The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

Thanks Thistly

I do wish the GP had told us this when she did her DNR.

Hi autumn, its an emergency health care plan. The GP writes on with their patient, and it sets out parameters. She has it in addition to a DNR. The paramedics consult it and use it to inform their decision whether to transfer to hospital.
It’s been great so far for us; means paramedics feel more confident about their decision making.

Thistly I'm guessing EHCP is Elderly Care Health Plan.

how do we get one of those? mum wouldn't want hospital admission if she got infected either but we need that formalised somehow.

Thanks sandwich and Yolo; i guess i keep doing what i am doing until such time as self isolation is called for.
I’m going to have a chat with her and other family members before calling to GP to update her EHCP. She almost certainly wouldn’t want hospital admission in case of infection.... not that she’d get it by the sounds of things.

The lack of decisive action on the part of the govt is painful.

Hope those of you with DC abroad get them back soon!

Mere so your dad is okay with not seeing you?

sorry about your son's phone, what a royal PITA.

Re the over 70s households, I have a feeling that's what they will say, that everyone is on lockdown as much as possible.

Yolo, good that that's sorted.

DD2 booked on a flight on Weds. dint your poor son! what a nightmare even if too early.

From BBC website: "Action to isolate the UK's over-70s for an extended period to shield them from coronavirus is planned in the coming weeks, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has confirmed.".

So how's that going to work then? I have an over-70 in the household. Do the rest of us self-isolate alongside?

I see now it’s just an effort to stop them using beds. Friend of mine whose daughters are both doctors says when it comes to it they simply won't treat, or even assess, over 65s. Yes, I know this is scaremongering. But realistically we know we have nowhere near enough intensive care beds, and they're not going to place an elderly person ("who is doing to die sometime anyway" as a PP elsewhere in MN so charmingly put it) as a higher priority than someone economically active or who is caring for children.

Sad as it may seem, I've found I seem to get better medical care if I say I do voluntary work than if I say simply that I'm retired.

currently trying to work out how to get DD1 home from French Alps, which have basically closed. DS2 is indeed in Malaga, everything is closed, AND he's had his phone nicked. He is not a happy bunny!

Mere, how does your dad feel? The urge to look after everyone is kicking in. Phone call from him last night, always a bit difficult because of his deafness, but he seems OK, and just concerned about whether he should ring me again this morning. Wanted to know where the bar of soap had come from in his cupboard, and told me he had been given a new touch control bedside light.

yolo How old is DD1? Flights are still going into France - LBA departure board today has all flights cancelled except one to Paris.

Yolo, that’s good, hope she comes home soon.

Hoping also that the government are watching reactions to elderly being isolated. I see now it’s just an effort to stop them using beds. Wonder if we could register decisions alongside DNR?

autumn I think they'll give a few days grace to brit nats coming home like the USA has just done... if necessary we will drive down but I dont want to - its a fuck of a long way, DH immunocompromised, I'm not good at driving in France as wrong side of the road etc etc.

The worst thing of all of this seems to me to be the uncertainty, and the feeling that UK is doing much less than other countries.

Mere, how does your dad feel?

Yolo, flights are still coming out of France are they?

Looks like the rumour comes from one article

I do wish the government would make some announcements daily.

Luckily mum won’t find out the rumour till she sees her newspaper tomorrow morning.

It's honestly looking all a bit shit. My neighbour, whose mother is in the same home mine did about 2 nights in, says visiting still allowed but they are hot on hand san, supervising hand washing etc.

I think autumn as individuals, unless advice otherwise, you get to make you own decisions

currently trying to work out how to get DD1 home from French Alps, which have basically closed...

it's all a pile of pants really!

Been out all day
Horrified by the rumour of elderly being told to self isolate for months

No one is going to stop me seeing my mum, surely?

I realise it’s to save the nhs the bother of treating them but still.....seems inhuman.

