The Cockroach cafe -new look for spring 2021

@Knotaknitter "When I was growing up I was expected to entertain myself. The inevitable line was "only boring people get bored". As yet I've not had to trot that one out..."

Lol, my sister & I remember that from when we were children & my DSis does say that to my mum when she complains of being bored.

"I am an introvert...I just cannot even begin to comprehend such a high need for company. I could cheerfully spend a week on my own without batting an eyelid." I'm the same - I long for solitude.

I'm so tired today, I'm sure its stress from yesterday. I snapped at DH who has got half day holiday - thats so unfair but I feel like all the energy, physical & emotional gets sucked out of me by mum so I've got none left for DH.

Hope all well with everyone. Hope you mum is doing ok knot.
The Schrader household has had a good week. I’m taking them on holiday next month (lots of brownie points) and we have agreed the meal plan, the room allocation and a wee day planner. They have got over the fact that the bungalow I’ve booked is accessible rather than quaint and pretty, and the fact we are taking a thermos of coffee and a picnic as there are no little cafes that are open en route. I’ve smiled through it all, long may this last.

Just read that back, didn’t sound right - wee as in small....

@MintyCedric our mothers could be twins, separated at birth! She was quite happy with me studying but now it seems that I can take time off whenever I feel like it. And I am awful when I am preparing to hand in an assignment. My friends are her friends so she should be allowed to meet them as well. Until someone comes to see her whereupon they are suddenly my friends not hers and I need to be there when they call.

We have two friends who prior to Covid would visit every week and would say to me take an hour or two off while they visited but she would see them walking to the door and would ring me to say "Your friends are here! Come and see them!"

When she went back on she'd had several messages and completely freaked out and shut it down.

She's just trying to distract herself (from L rather than Dad is suspect ).

Have offered to take her out today but she doesn't want to go anywhere as 'it's too busy on a Friday'.

I swear sometimes her brain partially resets to 1978.

I flat out lie when asked what I'm doing because if it's anything even slightly interesting she is sad because she's not doing it with me. I find that saying I was cleaning the bathroom kills the line of questioning stone dead.

The hospital kept mum in for reasons they wouldn't tell me over the phone which I found funny given the restrictions on visiting. She was walking about and taking herself to the toilet so my fear of bleeding on the brain due to blood thinners is probably unfounded.

When I was growing up I was expected to entertain myself. The inevitable line was "only boring people get bored". As yet I've not had to trot that one out but the day we went to the library was noticeable for the lack of phone calls. If she has something to occupy herself with then she doesn't call me for a chat. My struggle at the moment is finding things for her to do. She's had 19 years of living alone and I have no idea how she filled the day when I wasn't there because obviously, I wasn't there.

I've also noticed mum is much less whiny when I'm not seeing her if I'm doing things she approves of.

DIY, housework, gardening all acceptable.

'Me' time, writing, not so much.

Seeing friends...however dare I ?

Omg! My mum phoned me to complain she was bored and lonely at 10, even though she knew I was going roundjust after lunch and staying over tonight!

I am an introvert...I just cannot even begin to comprehend such a high need for company. I could cheerfully spend a week on my own without batting an eyelid.

I can't believe how alike all our mothers are! I have the "Can you just''' thing at least once a day. This afternoon she rang me three times in half an hour and the last time she actually said "Can you come and see me? I'm lonely." So I went!

@Ieatmarmite

Oh Lord it sounds so familiar.

The inevitable 'can you just...' every bloody time you try to leave...

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere - that sounds just like the kind of thing my mum needs.

As soon as I got to my sister's this afternoon DM told me I had to book an appointment for her for an ultrasound because she'd had a letter telling her to phone for an appointment and if I didn't do it straight away she would be "thrown off the GP list". No "Hello" or "How are you" etc, just straight to the "you must..." My nephew and my DSis had both offered to phone for the appointment this morning, but for some reason it had to be me.

