Man sent by social services to give 86 year old a shower?

31 replies

CarolinaPink · 04/02/2020 19:31

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum - have only recently found it.

My aunt (86) is currently moving from the end of the 6 weeks' 'free' care, following a shoulder replacement, to long-term care provided by Social Services. (Why Social Services rather than a better local agency is another story.)

Today they sent a man to give her personal care. During the six weeks period that didn't happen. At 86 I'm not surprised that my aunt didn't want to take her clothes off and have a shower.

Am I being unreasonable in this? I'd be grateful to know what your experiences are.

Many thanks.

OP posts:

PityParty4one · 04/02/2020 19:52

No you are not being unreasonable to understand your aunts upset but unless it was in the care plan they will not know to make adjustments.

The support staff was just a staff member doing his job. If your aunt wants female only then it needs to be said.

Frequency · 04/02/2020 19:47

Your Aunt has the right to request female carers only and the care agency must listen and send only females. She cannot request only male carers. The same applies to men who often prefer female carers. They have the right to ask for a male carer and their wishes must be respected where possible (male carers are few and far between) but they don't have the right to request only female carers. A service user always has the right to refuse any aspect of their care for any reason.

A phone call to the care agency should sort this out. There are plenty of female carers. They'll shuffle the rotas around and your aunt will only have female carers attend her personal care calls. Also, SS are arranging the care, not providing it. They will be using a care agency. You do have the right to ask them to use a different care agency but you might have to pay a top up if the care agency of your choice is more expensive.

PatellarTendonitis · 04/02/2020 19:42

This will happen more and more as caring is so poorly paid and more and more people who are unsuited to the profession are forced into it by Universal Credit and yes, anyone self-id'ing as female you can't discriminate against.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 04/02/2020 19:40

If it's moved services and she's suddenly been offered a shower I'd say it's probably down to a difference in the care plan that was written and probably the longer term one has been allocated more time that allows for a shower. The fact that it's a man is probably just an unfortunate coincidence.

lilmishap · 04/02/2020 19:38

This is a current hot potato, Yes she should have the right to not be seen by a man BUT technically they cannot discriminate regarding sex (or the new term gender) and if there were no Female carers available the alternative would be no shower.

Ohnoherewego62 · 04/02/2020 19:32

What was her care plan?

What actually happened?

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