The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

I am listening to the sound of my finance LPA churning out of the printer. Next off is mums and then tomorrow Ms Certificate Provider is popping round for a spot of signing and witnessing. It was nowhere near as much work as I was expecting it to be. I know you are all well organised and there's only me that's been putting it off but if there is someone who has been thinking about it but not actually done it because it's too hard/too much work then I can tell you it isn't.

I've told my son that this is in preparation for my gap year.

Thanks for doing the research for me Dint, that's really helpful.

DM doesn't even have broadband, so it would mean quite a commitment. A cheap smart phone would allow you to set alarms. Cheap PAYG from giffgaff - you'd need to make a call once every 6 months to keep the SIM alive. But it wouldn't be a voice alarm saying "take your meds".

This "talking alarm clock" is £70, which is a bit better than £100
www.techsilver.co.uk/product/talking-reminder-clock/

Or £14 for 8 reminders a day. Magnetic, so can be stuck on the fridge
www.healthandcare.co.uk/pill-alarms-and-pill-timers/tabtimer-pill-reminder.html

This is quite a useful article, if you havrne't already seen it
www.healthandcare.co.uk/blog/best-medication-reminders-and-pill-dispensers-2020.html

Great news about the gardener, that's one less thing to think about.

Brilliant news about the gardener!!

Sorry you are struggling today Knot.

The reality is she almost certainly won't hear a beeper, or be able to handle anything fiddly. I think I will keep an eye and if this becomes a habit either swap the carer visits to the morning, or double them up.

One of my tasks which I put off as it was too much to deal with at the time was to move to a new carer agency where the carer does bits of shopping and cleaning as well as supervise meds. I might need to revisit that.

The good news is the gardener that I found (young woman with tats and piercings) is bloody brilliant. She transformed the front garden and it was such a weight off to be able to offload a job to someone who did it better than me!

We had an electric pill dispenser which was provided free. The chemist would fill it each week. It didn’t work because my mum couldn’t turn it upside down to dispense the pills and my dad forgot you needed to turn it upside down to stop the beeping and just bashed it repeatedly until it stopped working!

My dad had Alzheimer’s and took against his medication. Mum would find pills pressed into the butter!

Sorry you are having a ratty day🌺.
Is it time to consider a morning carer to supervise meds? Low tech solution.....

Ignore me, I am really ratty today, and I shouldn't be let lose in public.

We are also having a medication failure, the other end of the day but the same scenario in that there is no-one there to supervise. I hope you have more success than I've done - a beeping thing wouldn't work for my mum because she just wouldn't hear it. I have considered the cheaper option of a vibrating wristband alarm, it's just on a timer. The advantage is that she doesn't need to be sitting next to it to hear it, it will work just as well if she's in the garden.

Who is going to fill the dispenser? It doesn't matter how good it is if it fails at the first hurdle.

DM doesn't even have broadband, so it would mean quite a commitment. A colleague did that for his DM with dementia though, so maybe I'll check with him how that worked out for them.

I would have thought you could use something like Alexa or Siri to issue a timed voice reminder to take meds. Initial set-up may be more expensive, but it would be multifunctional - you could add other functions as they became necessary.

Hmmm. DM also has arthritis in her hands, so anything fiddly (which a quick look on Amazon gives me) is out.

DM has a blister pack for her meds. She has a carer visit once a day in the evening and the carer oversees her taking her meds, and puts the next morning's meds into an egg cup for her to take the next morning. The agency contacted me to say DM hasn't taken her morning meds for three days now, so the system looks like it is no longer working.

The agency have recommended an electronic pill dispenser with an alarm to alert the user they need to take meds. They look like they cost £100 - I was wondering if anyone has any experience of using them?

It's worth putting high on the list. Firstly, it's too late once she's lost capacity. Secondly, it makes life a lot easier. Health and Welfare PoA can only take effect once she's lost capacity, but Finance PoA can be set up, if she wishes, to take effect even while she has capacity, and that means you can divide financial stuff up between you, you can take charge of the big boring bits like paying electricity bills and managing savings, she can manage day to day finances.

Mxflamingnoravera No I don’t have POA at the moment but we have discussed it and she agrees it’s a good idea - I’ll add it to the list Of things to sort.

best have you got Power of Attorney for you mum? If she needs lots of help with paperwork it is probably a good idea and it is always good to know that you can step in if she starts to falter.

Yes, of course, it was Social Services who fitted the handrails thinking about it. I will give them a call in the next week or so. I’ve also filled in the Attendance Allowance form. DF was getting it as he needed help getting dressed - they see to do so much for each other.

DM does have a lot of good friends but of course many of them are shielding and we’re in Wales where many things haven’t opened up. She is also very deaf so struggles to talk to them on the phone.

best have a look at the county council website social care- that should tell you about providers. Adult social services often have helplines for advice.
Pendant alarms give huge peace of mind.
Totally agree about trying to get oldies out and involved.... failed with dm when she moved 15 years ago. Still only goes out with me.

Depending where you live community transport might be an option, it's not always a minibus, sometimes it's a volunteer with a car.

Mum never wanted to leave the house again, not without dad. I wish I'd put more effort into getting her out of the house and meeting people because then she'd have friends now. Lunch club, chair exercise club, church, sewing group, reading group - it doesn't matter what it is as long as it involves people. One day we'll be back to that again.

She did have an appointment with the Falls clinic at the end of last year but of course Dad was around then and went with her so I don’t know what was said. I do think a pendant would be a good idea. Do I need to contact the GP to start things rolling with this?

They have had rails fitted on the stairs and by the step by the back door but we moved the bedroom downstairs recently for Dad so she shouldn’t need to go upstairs.

Know it’s really eArly days best but has she had an ot assessment for pendant alarm/ grab rails etc? Can be really helpful. Or local falls team if you are worried.
Will give you more peace of mind🌺🌺

Thank you all. I and my brother live just 5 minutes away from her so we are on hand and can call in every day but I do worry about her falling and not being able to get help. She gave up driving a year ago so has lost independence that way too.

I am sorry Best. Dad used to do everything, mum had never changed a light bulb or put petrol in the car. Ever. The first few months were finding out about what she didn't know how to do or couldn't do due to disability. She got all her bills on direct debit so she didn't have to worry about missing one, as time has gone on and she's become more forgetful that turned out to be one of her better decisions.

One day at a time - that's all you have to think about.