Hope this is okay to post here, its my great auntie rather than a parent.
So my great aunties husband died last year, and obviously covid hasn't been a great time for her or anyone else, but she has turned into the most horrible, angry, nasty person. She's in her early 80s and in reasonably good health, has plenty of money, a lovely house, a daughter and grandson and can afford carers to come in twice a day so she is well looked after. But she hates us all and is so nasty. I'm the closest family distance wise so I try to visit twice a week, but she expects to be waited on hand and foot and can be incredibly abusive. For example, she text me at 6.30pm one night to say she was out of milk. I've got 3 kids, I don't drive and my husband has moved out - I was not about to load a baby and a toddler in the pram in the middle of bedtime to get her milk, so I told her I would bring some round as early as possible the following day. I then got maybe 6/7 messages calling me a horrible selfish little brat, saying I dont deserve my lovely life and she hopes it comes crashing down around me, saying I obviously want to see her starve to death so I can have all her money (I'm not even in her will). This is the reaction every time something doesn't go her way. Shes similar with her daughter, constantly sending her horrible texts saying she doesnt visit enough (she lives an hour away and visits weekly plus arranges everything for her eg shopping, carers and phones her twice a day). Tells her she wishes she'd never had her, that her dad would be ashamed of the horrible person she's become, that she's glad her husband left her for another woman etc etc.
She is only like this with us two specifically- she is sweetness and light with everyone else. Her grandson who rarely visits is treated like an actual god, the carers all think shes a sweetheart and extended family the same. She can also be nice as pie with us when she wants something, although she never apologises for anything.
I'm at the point now where I'm absolutely sick of her. I dread going round, I don't like the kids being around her, I'm so so fed up of disturbed sleep from nasty texts in the night and I cant block her because what if she had a fall? Part of me just wants to cut contact but then I'm leaving my poor Auntie to deal with her all on her own, and besides she's an old woman who is lonely and miserable and grieving. But I dont know how much more I can take!
Any suggestions or has anyone experienced similar? Should mention too that she is already on anti depressants and they haven't helped imo but she wont talk to the doctor again.