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Elderly parents

Advice on putting together a photo album for Mum in home who no longer knows who I am?

30 replies

loveyouradvice · 12/03/2021 11:20

Feeling a bit shellshocked - she's just had Covid, seemed fine but has really affected her dementia - she's leapt from knowing who we all are and able to chat about what we are doing to not knowing I'm her daughter when I stand in front of her.

I've been meaning to do a photo album with words for ages and it now feels rather urgent.

  1. Will it help?
  2. Any advice on best ways of doing it for someone with dementia ... who I imagine will look at it with her carers (I hope)
OP posts:
cosmiccat · 12/03/2021 13:44

I created a box of photos stuck onto cards for my mum. I wrote on the back what the photo was of. They were mainly photos of her across the years but also of places she knew well. They were used by my brother and I to stimulate some conversations. The care home stsff also used them. I think they really helped. It was handy having them on separate cards as my mum could hold just one and not have to hold a whole album. She died 2 years ago but I have kept the cards and they are a lovely reminder of her life.

loveyouradvice · 12/03/2021 13:34

jenny - hugely appreciate your taking the time to spell it out so clearly - great advice, and will indeed put This belongs to ... on the front!

mygod - very interesting - I hadn't heard about colour and will do this - in any case makes it more cheerful

Cmot thank you - I feel as if Im just at the beginning of the journey and need to learn more about her type of dementia, especially now it feels we have been catapulted into it.....

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 12/03/2021 11:59

To be honest, I don't think they actually help the person with dementia that much. Certainly my mum couldn't connect between a person, a photo, and a description/relationship.
I tried looking at older photos with her, and it just upset her to be honest as it must have felt like she should know things to say about it.
But mum had fronto temporal dementia, and visual processing is very affected by that, so other dementia types may be a different experience.
I did a photo book early in mums dementia with captions and that was very easy to do. You could do it as a 'Mums family' book with photos of her parents and siblings, spouse, children , gc etc and their name and relationship, perhaps also a pic of her with them if possible

MyGodImSoYoung · 12/03/2021 11:40

I'm sorry that you are having to experience this; it is incredibly upsetting when someone you love forgets who you are.

I think a photo album sounds like a lovely idea. Try to make it bright; I have been told that often people with dementia do not like the colour black/dark colours, as they find them scary and disturbing. Not sure how true that is, but I have stuck by it!

I would suggest making the images large and just simply write next to each photo the name of the person and the relationship to her.

However, I think you might need to accept that she might not remember any of you, even if she looks at the photo album regularly. Dementia affects people in different ways, and whilst regular contact with some people enables their memory of them to recover/enables them to recognise the person, this is not always the case. I had a client who had a carer living with her 24/7, and it was a shock to her every time the lady entered the room. She simply did not recognise or remember her.

JennyWreny · 12/03/2021 11:36

Sorry to read that your mum had Covid. Flowers

I made an album for my dad. Got a simple scrapbook from hobby craft. used clear photos of happy times (not like passport photos IYSWIM) 50pt simple font to do the wording. I made a page at the beginning - "My name is. . . . ." " I was born on . . . . . " Then page with photo of my mum with "This is ......" "She is my wife" "we got married on . . . . ." Then similar pages for me and my DSis and grandchildren. Then page for where he used to live as a child, his work, cafe he likes to visit, page about jigsaw puzzles, golf etc etc. There's loads of gaps in it. I've tried to do it as an ongoing project so we stick something else in every week or so.

Dad helped me do it (kind of) it was a nice project to do together.

I found the important thing was for me - just to get it done - I had been meaning to do an album for ages but then realised that it didn't need to be perfect. Just printed out some photos, stuck them in using pritt stick. So it's not too precious, doesn't matter if the pages get dog-eared etc.

Also, had to do text on the front saying "This belongs to xxxx" because he kept trying to give it away as didn't realise it was his.

Sorry for bad grammar etc, in a hurry at the moment. Hope some of that helps and your mum enjoys looking at the photos as much as my dad does.