Elderly mum made disasterous decision.

@Disfordarkchocolate

I'd never move away from my own children and grandchild even though I'm tempted! Although I've brought my DDs up to be completely independent, I want to be able to support them any way I can. My dm has been the opposite, and has generally speaking put her own needs first. Her own DF had Parkinson's for 10 years and she did bugger all to help. My grandma lived to be 101, but again my dm didn't visit her much - maybe twice a year, whilst me, my sister and my aunt visited every week.

The EA didn't give the keys to the buyers, she did.
Her DH does have children but they don't have anything to do with him, haven't done so for years.
To add insult to injury, dm had an affair with her now DH when we were young children. When my DF found the out he forgave her and they stayed together, seemingly happily. Certainly us children weren't aware of anything wrong. However his then wife threw him out and moved away so he didn't see his children for years. He eventually married wife number 2 who was 20 years younger than him, and had more children. When I was 30, my dm was 55. She persuaded my DF that if she moved to London for 5 years to teach, she would end up with a much better pension. She came home every 6 weeks. After 2 years of this, she finally admitted to my DF in a letter that she was leaving him. She stayed in London and about a year later told us about her new partner. She married him as soon as the divorce came through. It finally came out a few years later that the man she married was the same she'd had the affair with. He left wife 2 for my dm, and his second set of children.
My DF was absolutely devastated. Actually, so were we even though we are all adults. There's an awful lot of resentment there. Although we all eventually got on with her DH, none of us are prepared to spend any of our time looking after him. Dm said today that if she dies before him, she knows I'd make sure he was taken care of as I'm the practical one.

As I said in my last post, I helped look after my MIL and never once felt the resentment and frustration that I do about my own mother.

She is generally a very capable woman but now feels like she knows better than anyone, including professionals.
For example, she's angry that her dog can't go into kennels or doggy day care because she 'knows' her dog doesn't need to have its vaccinations and it's all a conspiracy to make money out of dog owners. She believes that she knows better what meds to take for her arthritis, and is taking Anadin Max every 2 hours despite being told not to and being given naproxen and omezaprole. She believes if she gets her DH incontinence pads it will just make him lazy and he'll stop bothering to go to the toilet. She believes that her solicitor is just out to make as much money from her as he can, has been sent the money for the sale of her flat and is hiding it to get extra interest from it.

@PragmaticWench

Not great! DM spoke to her solicitor yesterday then told me that everything had gone through and asked me to collect the keys to the new bungalow this morning. Drove over to the estate agents first thing to collect them, DB had organised for the furniture to be brought out of storage this afternoon but dm got it wrong. EA knew nothing, I spent an hour in there whilst they phoned round to find out. Seems that dm had been told that the solicitor had all the final,paperwork and it would exchange today, complete tomorrow!
Meanwhile overnight dm (who along with her DH has landed on my DB) has had what sounds like a panic attack, took it upon herself to phone 111 and was told to go to the local walk n centre at noon. I took her, spent 2 hours there, we were told she needed to go to a+e urgently as she's showing signs of severe dehydration. Called at dbs on the way to make sure her DH was ok, wherein she ended up screaming at me, accused me of lying and refused to go. My dsis turned up, tried to persuade her, she got screamed at too.
So no hospital visit, no house move, DB at his wits end, dm becoming more unreasonable probably because of dehydration and her refusal to even speak to me and my dsis.
Al in all, it's great!!!

Thanks for all your responses. It's been a hard weekend! It seems my stepfather (SF) is much more poorly than we first thought. He's barely able to walk and is incontinent. He has to be fed. He can smoke, and does so constantly! Dm is convinced that when she speaks to the solicitor n the morningnit will all be sorted and she can move in to her new bungalow in the afternoon!
My dsis drove over to the new place this afternoon, she said its in a very bad state, having been empty for months. Dm seems to think we will all rally round tomorrow and redecorate???
At this rate, I'll be an alcoholic by Friday!