5 hours wait for an ambulance and counting

OMG! All I can say is thank goodness I don't live in the UK. Any time I have called an ambulance - and it was never an emergency - they have arrived within minutes.

I'm sorry to hear about your long wait OP, and am pleased to hear your DM is finally getting help.

Freda, I am so glad that your dm got help in the end and I hope you get some answers soon. Mumsnet attitude to calling ambulances is sometimes utterly baffling. Sudden lack of mobility obviously needs investigating. The NHS should be adequately funded so they can deal with car accidents and other emergencies.

@CustardyCreams

You are deranged.

Being unable to stand or a sudden reduction in movement, when you have previously had the ability to, is absolutely a medical emergency.

Google “cauda equina” for just one example.

Really feel for you op, awful awful situation for you and your lovely mum.
You are so understanding and calm, despite the distress and upset that this has caused you.

You are a very rare find, people are more inclined to be ranting and ripping the situation to pieces, complaining and behaving in a terrible manner towards the paramedics and call handlers.

Be assured that those members of staff will be aware of your length of wait and will be feeling terrible about it, this situation will be occurring frequently and will be one of the very reasons that at least one person on that shift will be contemplating leaving the service. No one goes into this profession thinking that the service that they will be a part of is as awful & stretched as this.
Those poor paramedics will have had an absolutely horrendous shift before getting to you and I’ll bet that they were so lovely and kind that you would have no idea.
So, just a warm virtual hug from me to say thank you for being so lovely.

@Topseyt I don’t think this is right. She isn’t an emergency, as far as we know. She is in pain, but stable.

An emergency is people bleeding out in a car crash, having a serious heart attack right now etc. It is morally wrong to make a noise to get attention when other people have greater need. The services do their best and the answer is to give the information asked for and allow the call handlers to assign ambulances based on objective criteria.

When my mum had a fall and passed out, she came round in agony (later transpired she had smashed her shoulder in many places, right old mess) but she had to wait on a cold floor for just over 4 hours as there were other bigger emergencies to deal with. She wet herself, she had no choice of course as she couldn’t be moved or move herself at all.

The answer is to just pee yourself and then someone brings you a warm blanket. Emergency services are used to it, lack of dignity be damned.

I was awake during the night as read your post.
I am so pleased she is clean and comfortable and on her to hospital. I do hope she improves quickly.
Now see if you can grab some sleep, you can’t pour from an empty jug. Look after yourself.

IAmDaveTheSerialShagger ffs did you even read the OP's original post properly? So sorry your mum is going through this OP, hope ambulance arrives soon. Hang in there.

Totally impossible to change someone's pad in a chair, easier if she was in bed. If you have a second person get in really close to her (so when you stand her shoulder is touching your sternum). She might be able to get up with the assistance of 2 (though realistically much harder in a big recliner chair). When she is standing try and change her pad without moving her away from the chair so if she falls she will only fall as far as the chair.

Lovely to see a family so involved. Horrible that she's had as long to wait. Sadly just the nature of things of weekend evenings.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger I disagree. She can’t move. It’s a serious change and needs evaluation.

With respect it's not the Ambulance Services job to take your mum to the toilet, it's neither life threatening or valid enough reason to even call them.

No advice OP, but just wanted to say what a lovely daughter you are, your mum must be proud of you (although I know if she is in sound mind this will be an embarrassing situation for her) ❤

So sorry to hear about your mum. I would phone again too - it sounds like she’s got worse during the wait and I think they’d want to know?

Have you phoned again to make 100% sure you really are in the system and to absolutely stress how urgent this now is. It isn't impossible that you can drop out of the system or not have been properly logged in it.

Yes, they are busy and often stretched, but you are receiving no service at all. Your mother is ill and her dignity has gone. Changing an incontinence pad or adult nappy on a person who is not able to be self-supporting without proper help and support is a nearly impossible task. Believe me I know. We were there with my Dad earlier this year.

You need greater priority. Personally, I find that it is all too often he who shouts loudest who gets noticed. Make sure you start doing that shouting. You've been forgotten about and left aside. It isn't good enough.

Wheelchair accessible taxi?

@WendyWoofer we have a chair, we have used it all day to ferry her about, my issue now is she can't stand at all so I can't get her into the chair
I 100% accept the ambulance service are stretched, my mum was a nurse for years so fully understand the challenges, this is no criticism, they do a great job with limited resources, I'm just worried for my mum, worried what's wrong, worried she might get covid in hospital

TBH in your position I would ask neighbours to help you get your mother into a car and take her to hospital yourself. I did this when my father went into heart failure and no sign of the ambulance after 2 hours.

If your mother is going to get covid in hospital she will get it whether you transport her or you wait all night for an ambulance to transport her. They won’t put her on a ward with covid patients though.

Hope your mum gets the treatment she needs soon

Can you call back and ask for an update?

What a horrifically stressful time for you both. I went through similar last year. My dad had a kidney stone stuck in his urethra and couldn't pass urine. He was either screaming or unconscious from the pain. He desperately needed to wee but nothing would come out. We waited 2.5 hours for an ambulance. It was so hard seeing him so distressed. I hope the ambulance comes soon and you get some answers for your mum

🤞the ambulance arrives soon.

No advice. I know the ambulance service is pretty much non-existent at the moment. I hope your DM gets seen tonight.

Can you change her pad? If DM is immobile does she have a wheelchair you could use to transport her to a car to travel into hospital? If not can you ask on FB if someone has a wheelchair you can borrow? It’s not ideal but the ambulance service is stretched to capacity at the moment and will prioritise cases. Your DM will be seen much more quickly if you can take her in using private transport.

Hang in there, Freda.