Brief outline: elderly PILs in early 80s. MIL with sight,/mobility problems, had radiotherapy last month for cancer.
FIL who had effectively been her carer during lockdown, suddenly developed a spinal tumour for which he's just started chemo.
So they have plunged from just managing to both ill and needy in space of weeks. But no hospital stays so no care assessment.
They have no help or benefits at all. My SIL who lives close has been helping ad-hoc but it's escalated beyond what she can manage, we are 30mins away & doing what we can. We feel external help is needed but don't know what to ask for. Mostly medical (dressings, pain management, anxiety) but also practical eg shopping, getting to appointments.
These are my questions
- Macmillan helpline said they should have help from community palliative nurse team, can we force GP to refer them? How long does it take?
- is NHS continuing healthcare something different?
- we have got FiL to contact adult social care , what can we expect from them?
- can support be obtained privately eg nurse or carer visits or respite?
- am I even asking the right questions?
We all want to help but me, DH, SIL and BIL still work and have dependent children and none of us has an accessible house. The PILs are so unwell they can't cope with the complexity of decisions or accessing help themselves.
Any pointers on where to start would be massively appreciated.