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Elderly parents
Original poster

Urgent advice needed-mum is delirious

117 replies

flygirl767 · 09/06/2020 14:28

My mum has been gong down hill rapidly, suffering from extreme anxiety and thinking there are people in the house/she's not in her own home. This has been sporadic and the GP could find nothing wrong initially. Over the last few days she has been particularly bad and today she is talking no sense at all. She usually comes round mid morning and is relatively ok but she is talking about being able to see a room full of people, saying she wants to go home etc.

I spoke to the GP this morning, he as already put in an urgent referral to the elderly care team with a view to getting her assessed and scanned but we are unsure how long that would take right now. He said the only other way of getting her assessed is to have her admitted to hospital which she would hate and probably make her even more confused.

I'm going over there now but can't stay over as I have my son at home (she is 30 mins away). Really not sure what to do? She sounds really bad and I wonder if any one has any advice? She is completely delirious at the moment but the GP says if she is a danger to herself I must call an ambulance. Seems extreme but not sure if she is ok on her own?

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WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 13/06/2020 11:29

You will never get her to understand so its best to try to avoid the subject/ distract away. Don't bring it up unless she does. Just say 'you are in hospital because you have not been well' or something vague like that.

Tell her you are not allowed to take her home which is true because she is detained. You will take her home when the Drs say you can. If she still thinks it's a hotel don't argue. She will most likely not remember any of it or blame you when she is better.

The nurse is right this is very very common for patients not to realise they are unwell and in a mental health unit they will be easily able to handle it. She may get upset when you leave by staff are trained to deal with it and wouldn't advise you to visit if they thought it would harm her.

Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 17:22

I’ve told my MIL that we’re just waiting to see the Dr again loads of times. I’ve also said I’m just popping to the dentist and will be back shortly when I leave. Makes me feel a little guilty but stops her stressing.

helpfulperson · 12/06/2020 17:01

It's a bit like having a child at nursery. She may well be upset for you both on the phone and in person but be fine 10 minutes later with. It is perfectly normal.

Wolfiefan · 12/06/2020 14:54

Maybe say they’re waiting for some test results?

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 14:39

@Wolfiefan

Any chance you can say you’ll talk to someone and find out if she starts saying about going home. We aren’t allowed in. But TBH I think that’s no bad thing. Mum thinks I’m not me. Hope your mum improves soon. Flowers
Hi Wolfie yes that is what I said today that I would ask the doctors then I just changed the subject! I'm just more concerned about what to say when she questions what is wrong with her as she clearly believes there isn't anything!
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Wolfiefan · 12/06/2020 13:39

Any chance you can say you’ll talk to someone and find out if she starts saying about going home.
We aren’t allowed in. But TBH I think that’s no bad thing. Mum thinks I’m not me.
Hope your mum improves soon. Flowers

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 13:05

@Honeyroar

Sorry, for some reason I didn’t see the last page so ignore the previous post. Glad you’re getting help
Cross post! No problem thanks for replying anyway x
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Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 13:04

@Honeyroar

My mum was referred by her go for a scan and X-ray last week. She was seen within a couple of days. The dept was really quiet.

But if she’s as bad as she sounds I think you’re going to have to get her to hospital, whether she likes it or not. She doesn’t sound safe to be alone.

Thanks @Honeyroar but you missed the last couple of pages, she's been admitted to a MH hospital
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Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 13:03

Sorry, for some reason I didn’t see the last page so ignore the previous post. Glad you’re getting help

Honeyroar · 12/06/2020 13:02

My mum was referred by her go for a scan and X-ray last week. She was seen within a couple of days. The dept was really quiet.

But if she’s as bad as she sounds I think you’re going to have to get her to hospital, whether she likes it or not. She doesn’t sound safe to be alone.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 12/06/2020 12:57

I'm being allowed to go and see her tomorrow which is great. We have to meet in the hospital grounds but obviously better than nothing. She seemed fine yesterday and thought she was in a hotel in France so it can't be too bad! I dropped a bag of clothes and goodies off to her and spoke to the nurses who are so caring and supportive.

