I'm really struggling.
DM has always been difficult, but DF reigned her in a bit till he died three years ago.
If I explained, I'd be here for four pages and you'd end up as stressed as me, just reading it!
Basically, this week she's being particularly hard work. It's the anniversary of DF's funeral, and she's having a cataract op. So I understand she's very stressed. But she's also completely unreasonable!
I said I'd go down to see her this weekend- it's a 3 hour drive. I planned to go down Friday morning. She's assumed I'll drive down Thursday daytime. I agreed to go down Thursday, leaving after traffic so arriving 8.30pm. She says that's too late she'll be in bed.
In trying to untangle all this, she's accused me of gaslighting her. I get the guilt trip -'no one loves me, I've lost the only person who ever put me first'.
She guilt tripped me into going on holiday with her, which she is paying for, and now says she's thinking of changing her mind. Well fine, but I've spent £500 on the deposit, insurance, travel to the airport etc.
We invite her to come on holiday with us, but she never wants to do what we do.
She's driving me potty!
So understandable - vulnerable, elderly, widowed etc
But unreasonable.
How do I handle it? Any ideas?