Power of Attorney (financial) - what are the benefits?

Do you have one? If not then lead by example. I did mine at the same time as I completed mum's, I've told my son that when travel restrictions are lifted I'm having a gap year up the Amazon. My mother's "what if" list applied equally to me too and if I trust my son why doesn't she trust me? The issue was that she didn't see a need for it - why wouldn't the banks talk to me, after all, I'm her daughter. If I thought it was worthwhile doing for me and I wasn't worried about it then there wasn't any reason for her to be concerned.

The paperwork was really straightforward and you can do it yourself, I found it difficult because of mum's early dementia. She understood what it was about but couldn't remember ever looking at it before. Every time we discussed it was for the first time, she'd agreed all the wording but when I printed it off it was new and the six week gap until it came back was plenty of time for her to have forgotten signing it. I'd looked at doing it about ten years earlier and I regret not cracking on with it then, the longer you leave it the worse it will be.

My parents are quite young, so we've been very unlucky. It was hard enough lacking poa whilst my dad was alive but since he died it's been a nightmare. I've spent a fortune on legal fees, and although the Deputyship application has now been submitted I'm still no further on in real terms. Court of protection cases take ages, but even longer due to covid. It could take up to a year for them the process the case. We owe the council thousands and thousands of pounds in care fees. The house is standing empty and I can't do anything with it, but I am still responsible for maintenance and upkeep (out of my own pocket). Everyone I explain the situation to says it's ridiculous and 'surely there's something else you can do'.
There isn't.
Please try and get the POA.

Have you had conversations about her wishes if she does face limited mobility/stroke? Is there a relative you can hold as an example?

DH had fortunately got a POA in place for MIL before she started having strokes and couldn't sign any more even though she still had full mental capacity at that stage. It would have been a nightmare all round without the POA.

DH and I have just turned 60 and have had ours in place for each other, with our young adult DD as a reserve.

I've just done this on line today for my healthy mum, once it's done it's done. All the reasons stated. It does say on the form that whilst they are of sound mind all decisions are still hers (but could do practical things for them ) my FIL left it too late to do one for my MIL before her dementia progressed. Was ok but they could have been in a tricky situation (more for joint assets)

OP- Sorry to hear this and it must be difficult. Does she still have enough capacaity now to sign it?

It needs to be explained in simple, day to day, situations. Most importantly, how you would it benefit HER?

Some examples I can think of:

• Mum, you still make all the decisions, but if you need some help in the future, and only IF, we will support that and abide by your wishes
• If you need some cash or bills paid, I can do that when I'm out already, rather than you having to drive to X/get the bus to X, find a park, queue at the bank etc
• If you need to call those dreadful call centres to pay a bill, report a fault with the electrics/water/gas etc I can wait on the call for them to pick up, rather than you have to bother with that.
• If you got sick in the future, we'd make sure you were cared for in the way you want

We didn't have POA for my DF, he was taken into hospital after a fall, he also had cancer. He lost mental capacity at a frightening speed. He was too poorly to go home so was going to have to go into a nursing home. My parents had separate bank accounts, we were unable to access my DF's bank account to arrange finances. It was so stressful in an already very stressful time. My DF sadly died before he even managed to get to the nursing home.

We didn't have POA as my DM didn't want us broaching the subject with my DF when he still had mental capacity as she thought he would get upset and thought we would be taking his independence away. However, she now knows how important it is and signed POA for her very soon after DF died. She still has financial independence but she knows that DH and I can step in if necessary.

As long as she's lucid when she signs the LPA, it's legal.

If she ends up in hospital for whatever reason you will be allowed to help with financial matters until such time as she is able to sort things out for herself. Without it the law has to be brought in.

The reason we finally sort poa for my grandma is a perfect example. She had a bad fall while doing her shopping one day and broke her hip, rehab was hard on her and she never regained her mobility fully. Her card got blocked and they needed her to go to a branch to have it unblocked, didnt do online banking or anything. It took 3 months to finally get her to a branch so she had access to her money again because she found it so hard and tiring to get there even with my help. I was buying her food at whatever else she needed during this time. The next time it happened, once i had poa, i popped down to the bank with the documents and had it sorted in half an hour

Some good ideas here. I wish my mum had signed POA, she wouldn't. Advanced dementia now, and since my dad's death I've been left with a complete mess. I have applied for Deputyship but it takes ages, maybe over a year.

Ooh, good reasoning there @Evidencebased.

It may be difficult to persuade someone that making plans for becoming 'ga-ga' , (as posters have so eloquently put it), is a sensible move. Who wants to think about that as their future?

It can be simpler/less threatening, to think about a future where, whilst recovering from an accident/stroke/major surgery/Covid , one is simply not up to making phonecalls to a bank from one's hospital bed. And so, the builders/garage/council tax people, who want their bills paid,and are not prepared to wait, may simply decide on court action/bailifs.
That would be an expensive pain, and without POA no one could help, as modern regs prevent these people speaking to anyone else.Unless, someone has POA, and can act as your personal assistant, until you can take the reins back yourself.

So, it can be simply a means of allowing a trusted relative to help you out, until and unless you're back on your feet.

This is not a fib, btw: people tend to think of POA as connected soley to an irreversible decline(and it often is). But the mental capacity to deal with your own affairs is not a fixed state: someone unconcious for a week has definitely lost mental capacity, but may later regain it.

It can be easier for elderly people to contemplate a temporary frailty, whilst thinking about an irreversible decline is stil too painful/frightening.

Reassure her that it is for a rainy day - it won’t come in to play unless she gives explicit permission or she’s not able to make decisions ie she’s fallen under a bus. I didnt mention the ‘gaga’ option to the In Laws, even though clearly that’s going to be the issue with FIL who has dementia.

My DF always gets stressed if something goes wrong with his finances or a DD gets taken or a wrong payment. I explained that we could act for him so go to the bank and get it sorted save him some hassle, otherwise they won’t deal with us.
I also told him if you have it jointly with a sibling then you are going to discuss everything as a family.
Your mum can keep hold of it too or just stuff It in a drawer until it’s needed (or never)
Can’t tell you though how working in care it’s so difficult for those families without it to get once someone has lost capacity.

Because there isn't usually fair warning between "With it" and "gaga"

Have you had conversations about her wishes if she does face limited mobility/stroke? Is there a relative you can hold as an example?

To be honest there is a whole raft of affairs to have in order with aging, from suitable housing and maintenance, transport, funeral arrangements, wills - if she isn't willing to discuss those then the conversations might need to be more incremental.

I told my DM that it was because the alternative is hugely expensive & involves Court. She's tight & isn't keen on solicitors, so that worked.

The Money Saving Expert article on this is useful.

Please remember that the donor needs to be of sound mind as per the mental capacity act in order to appoint a deputy / nominate a poa.

In terms of examples keep it simple like doing errands for her. Withdrawing cash, paying bills, moving / upgrading ISAs etc to get best value.

Actually DH and I did them as well. Adult DC named.

The way we put it to mum was that if, at some time in the future, she became too ill to manage her affairs we could step in and help. Without the LPA no one could pay her bills or speak to banks. It was for insurance, just in case.
She happily agreed and died ten years later with it unused. We did use the H&W though.