I posted earlier with a query about my mum. It got me thinking about lots of things. When the phone rings I wish it was the worst news. She is in near constant pain, her body no longer works and the mind is following (parkinsons dementia).
I feel a sense of frustration, anger, and resentment, and here is the worst bit, some of it is directed towards her, that she won't die, that she may linger like this for years, how could she do this to us? getting so old and decrepit, awful, angry, selfish thoughts.
God, I just realised I'm writing this on a Saturday night, but I needed to get it out.
Thank you for reading.