My mother was elderly had long term co PD none of my brothers helped I was left to care for her on my own. I had asked one who lived closest for help as I was struggling to be told to wind my neck in and stop playing victim another lied to her only last year about having cancer knowing that she was in final stage of her illness even with they're behaviour they were told when mum passed away and were told a couple of days later when the cremation was and invited. On Monday I told the one who claimed to have cancer that I had found it difficult as I had had the funeral company and minister visit to discuss mums cremation and arrangements that morning I was told so what she had a funeral plan its all paid for I was then reminded she had 5 other sons and I needent bother playing victim he then asks if he could help carry the coffin and I said no maybe it was vindictive on my part but I thought why should he he hadn't been there for her and lied about cancer but now wants to carry the coffin and play dotting son. He then asked if the cremation would be streamed online I said no he asked this as three of our brothers made excuses not to attend cremation and as they knew she had been I'll before dying and made no contact with her I wasn't going out of my way to help them. So this brother who claimed to have cancer then asks for the contact details for funeral director claiming 2 of the brothers who wouldn't be attending cremation wanted to send flowers I foolishly believed him gave him funeral companies details and it turned out he wanted the details so he could go behind my back and ask funeral company if he could carry mums coffin he then gets the ministers details from funeral company contacts minister and starts going on about how mum had six sons not just one and how they were all to be mentioned at service the minister had already been told by myself about her other sons I didn't once say anything negative about them.
Also on the Monday remembering this is only 2 days after my mother passed away the other brother who had refused to help and told me to wind my neck in and stop playing victim when I told him I was struggling says he now wants to help he wanted to come to our home this coming weekend claiming he wanted to make sure all the bills were up to date so I wouldn't get cut off with anything I said that's all fine I'm dealing with that I then get told that wed have to have a discussion regarding mothers estate it then hit me he wanted to come to our home go through paperwork on the pretence of making sure bills were OK when in reality he would be looking for bank statements to check what her finances were and to see if there was a will in the house I just think how can families act like this now I have anxiety about going to cremation as these two 'brothers' will be there and I don't want anymore drama