I live in Ireland, my MIL is 90 and has moderate Alzheimer's type dementia and lives alone.
It's just DH and his brother, and the wives, me and SIL.
I organised medical card, carers who visit twice a day, Cleaner once a week, meals on wheels, Alzheimer's carers, a motorised wheelchair for her. I order her incontinence wear, do her food shopping and lots more.
I'm good at admin!
Today I received 10 calls between Alzheimer's carer, Occupational Therapist, carer and a nursing home. It's not usually this amount but I receive at least 15 calls a week.
I work Monday to Friday and visit MIL every Sunday (50 minutes there and 50 minutes back driving).
That's the background.
Anway, here is my question.
MIL is entitled to 28 days respite (two blocks of two weeks pa) in a nursing home. This was recommended to me by the Alzheimer's carer, I didn't know it was even an option.
It's another form filling exercise. PHN, doctor and us (her family). Then once the form is received it is valid for 6 months.
I asked SIL when they want to avail of the two week respite as I would need to book it in. Her response was MIL doesn't need respite, that she is doing great and it's good to know its there when MIL needs it, maybe in the winter.
I'm going to sound like a bitch but I need a break. I really do. I want two weeks of no phone calls or emails or texts or driving.
I've replied to her saying we can also get 2 weeks during the winter, that respite is not just for the elder but the carers and that I think it would do her the world of good. She is alone at home. So she would have Company. I've saud DH and I are taking two weeks off at x time this summer, No reply!
So, what do you do when you disagree about the care of your elderly parent/MIL?
(DH thinks she should go to a nursing home full time). I want to down tools.