She cried when I said I wasn't staying for dinner She cried when I said I would see her again on Monday because "that's 3 whole days away"; she cried when I was about to leave. I'd already texted DH and told him I'd be later home that I said because I felt sorry for her and stayed a bit longer with her. Then as I put my jacket on she asked me to do a favour and get her box of tablets (a ginormous plastic box containing all her pills). Of course she couldn't remember which one she was meant to be taking and went through everyone asking me if that was the right one. Normally she needs no help at all. She had taken all the labels off the boxes in case someone finds the box and then uses the label to steal her identity. She lost her temper with me because I couldn't tell her which tablet she needed to take. Went to ask my sister about which was right tablet and when I came back she was even more bad tempered. So much so that she told me to take her dog out "before she kicked him to death". I try to smile sweetly throughout but that's hard when someone is being rude and bad tempered for no reason at all.

How scary to find your mum like that :@Knotaknitter. I hope she's ok and makes a swift recovery.

@Ieatmarmite we have an alarm supplied for free by the council. Mum wears it on her wrist and if she were to fall suddenly it will sound even if she doesn't press it. But also if she slides off the bed she can press it and the alarm will sound. It's not like the ones that go through to a call centre, much less formal.

@Knotaknitter I hope your mum is ok.

Went to see my mum today & she told me she'd fallen in her bedroom on Tuesday, couldn't get up & had called for DSis for 20 minutes for help but no one heard her & in the end she had to get herself up. But, I'm not to tell my sister because then she'll be taken to hospital.

I told her I was going to get her some kind of call alarm that would sound in the kitchen (mum lives with my sis & the house is very big). But I'm not allowed to get her an alarm because if "they" know she's fallen then she'll be taken into hospital. She doesn't seem to recognise that DSis either has to know so she can help DM get up off the floor; or else DSis can not know she's fallen, in which case stop complaining that no one came to help you up.

I hope they're both okay and don't end up being too tricky for you to manage @Knotaknitter.

Apparently Dad would prefer to be at home but mum is not so sure.

In other news, she has signed up to an online dating site for widows and widowers...apparently she had about fifteen likes within about an hour, mostly from blokes 10-15 years her junior

Oh crikey knot sounds really tough.🌺🌺hope they are both ok. Make sure discharge coordinator is clear what Dil will and won’t do.....
minty good luck....

She's been pulling weeds, fallen somehow and smacked the side of her head hard onto concrete. Her face was a mess, she might have damaged a rib but her arms were ok so at least she hasn't broken a wrist trying to save herself. I packed her an overnight Tesco carrier bag just in case, I'm guessing at concussion, possibly with added fractures of rib and cheekbone. There are many ways that it could be worse but I'm trying to not consider those.

At the moment I'm fine, the worry will start when she comes home. MIL is fit but not yet discharged, if she's going to wave her hand in the air and declare that "my daughter in law will do that" then she's in for a shock.

Hope they will both be ok @knotaknitter xx

Oh good Lord Knot you poor thing. I guess your mum had a fall?

Good luck with that one Minty. I think it will fall down because of the lack of a formal diagnosis but you've got to admire her preparation.

I currently have MIL in one hospital and mum in another (she went off in an ambulance this morning, still waiting to here if they are keeping her after her CSI reinactment, I found her stretched out in a pool of blood. I suspect concussion). In my innocence I thought both hospitals might have the same visiting rules but no they don't. MIL can have one visitor for an hour a day, same visitor all the time, prebooked. Mum is in the more restrictive place, no visitors except for end of life or people with dementia or learning difficulties.

Oh and she's going to ask dad if he wants to come home...

I cook mum's lunch but if for some reason I suddenly couldn't get there then I can't see a carer rummaging in the freezer and whipping up lamb chops, jacket potatoes and broad beans. There's a box of ready meals in the pantry that just need sticking in the microwave for two minutes, no fuss, no bother.