Cockroach Cafe - newly refurbished for the summer

Thanks for the new thread Dint. Lovely to see the place fitted out for the summer.

I've been trying to catch up on DM's garden as I was concentrating on getting other tasks done, especially while the weather was so grim. But of course it is like painting the Forth Bridge, no sooner is one task finished than another pops up to take its place. I'm so bloody tired.

Hi 👋
Very nice! (Looks around approvingly)
Mum moved into her sheltered flat in October and is the most content she's been since dad died (8 years ago)
It's ground floor, away from the road, short walk to centre of village.
I'm trying to convince her to join my db and family for 4 days on holiday - she usually goes with them for 4 days each year.
The break would be lovely!! for me

How are you feeling @exexpat?

I've found it's hit me harder since the funeral than beforehand.

The places near you for your mum sound lovely...I wish mine could be persuaded to go for something similar but she will overthink and analyse everything to death and never make a decision so I guess we will have to reach a crisis with her physical health for anything to change.

DF's funeral was a couple of days ago, so we are now out of that awful period of limbo, and I have to really get down to tackling all the bureaucratic stuff.

I am also worrying about frail and disabled 84-year-old DM now permanently alone in a huge, fairly isolated and totally unsuitable house, reliant on a stairlift to get to the loo and to bed; the stairlift has been making alarming creaking and grinding noises for a couple of weeks, but the earliest engineer's appointment the company can offer her is three and a half weeks from when she first called, despite charging her several hundred pounds a year for a maintenance contract. I just called and they won't budge. Not impressed.

But (searching for silver linings here) I am hoping that this sort of thing may help me persuade her that now is the time to move into a sheltered flat: there are some absolutely ideal ones near me which are part of larger complex including care and nursing home provision. They are also nearer some of her surviving friends, with accessible bathrooms and kitchens, lunch in the dining room available, a little library, lovely gardens, and best of all, other people around to talk to if she wants, and help on hand 24 hours a day. My father would never have moved there, but I think she might.

Thank you for the new thread Dint

My, this is comfy.

It's a crisis week over at the in-laws's which is probably what the situation needs because without a crisis I doubt that anything will ever change. I suspect that the outcome will be intermediate care, she's medically fit but not safe at home.

Minty mum used to go on about how she never left the house and I listed the shopping trips, library visit, opticians and hearing assessment. She had forgotten all of them, in her mind she never went over the doorstep but it simply was not true.

@MintyCedric
Why is it that the oldies try to guilt trip people ?
Phoned my mil up yesterday who tells me she wished herself dead / will kill herself as she sees no-one . That woman goes out more than me !

Oooh coffee and chocolates...need that after my camping trip.

It was boiling while we set up the tents etc then pissed down for the remaining 48 hours. Couldn't have a campfire and the stove gave up the ghost after one cuppa.

Ultimately though it gave me lots of time to offload and talk with lovely bestie. There were a lot of tears but I think that's a good thing.

Still feeling a bit rough and overwhelmed, hay-fever not helping.

Mum behaved whilst I was away but was sobbing down the phone late last night complaining that's she's terribly lonely. She had a phonecall from one friend and a visit from another on Tuesday and L round yesterday (which I suspect triggered the crying fit), so has hardly been on her own the whole time.

Interesting that she doesn't have a meltdown until I'm round the corner...

Thanks dint love what you’ve done to the place!