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Elderly parents
Original poster

How long could Dad with dementia last?

38 replies

comberbird · 14/01/2020 20:56

Hello I know this a random post. Today my Dad finally moved into full time nursing care after 7 weeks in hospital. He has advanced dementia - needs to be fed washed incontinent etc - can speak Or really communicate etc. He also been off his feet while in hospital. So walked once in that time and now very frail although capable of walking if encouraged. I know this is an odd thing to ask but how long could he survive like this? The past 12 mths have been terrible for mum who cared for him at home as his health declined but she is already much chirpier since he was in hospital as she’s had some rest and time to herself. I would love my Dad to be around forever if I thought he wasn’t living his worse nightmare but I’m curious to know how others have fared in a similar situation. I suppose I am trying to prepare myself for the end :(

OP posts:
CoffeeRunner · 14/01/2020 21:31

I’m really sorry to say this but everybody is so different. I currently work on an elderly medical hospital ward where we see a large amount of dementia patients. My previous job was in a specialist nursing home for advanced dementia.

In some cases, a person can carry on as you describe for several years. In other cases, a seemingly simple chest infection will become pneumonia & take them very quickly.

Have you heard of the “gems” system for staging dementia? It would sound as though your dad is at Pearl stage, which is the final stage. Although, as I say, some will be at this stage for a few months & others for a few years.

IRememberSoIDo · 14/01/2020 21:30

FIL has frontal lobe dementia and has been without speech, ability to communicate, ability to move for 4.5 years now. He rapidly deteriorated in an eighteen month period before this and went from running a business to this. He has stayed in limbo since. It's horrible, so hard for everyone. We were told he'd have maybe 2-3 years around that time, 4.5 years ago.

ParkheadParadise · 14/01/2020 21:26

Mum had vascular dementia.
10 years in total. The last 5 were in a care home. The last 2 she went down hill rapidly.
Dementia is a fucking awful disease for everyone involved.

Original poster
comberbird · 14/01/2020 21:24

Thank you all. I know there isn’t a sensible answer but Its so hard to deal with the never ending ups and downs. Although they are mostly downs. Today he has his first shower in weeks so I know he should be feeling more comfortable in his new room tonight.

OP posts:
morrisseysquif · 14/01/2020 21:22

Vascular dementia for my mum too.

morrisseysquif · 14/01/2020 21:21

My mum's dementia was pretty well advanced within a couple of years, she didn't know us at all and died four years later. I am so sorry you are going through this. Flowers. It as pneumonia that she died of.

Everybody is different, I am sure you read all different stories on here.

Parky04 · 14/01/2020 21:15

My FIL passed away 6 months after going into the care home. He had vascular dementia. Probably had it for around 5 years.

Pollaidh · 14/01/2020 21:12

It depends on the type of dementia - and whether he has more than one.

Vascular dementia is supposed to be 5 years from first symptoms, and progresses in fits and starts - IIRC the blood vessels in the brain burst bit by bit (the damage can be seen on a scan), and so depending on where in the brain each burst happens, the dementia can suddenly progress overnight if it's happened in a critical area.

Alzheimers etc progress more slowly - more like 10-20 years IIRC (could be wrong on that).

Lewes body dementia is different again. And someone can have 2 or more types at the same time, making predictions difficult. I think age of onset can also affect speed.

Original poster
comberbird · 14/01/2020 21:10

They don’t really know what dad has - it looks and manifests like fronto temporal as he’s completely lost all his speech and that happened very rapidly. He was diagnosed three years ago although we suspect he was hiding well for a few years before. He’s 78.

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 14/01/2020 21:10

My Dad was much as you describe for around a year before the end. It is very variable.

Derekmorganwasinmybed · 14/01/2020 21:04

That’s the type my mum had

SanFranBear · 14/01/2020 21:02

I think it depends on the type of dementia. My mum had vascular dementia and she sadly went from being pretty much my mum, to us losing her in five months.

Derekmorganwasinmybed · 14/01/2020 21:00

My mum was diagnosed at 52,she lasted 12 years I would say the last 5/6 years as you described,it’s such a hard thing to watch a loved one go through