Anyone else get frustrated ?

My Grandma refuses to FaceTime because she thinks it’s creepy Must admit I spat my tea out laughing at that one. She’s more than proficient on her iPad, and my Grandad has always been into the latest tech, but they will NOT FaceTime. Hilarious.

My other Grandma has been a fucking baby her entire life, which has been enabled by every single family member (her 3 out of her 4DC and 11 out of 12 GC), except for me and my Auntie, who said she’s been like it since she was in her 30s.

Let’s not have sweeping remarks of ‘they’re old, it’s too hard’
People in their 70s should be capable of technology, PCs and mobiles have been common since early 90s.
Yes some people are just not comfortable with it, but I suspect many choose not to especially when they have family to ask every bloody question of.

I cant tell you how hard I find it not to ask my family for help when they visit!! I try not to, because I would rather just enjoy their company, and do not want to put them off visiting! But when you have some small thing that you have been dying to get sorted but just cannot physically achieve, it is frustrating to have strong young folk around and not to ask!! I zip my lip mostly!

I can vouch for the fact that you will be in this situation one day and it will arrive at alarming speed!

I think there’s a differnce between elderly people who try their best with online stuff and hit obstacles, and those who refuse to engage at all and selfishly expect others to pick up the pieces.

Surely elderly people wouldn't allow their DC to give up their jobs to look after them. They'd let them do that??! Surely that's what they 'scrimp and save for all their lives' to buy in help?
FIL is not too bad but MIL stubbornly refuses to engage with technology. Won't even try. She believes nothing is as good as the Pears Dictionary. She actually said that!

They sound just like my parents. I'm most worried about what happens with dad die/ (bc I'm sure he'll go first). Mum will be helpless and lonely because she has no friends

It's still your choice to be available as the default person, if you make yourself unavailable they will be forced to engage with technology

How old are they OP?
My parents are 84 (dad with dementia) and 80 (strong willed mum). For the past 15 years I've been trying to get them to engage with technology. It would have helped dad so much.
Mum can grudgingly google so no longer calls me for phone numbers. But I have to do her online shopping
It's frustrating
But not sure you'll change them
One thing I have done (all Apple devices) is set up a family photostream and that has tempted mum to engage.
So maybe start with something fun. Also her grandchildren email her and she can just about manage a reply

Some of my friends have had to give up their job to look after their elderly, frail parents
Surely there are other choices, or are they in a traditional country where there is no welfare system?

No they are perfectly entitled to not be able to cope with this. It's terribly frustrating for them. Dad 84 has a mobile and can just about reply to texts very slowly .. that's ok. He can no longer park in town for the same reason as your parents. He has arthritis and can't manage to push the buttons accurately. He can't see the screen clearly without a magnifying glass (Yes he is still okay to drive). And he has never downloaded an app or uploaded a credit card. I am very sorry for him

I pay for my mums iPhone contract through our business, she has trouble understanding that all her calls from it are "free" (as in, included) and will still use her fuzzy-sounding landline as she thinks that calls from a mobile are "expensive" and she doesn't like to take advantage. I have tried to explain this to her many times.

She will also trek for miles to the nearest bank, to find out her balance rather than look on the app on her phone that I set up for her and that has face recognition.

She does send emails and can Facetime though, but won't use her contactless card as she saw something on TV with Angela Rippon or Gloria Hunniford or someone saying how it will wipe her bank account out. But she often responds to those phishing emails asking for bank details by clicking on a link.

We will be like this one day - you do make it sound like it's a massive inconvenience and that's what makes me sad.

I would never let my parents know about my frustration though, nor do they know the tough time I'm going through at the moment because I don't want to burden them with my problems.

Personally threads like this are a great release for me to vent what I can't say 'in real life'!

I understand where they're coming from. I was brought up when there were only landlines, and not everyone had one - I had friends who could call only from a public phone box. So I and my friends are used to a culture where you make firm plans in advance, you write letters, you have long phone chats. Frequenting texting is alien.

So when I got a smart phone, I used it for things I needed not for things I could do just because I could, so I'm now faced with catching up at a time when younger people have forgotten there might be any problem - it's a bit like not learning to play table tennis or ride a bike when you were a kid. No-one can understand why, as an adult, you can't just buy a bike and get on it.

It's more than just "go to the meter and follow the instructions". As I understand it, you have to first a) make sure you have a way of paying via your mobile b) download a parking app. And you'll be so conscious of other people watching you mess it up, or even just go super slowly.

The pace of change in technology is increasing. Look hard at unnecessary things that youngsters are doing with tech, because the totally unnecessary now will become the vital skills of the future.

I am 72. I used computers in my media profession so have the basics at my fingertips. But there are things that sometimes fox me.....my DD organised for my mobile to work via the internet, as the mobile reception is poor here. I could have done that myself (I google for instructions for various actions) but......I did not know it was a possibility! That is where family comes in handy, as they tend to keep up with innovations.

I do know that my parents struggled dreadfully with all this, because it was not part of their working lives so they did not have the basics as a foundation. It can be frustrating - I remember trying to explain to my 90 year old Dad over the phone (he was deaf!) how to send an email. But using these things can hugely enhance the lives of elderly people, so it is worth the effort to try and explain.

This thread has made me sad and possibly hit a nerve as I lost my Mum this year to Alzheimer's. My Dad is 73 and perfectly 'with it' but all this technology is exhausting and frustrating for him. It's too much for our elders and can be quite depressing for them because it makes them feel stupid. Tbh those parking meters are a bloody pain in the arse!

We will be like this one day - you do make it sound like it's a massive inconvenience and that's what makes me sad.

This will 100% be us in the future.

"Just 3d-app the greezils to my futurespex vr stream! Jeez how hard can it be?"

My dad wrote software for places like the Atomic Weapons Establishment and BAE back in the day but still can't change the clock on his oven - but that's ok because he's got this great oven timer called Alexa

Have you got DC, OP?

Because one day they'll be writing this thread about you. Believe it or not.