The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

Autumnrose it must have been about 7 or 8 years ago as MIL has her stroke 5 years ago and it was 2 or 3 years before that. He is very accomplished at playing the system and very manipulative with pulling the "poor me, I'm just a confused old man" when it suits him.

Yes but they don't say they have to use it in any specific way. It is also not about the care they get- they don't have to be getting the care to claim it.

I can’t see the Guardian article and I’m not creating a log in for that misogynistic rag. (Bit ragey today, sorry).

Turn2us, CAB and Gov.uk all say “if you are over 65 and have a disability, or illness with significant care needs”.

the Guardia article says it is for paying for anything they want not just care. (AA)

country okay thanks

I really can’t see how he got a claim through. Was it a while ago? The needs are very specific now.

Autumnrose no worse than your mother! And for the last 3 years he has been main carer for severely disabled MIL! Before she had her stroke he used to save it up to pay for holidays. When she had her stroke he used part to pay for a cleaner as that's womens work so he shouldn't be expected to do it. I have my own views on the ethics of his claim mind.

Top I have third party access to mum's account. They gave me a card and a cheque book. She doesn't bank online either, but I think it's important that if she's in hospital or something, I'm using my own card for her account rather than risk being accused of anything IYSWIM.

you might prefer to do it as a joint account but I think third party access is quicker and easier. Only catch might be that they use the main account holder's address to send you the card and cheque book. It wasn't made clear to us and I live 90 mins - 2 hours away!

With Attendance allowance get some help completing the forms- age uk or carers uk. They are brilliant at knowing exactly what language to use and covered things we hadn’t considered re the impact of health conditions.
Also thanks to advice on here we applied with a paper form- dated so dms claim was backdated. Worth £300 ish.

Top it might be a good idea for her to add you as a signatory to her account, or better still convert her sole account to a joint account with you. This would give you all the powers you need to set up DDs, make payments etc. She would obviously need full mental capacity for the bank to allow the latter.

Also I guess you could set up online banking with her and use that, without a P o A?

I guess as with PIP it is to so much what they can do, but doing it reliably etc, or needing prompting. Maybe best get an advice place to do the forms.

I hadn't thought at all about any sort of allowance. Mum has diabetes and peripheral artery disease (PAD) which was the reason she had to have this recent operation, to create some sort of bypass. I'm not sure if either of those would qualify her for the allowance. She can manage personal care, but at the moment she can't do cleaning, get out or do shopping. I'll take a look at the CAB link, thanks for posting.

With regard to POA, I don't have that either at the moment. She's quite happily given me her debit card to fetch any shopping she wants. Do you think this is ok or should I look at getting POA? Mum doesn't do any online banking (can't use a computer) and if anything needs paying that isn't on DD then we do it over the phone, though I guess we could run into issues with that if she was hospitalised again.

With my dad he fell and cut his leg and with the blood thinner that wasn't good, needed hospital. So we are also saying about risk - dizziness, falls, etc and needing prompting. That CAB guide was good for saying what they need. I'm unsure if my dad takes his tablets properly which probably doesn't help.

Age Uk told me if they struggle to get out, DWP will come and assess them at home for it and do the forms etc. I was unsure about this having claimed PIP in the past, but they said the feedback had been good. AA has a 70% success rate compared to PIP which about 40% at first claim.

So yes we are thinking of claiming for that. Worst that happens they are turned down and can re-apply at a later date.

Countrygirl if you don't mind me asking, what was the effect of the AF and what were the needs?

mum has been against it from the start because in her words "a bad day just means sitting on the sofa and feeling tired and dizzy". She won't go out like that, but she can still cook a meal, do the stairs, no problem showering or dressing.

FIL and my dad both found it very east to get Attendance Allowance and FIL got it before his Parkinsons because of atrial fibrillation. They had someone from Age Concern as it was to advise them how to fill in the forms.

rodentgirl hello and welcome and have a
it's such hard work isn't it? Hope you can get some help or just understanding from this board.

Orange it's a funny illness isn't it.
Re Attendance Allowance.
I've also seen things that say it's not about paying for any help other than personal care so things like dressing. Cleaners etc wouldn't count if that's the case.

I just thought I'd point it out because it gets mentioned a lot on these threads as if everyone over a certain age can get it.

there's a link on CAB site for attendance allowance and what they need to get it. My dad also has AF and I agree can make him dizzy and have funny spells. We are considering applying. and a diary template www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/attendance-allowance/claiming-attendance-allowance/help-with-attendance-allowance-form/

Also more info here www.theguardian.com/money/2011/sep/30/attendance-allowance-elderly-miss-out

Hello all, new here. Mum is in early 70s and diagnosed last year with a neurological condition which is progressing fast and affecting mobility, thinking, swallow et al. I've got kids and a job and am generally spannered from all the running around. We have private care in and are under the hospice. Have read lots of useful stuff on this board so I'm delurking in search of sanity!

nota every official source says they have to have a disability though.

my mum has atrial fibrilliation. It's the kind of condition that can mean very bad days, but she feels strongly that it's taking the piss a bit if you, can for example, watering the garden with a hosepipe one day but the next day you have dizzy spells and erratic heartbeat.

We weren't particularly fussed but while we were at a GP appointment I thought I'd ask and the first thing they said was "but she doesn't have a disability".

she does have a cleaner but tbh the cleaner makes the place spotless. If the cleaner isn't well or something, you can't see the difference unless you look hard.

it was hearing about it on here that made me think it was something mum could get, but it seems you only get it if you have quite full on needs. Ironically I now realise I might have been able to claim for some help when I had a spinal injury but maybe not, I don't know.

I think Autumn it's about how well the person filling out the form does it. You basically have to think of them on their worst day in terms of mobility, additional help required for day to day stuff like shopping, cooking, etc.

It is not a well promoted benefit, which means a lot of people who are eligible aren't getting it.

I also think that there is a stigma amongst some people around applying for benefits, as they don't want to appear needy etc. My feeling is I pay a shed load of taxes in order to help fund the welfare state, and that those people who need benefits should be given them.

I've been confused by comments on Attendance Allowance before

I might have misunderstood but it's often presented as "any elderly person with health issues can get it" but that doesn't seem to be the case at all. Mum's GP said he couldn't think why she'd be eligible and none of her friends in the same age group seem to get it in spite of problems like spinal stenosis, chronic pain.

Top does your DM have Attendance Allowance? If not, I would highly recommend applying for it (it's not means tested). I use it to pay for outsourcing the things that I can - gardener, etc.

Also, look at getting Power of Attorney in place. I have financial POA for DM which means I can do her banking online for her, and have a card linked to her account which I use for any shopping etc that she needs - meaning I'm not out of pocket.

Top ah, that’s good. I made a few calls to local agencies for dad at one point and discovered that quite a few wouldn’t help the patient with stairs, which I completely understand, but it was helpful to know. So if you are that sort of person, maybe make some enquiries generally.

But hopefully your mum will go on improving