What when it's our turn?

I like reading accounts of 'good' deaths. They give me hope. My friend's elderly mother lived with her for a few years, no illness just general frailty, and she was happy and content. One Sunday my friend made her a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea in bed. When she went to collect the plate and cup and her mother said "that was a lovely sandwich love". Friend left her in bed for a few minutes, came back and she'd passed away peacefully. A shock for my friend but a great way to go.

member how brilliant. My own ma died out in garden having a coffee and cigarette doing a sudoku before a very busy day she had planned. Great age. Still up to all sorts. Perfect ending. Although awful shock for all of us.

I will be signing a dnr around 75/80 for sure

My grandmother lived to be 96 and was living alone until she died. She reached up to get something, gave a little cry, and fell to the ground. My aunt, who was with her at the time, said she was dead before the ambulance arrived. That was back in the 1970s and they did not have todays technology then. But what a wonderful way to die.

I feel the same after being with my mum and witnessing her decline over the last few years, especially her last year, where her quality of life was life was almost nonexistent - I completed an advanced directive, and have declined antibiotics if I have dementia for example. You can be really specific. Tbh though I was going to leave a copy at my GP, but was worried that if I got Covid they wouldn't treat me, so I've kept hold of it... compassionindying.org.uk/making-decisions-and-planning-your-care/scotland/advance-directives/make-advance-directive/

Im 77 and have enough medication hidden away to kill me 10 times over. The idea of ending up in a care(less) home with a bunch of incontinent mindless idiots would be worse than death. I will end my life in my own way when I can no longer look after myself. I dont expect my relatives to break the law by being complicit in my death. Fortunately such things are easy when you live alone.

I am hoping that by the time I get to a point where I need to go, I can with ease and at my choosing. My old ma had the best death - sudden no illness elderly at home
Peaceful and still full of beans and busy and active. Out of the blue. The perfect death for her.
It is all too rare.

I’ve made it widely known that I don’t want anything to save me if they find me collapsed and there’s a possibility of oxygen deprivation. I don’t even want them to start mouth to mouth or chest compressions. In regards of general failing health or compromised mental capacity, a big bag of drugs once I’ve tied up all loose ends. I won’t expect kids to care for me, I’ll manage myself or employ someone to do it for me. That said, I have every intention of caring for my mum. I’ll move her in if need be.

I’m the opposite. I will do everything in my power to stay alive and ok for as long as possible. Death is just not peaceful and welcoming.

Just because we have the technology/medicines to keep people alive doesn't mean we actually should. What's the point?

I was only thinking about this yesterday. DH's mother has advanced Parkinsons and it's brutal. She's often in tears and says she doesn't want to live any longer. If I ever get a diagnosis for such a disease I'll be booking myself in at Dignitas. Hopefully by then things will be much more humane and assisted death with be acceptable in the UK.

Definitely. I have absolutely no interest in staying alive once I am past my amuse-by date. Once health or brain is on its way out, I have every intention of calling it a day.

My kids are under strict instructions to shove me under a bus and have been told they are not to put themselves out or even feel obliged for a single minute to become carers for me.

Ideally I would like to score a big bag of drugs and go out with a bang at a music festival like Glasto. Or maybe bung myself off the back of a cruise ship. Anything to avoid the hideous prospect of living an unwanted life.