Friend of mine whose daughters are both doctors reckons that with shortage of intensive care beds, anyone over 65 will have no chance of treatment.

I've had the decision taken out of my hands - nursing home is closed to visitors. Now I just have to worry about my much older DH, and whether DS2 got back from Spain or whether he's stuck there, and how DS1 is going to survive on half pay now there are no airline passengers needing to be served, and whether my kitten's sore paw is enough of an emergency to take her to the emergency vets or whetehr she can survive till Mon and see her own vet.

thistly no easy answers... dont envy you. Our village has put out a FB appeal for people to help others - pick up shopping, hospital lifts etc. I would do this like a shot normally, but DH is immunocompromised - so no, I wont.

sandwich come on over, but tread carefully with those penguin feet!

Okaaay yolo might venture over there when I’m bored😉😉
Penguins you say?
Hello thistly no wise words.... apart from wash your hands?? So hard to know. If you have any doubts, stay away, but who knows? I am retired but have reduced volunteering etc to reduce risk to dm..... you can’t do that. Much sympathy.

Hello everyone.
Have occasionally lurked in the past, and always felt so grateful that my gran is so appreciative of what i do to care for her. She lives in a bungalow on the same street as me, and is currently struggling to keep her routine together. She has carers once a day.
She definitely can’t manage without someone popping in on a daily basis.

What do people think? Is it better for me to just keep the normal routine? Or find a way to reduce my contact with her? I serve the public in my work and have children attending school.

Once again, i am often so shocked by the experiences other people have of caring for elderly relatives; the sense of entitlement, the inability to think beyond themselves. I admire those of you continuing to care for people under such difficult circumstances.
Everyone must be making difficult decisions at the moment.

sandwich name change due to ongoing totally ridiculous conversation in royal family section... suffice it to say, a lot of hilarious convos about penguins.

Curious about what prompted name change yolo? Deep significance?
Good to hear oldies still out and about- will try and keep getting dm out to keep us sane!

FIL, 90 in July, is still going up to London, speaking at events etc. MIL, 83, is much less mobile and hence a bit more stay-in. However, they were both here last w/e with a similar aged friend.

DD2 now working from home rather than commuting to London - thank fuck - DD1 still in French Alps but I expect her to be sent home next week, either because France closes borders or because bottom falls out of ski market.

It’s really hard. Don’t want to panic dm but have been trying to stock up her supplies without her noticing as she always comments about what I bring.
Balancing getting her out if possible with risk- not sure about using the lovely wheelchair taxi folk at the moment.
cockroach all.

I'm not sure that either granny really gets what's going on. Over the last four weeks I've managed to get one of them to fill her shelves and freezer so that if I self isolate she has food in the house. The other is used to shopping every day, never mind that she can't get further than the dustbin now, and is confident that "someone" will be there to shop for her. I've stuck some tinned stew on the shelves, veg and ready meals in the freezer and that's as much as I can do.

I want to wrap them in cotton wool and board up the front door but while that's ok for a week it's not going to work for months. I am trying to introduce Facetime so that they'd still have contact if I'm shut in but seeing as mum has forgotten she has an ipad I doubt this will go well. The carrot there is that she would get to see her grandson because at the moment there is no way I'm having the two of them in the same room. He's at uni and is the biggest transmission risk.

I managed to take a consignment of toilet paper to DM last night. She'll probably outlive the rest of us as she is made from 100% grit and determination.

I know I shouldn't get upset when the dementia speaks, but she kept asking me about DD's wedding (there isn't one), what her ring was like (also, doesn't exist), etc. It's not one I could play along with as it took me a while to get it.

Mothers day looks like we will cancel the table DB booked, and he and I will just do something at DM's house instead.

How are you all doing with your oldies and corona? The one thing we have all been saying to each other is "thank god gma is not around for this". The stress would have sent her, and therefore me, into the stratosphere.

So for those of you still in the trenches etc.