted his money back.

I have power of attorney and I have his wallet here.

Would I be able to go and buy him some clothes with his card?

I don’t have the money myself to get any for him so that’s not an option, I would have to
use his account.

OP posts:
Original poster
Siriisatwat · 19/11/2021 19:38

It’s going to be the same when I have be to book a moving van too. But his stuff just has to get moved to the place he’s bought here.

Christ, I didn’t think i’d find this all so overwhelming. I feel like i’m drowning.

So i’ll keep all receipts together for clothes/toiletries and moving costs.

OP posts:
BeyondMyWits · 19/11/2021 19:37

If going into respite (from experience) also buy a sharpie and write his name or initials inside EVERYTHING he wears or takes with him.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/11/2021 19:35

If he needs clothes and you have P of A, I really don’t see why not. My Fil (with dementia) was like this - hanging on to awful old holey jumpers and worn out shoes etc. forever.

TBH I’d make sure some of them have an ‘accident’ - ripped or scorched or shrunk, and then get a bit tough, telling him they had to be replaced - (having first binned them).
We had to do this sort of thing with FiL.

BeyondMyWits · 19/11/2021 19:34

Yes, you can spend his money so long as it is in his best interests for his benefit. You must keep records though. That is part of your duty as a POA.

Blahdyblahbla · 19/11/2021 19:31

Yes you can absolutely buy him some clothes. If he's going into care I'd go for something inexpensive, and jogging type trousers with a tie waist.
Big hugs for you lovely xx

Original poster
Siriisatwat · 19/11/2021 19:29

I mean, I will keep all receipts etc just incase.

But he’s going to go into respite care until the house he is in the process of buying near me completes (in all honesty, I think he will have to go into residential care Sad).

But the few clothes he has with him are hair awful, huge and old.

OP posts:
Original poster
Siriisatwat · 19/11/2021 19:26

Yes, he’s always told me his pins incase something happened to him.

OP posts:
2020isnotbehaving · 19/11/2021 19:25

Do you know his pin? With POA you can get a bank card form his account but in your name. But this will take to sort. You have to make sure he has clothes and you have POA in force I would use the card if know pin but then get one in own name for future as make things easier