Can we refuse to take Mil home from hospital.

You really have to fight your corner...I had 2 meetings with the OT went to the hospital and waited for the Dr to come round and got meeting with the discharge officer....very stressful. My Dad now has carers in he was dead set against it but I just broke down one day and said I cant do this on my own everyday. In time he just got use to it.. mostly regular carers go in so he gets to know them.

Speak with the discharge officer who can over rule even what a Dr says about discharging. My Dad in his 80's was being sent home after being in hosp for 5 days with a chest infection. He was so weak couldnt walk unaided, had hardly eaten....hadnt opened his bowls for 5 days. They gave him laxatives and 3 enomas (sorry cant spell it) he was in so much psin from the toilet business. The 20 year old OT said he was fine to go home and when I raised my concerns she said ..well just bring his bed downstairs!!! I told her how on earrh could she think that forcing him to be bed bound was going to aid his recovery!!! A nurse on the ward told me to speak and expressed my concerns again to the Discharge officer on the ward. This person was great and agreed with me, spoke to my Dad and immediately over ruled....and booked him into a rehabitation home for 2 and a half weeks. In that time they helped with physio ever day, fed him up and got him on his feet again. If he had been sent home within 24 hours he would of been back in hospital Im sure after falling or something

💐 I have been there, the game of whispers where the patient is told something, or certainly, tells YOU they were told something...
It's unlikely that anything will happen over the weekend. And "maybe the end of next week" is 7 days, a long time when you're talking a very old lady in poor health.
See if one of you can go in on Monday morning (just after ward rounds end is a good time to pounce) and have a chat to her doctor armed with notebook and pen. (Do any of you have health LPA for her?)
Yes, she has to be assessed and no, she can't be discharged if it's not safe (never mind if they need the bed).
Don't panic.
I remember a couple of months ago having the same weekend convo with my Mum ("oh they're sending me home on Monday") and promptly getting her partner (who was due to visit next) to make sure she didn't have any house keys on her in hospital :D (we were both panicking as you DO hear some stories but clearly if there was no means of getting her into the house if we didn't let them in they couldn't just dump her).
In fact Mum had been told that they would START assessing her & thinking about POSSIBLE discharge STARTING Monday. And the hospital assessment team were fine and set things up (carers, equipment) adequately for her discharge (which was much much later than Monday).
Hospitals at the best of times are not very nice to be in and so little old ladies knocked halfway into space by a UTI and with their blood sugar skew-whiff can hear what they want to hear to an extent.
The best thing is to go in and talk to people face to face, anyway, be super polite but persistent and if someone says they can talk to you in five minutes, well, it may be more like 50 and keep a beady eye on them as much as you can because sometimes they do get distracted and forget - not often, thank goodness, but if you've taken time off work for this, you don't want to have to take a second day because Dr Bloggs legged it IYSWIM.

You aren’t obliged to provide care just because she doesn’t want strangers there. And you can also tell hospital very clearly you can’t look after her at night. It’s their job to ensure a safe discharge.