Relative not eating properly

As he likes going out would he consider joining a lunch club, my dad goes to one of these they do hot meals twice a week? Might be something like that in his area

Also what about he could have a shopping delivery with things like Quiches, pies, things to go with it such as salad etc, maybe he has a local shop and can pick up things there also.

It sounds like motivation as well, maybe that will come back with time.

Fortisip is one brand.

Hi - just to say I'd focus on calories, if he's eating something that's good. There are some fortified juices available that pack in both calories and vitamins if you wanted to look at those.

How about this book ? It was written by a daughter whose mother died and whose father (once he had exhausted casseroles from neighbours) needed to learn the basics. Maybe you could work through it with him ?
www.amazon.co.uk/Teaching-Cook-Flapjack-Miranda-Gardiner/dp/1740668774?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Does he like tuna? There are tuna pasta pots you can get which don’t have to be heated up and are long life. DS uses them on weekend hikes with scouts and DofE

I'd be encouraging him to go out for meals more often. I had some success in persuading my dad out for a hot meal once a week - there was a pub which did cheap lunches, and the local Morrisons did very nice scrambled eggs on toast. I also made sure he had a steady stream of home-made cakes on the grounds that at least they had eggs in.

We did get advice from a dietician, and she advised not to worry about the eating guidelines appropriate to a younger person, to go back to full-fat milk, and butter instead of margarine. Appetite is less, so food has to be more calorie-dense.

At the moment it's about making sure he has plenty of food that he will want to eat, and given that he is elderly and emotionally at a low ebb, this is likely to be sweet rather than savoury. So lots of cakes, and try also those little pudding pots - fruit and custard, or rice pudding with difference flavourings. Also tins of fruit that can be eaten cold, and tinned custard. Anything that can be opened and eaten without having to go near a microwave or pan.

First of all, you sound absolutely lovely and so kind. I have a lot of experience in elderly care and I have to say that you are worrying unnecessarily. In his position, recently bereaved and aged 80, he will have very little appetite. Yes, he would regain his appetite if you cooked every meal for him, but that is impractical.

In our local Wetherspoons, lots of elderly people are eating alone and that might be something you could get him to try. Perhaps going along once a week with his social group. Eating sandwiches though will not do him any harm. Perhaps you can supplement it with Soups in plastic containers from the supermarket. Also some tinned fruit might be nice for him.

As @ScribblingMilly said, vitamins etc don’t count for much at his age. He just needs calories and if he gets them from just bread or biscuits it doesn’t matter too much . Don’t put so much pressure on him ( or you)

Op it's great that he's so social. It makes a huge difference.

Wiltshire Farm Foods were good when dm did not fancy cooking. However she is living proof that you can exist on a diet rich in white bread, porridge, chicken/fish and potatoes if he has a microwave would he do jacket potatoes, with cheese, beans, coleslaw, tuna etc or soup?

It's still very early days. I'd look at something like a delivery service from cook or Wiltshire farm foods to get through this stage if finances allow. It's very difficult.

It's lovely that he has you looking out for him.
I'd concentrate on trying to up his calorie intake, even if it seems a bit lacking in nutrition right now.
My MIL is in a care home and they seem to offer a steady stream of snacks and cakes in between meals. I think little and often is ideal as it helps keep the appetite going.

Tinned sardines/baked beans/cheese/peanut butter on the toast?

When DM had to go into hospital, DF who couldn't really cook used to fire up the BBQ even if it was winter!

DM had been the chief cook and bottlewasher all her life yet went through this after DF died. It took time and encouragement to get her to start shopping, cooking and eating again. Until then I batch cooked and took her food she could just warm up. It will be very hard for your FIL and he will need a lot of support
Aunt used Wiltshire Farm Foods as she had health issues and was unable to cook but her carers could microwave these easily.
SIL's DF had never cooked but learned basics like omelettes, cheese on toast, etc which he used alongside food she batch cooked and M&S ready meals

The Cook meals look great (although I’ve not tried them myself- yet), do you think he’d try those? They are quite pricey, but even if he just had a couple a week?

It’s sad that he obviously misses hot meals, but at the minute I’d focus on nutrition more than hot meals. It is perfectly possible to have a healthy diet from cold food, it’s just not very exciting. Do you think he’s eating a balanced diet?

It's early days for him. Let him do the things he feels confident with i.e. sandwiches, make sure there's things like pickle, cold meat, tomatoes, that can perk it up. If he misses hot food, maybe he would use a sandwich toaster?
Teach him to make an omelette, when he's ready.

When making meals do have leftovers you could make for him that he could freeze and defrost at a later date? Does he have other relatives besides you who can offer some support? If so could you batch cook meals between you? Not ideal obviously but it's an idea to make sure that he eats nutritional meals?

I would also try to lower your expectations. He can live quite well on mostly sandwiches! Maybe vary it a bit with quiche, soup and other ready to eat stuff.

Wiltshire Farm Foods is also a good suggestion. A couple of cafe or lunch club cooked meals, a couple of hot dinners (and leftovers) with you and a couple of ready meals a week are fine if he's eating sandwiches the rest of the time.

We can’t get meals on wheels where I live: social services recommended Wiltshire Farm Foods.

It's a really hard time for all of you.
To be honest, I'd back off a bit and certainly don't tell him he's worrying you.
Is he losing weight? If not, leave him to eat sandwiches right now. He's getting out, eating well with you and the odd lunch out with friends. This is fine.