Power of attorney and spending money

Hi OP. My mum has full capacity but is housebound. I took the POA document to the building society yesterday. They scanned it and I can now withdraw money from the branch when needed. I have to show ID at point of withdrawl..
I keep all receipts in a file and will just go in once a month to be reimburse.
Is this something that wound help you too?

I’d steer clear of the question of whether your home is safe for him. It’s irrelevant unless you are willing to take him in, and you are not, and there is no legal requirement that you should do.

Secretly they will understand and sympathise, even while they’re trying guilt trip you into taking him.

God Sirii that's amazing. You've achieved the nearly impossible.

I had a social worker on the phone the other day implying I should give up my job to support my mother who is in an allegedly specialist dementia nursing home, because the home can't manage her behaviour.

At last you have a diagnosis so you and he can access the help he needs in the future, have they carried out a Capacity Assessment to see if he understands and what decisions you may need to make now on his behalf. If they find him a temporary bed they need to have a plan for long term care, maybe you need to rethink the flat he is due to move into if he is going to need residential care. There are various organisatons who might be able to help you.
www.dementiauk.org/get-support/how-we-can-support-you/

It's irrelevant whether they consider your home safe. Even if it was, you don't want him back and will refuse entry. Make that quite clear.
If you did anything before at all for him, anything, washing, shopping, cleaning etc etc state you now withdrawn every aspect of that support. You will do absolutely zero. Take the name of whom you speak to and ask them to document it.

Under the October 2021 Hospital Discharge and Community Support Policy and Operating Model:

"All persons leaving hospital should receive a holistic welfare check[footnote 4] to determine the level of support, including non-clinical factors like their physical, practical, social, psychological and financial needs"
and
"Before discharge a determination must be made about the status and views of any carers who provide care, including that they are willing and able to do so."
and
"For people where new mental health concerns are considered in light of discharge, psychiatric liaison teams should be contacted by case managers in the first instance to review and assess as appropriate."

Hospitals were given a bit of a green light during Covid to discharge people as soon as they no longer needed hospital treatment or care, like your dad, and tout the "Home First" approach where people are discharged back to their home for assessment before long term decisions are made. But this has to be done safely and following all the guidance.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/hospital-discharge-service-policy-and-operating-model/hospital-discharge-service-policy-and-operating-model if you have the strength to scamper through it.

Keep playing hardball. Your dad does not live with you: if they want to discharge him "home" they need to make the appropriate arrangements with his local social services and hospital transport. You are not willing or able to provide the care he will need to stay at yours. Your home is not safe for him (has it been assessed by anyone?). He has already had a failed discharge. He has new mental health needs that require assessment. Etc etc.

In order to discharge him I'd suggest they need to make it Pathway 2 with a discharge to a temporary care home or rehab ward where he can also have an assessment for his dementia.

Good luck, this must be so tough

@Siriisatwat I have just read all your posts on this thread. Happy for you to pm me. I went almost exactly the same with calls to police, convinced he had been burgled, was being watched. He was in his early 60's.

My hearts breaks for you darling xx

Oh and meant to add I got 5 copies of the POA signed and certified by a solicitor as many organisations want the 'original' - came in very useful. Solicitor asked for £10 a document or a donation to their charity, which at the time was dementia Revolution £20 x

I had active POA when my afar started struggling to keep on top of his own finances - so didn't have l to wait for any assessment or deprecation of liberty status.

I think you have to be pragmatic- he needs pants and pjs and some clothes. Go and get some, get on to his bank with the POA (the original or a copy signed by a solicitor as a true copy. A card took a matter of days.

The mental health team for the elderly can assess him if they cannot find any other reason for his acute confusion, at least he will not be getting discharged at the moment. If he is very confused and wearing his own clothes have the ward placed him on a DOLS in case he tries to leave. Just keep telling them he cannot go to your house, it is not his home and say his own house is not safe for him to be on his own, put it in writing.

In the end I would give the social workers phone number to the police, to neighbours or people from the church, just anyone who would phone me with complaints/concerns and ask them to let the social worker know as it would help me. Unfortunately it didn't but heyho I tried.

Are you sure your dad will have capacity to authorise exchange on his sale and purchase? This usually has to be done on the day of exchange even if all the paperwork has already been signed. It all sounds like a giant mess with your own move at the same time. I hope it all goes ok for you all.

It really is. The system is so flawed and if I had £1 for everyone who said, "Just get her in a home." I'd be well off instead of wound up.

Good luck and do let us know how you get on. I would love to hear you have got the help you should have and if you haven't we can at least give you a bit of moral support.