However she called me this morning very upset, doesn't know why she is there, denying being ill and says that the doctors have told her she has been confused but she's not. Then went on to tell me it was me that was ill not her. Begging me to come and visit and take her home. It was so upsetting, I spent half the morning in tears.
I've now spoke to another nurse who says this is common and she is calm and fine. Mum called again and she was much more lucid and gave me some phone numbers of people I need to call.

Not sure how to broach the subject of why she's there tomorrow, how do you go about this if she thinks she is fine? I don't want to distress her but neither do I want to give her false help as she will be in there minimum 2 weeks.

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greathat · 10/06/2020 23:29

Hope she's on the mend soon OP. Good that she is close by at least

Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 18:48

Oh that’s good news. Can you check if she needs anything taking in? And if they will do laundry?

Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 18:23

AMHP has just called, she is being moved to a MH facility less than a mile away from my house! Shame I won't be able to visit but handy for dropping things off to her

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Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 18:04

@flygirl767 and me to you too lovely. Gin

ChicCroissant · 10/06/2020 17:15

Just to echo what PP have said, I've always found it easier to get tests as a hospital inpatient when someone needs them, so while I appreciate that it must be awful for you to hear the term sectioned, I do think she's best off in hospital.

I hope they get to the bottom of it very soon OP.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 17:12

@helpfulperson

I agree with your cousin. As long as your mum is in hospital she will get the referalls and see the people she needs to see if only because they don't want her taking up one of their beds longer than is necessary. If she goes home it all becomes much harder. Is she still having the delusions, if so it's also better for the to see them rather than hear about them second hand.

You have absolutely done the correct thing and she is in the best place.

@helpfulperson thank you so much, I know you are right and that has comforted me. She is a little confused from the sound of it but nothing like how she was yesterday. She proudly told me that she passed the memory test (again) with flying colours!

@Wolfiefan I shall raise a (huge) glass to you tonight!

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birthdaybelle · 10/06/2020 16:59

Sorry no time to read whole thread... has anyone suggested earwax build up?

helpfulperson · 10/06/2020 16:40

I agree with your cousin. As long as your mum is in hospital she will get the referalls and see the people she needs to see if only because they don't want her taking up one of their beds longer than is necessary. If she goes home it all becomes much harder. Is she still having the delusions, if so it's also better for the to see them rather than hear about them second hand.

You have absolutely done the correct thing and she is in the best place.

Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 16:38

That’s a great idea. I might have one too. My mum called the emergency services out for no reason in the middle of the night.
This way medical causes can be ruled in or out and a treatment and support plan can be put in place. They are safe and cared for.
Maybe a VERY large gin. Gin

Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 16:23

Just spoken to my cousin who is a nurse and she said that at the moment, she would struggle to get any proper assessment or treatment if she went home plus she could refuse so admitting her is the best option. This has made me feel a bit better I guess. Large gin needed later!

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Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 16:02

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee

You have a legal right to be consulted about any detention under S2 as nearest relative (as long as she doesn't have a living spouse and you are the eldest child)

The AMPH (social worker arranging the assessment) should call you. You can query why not treat at home if you want to. They should look at less restrictive options before detaining. They may have very good reasons but they should explain to you

Yes she did call me. I found it all very confusing, but as she said that as the 2 psychiatrists had recommended it, I thought that was the only option. She didn't mention treating at home. After the state she was in yesterday I'm not sure how she would be at home anyway. She would probably have to have someone with her all the time
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Wolfiefan · 10/06/2020 15:59

My mum isn’t coherent. She doesn’t think I’m me. I haven’t spoken to her. She doesn’t believe it’s me even when she can see me.
If you’re the next of kin they will write to you. They will set out your rights and let them know what info your mum has been given. They will tell you who is responsible for her care. We have been told we can call and talk to staff daily.

WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 10/06/2020 15:54

I guess if she is refusing eg to take medication or accept visits then that would be the reason to detain

Original poster
flygirl767 · 10/06/2020 15:53

@Wolfiefan

My mum is also on a section 2. She’s safe and monitored and under the care of a nurse, doctor and psych too. Hope there’s good news for you soon.
Does your mum understand what is going on @Wolfiefan? I know Mum will be calling me asking why she is not going home. I know this is the best thing really it is just the shock of the section which I guess you had too. How long has she been in? Are you talking to her on the phone?
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